With anonymity, I can be honest. Well, assuming I'm not being a Dick to people, I can be honest.
If you want some honesty, here is some real honesty...
If I had it all to do over again
'Would I go after the 15k dream?'
I love my bike, I love riding it, I think Racing is Cool. I mentioned this to one of the Twitter people. "George Hincapie is cool to us", to the other 99.9999% of the world, he is just some skinny athlete, who used to ride with lance. George is Cool, and a Great guy! I think the world of him. But he is just some dude who lives in Virginia or something, I'm not even sure I'd say hi at the grocery store. I'd smile, give him a head nod.
This is what I do like,
I like the Stories.
I like how Ryan Barrett and Kelly struggle with, how to fit his cycling into their lives.
I like Lozy, I like the story of how he is trying to eek out his first Cat 4 win, I'm super psyched to see if that can happen this year. I like, that he made sure Heather got to the Boston Marathon!
I like Sohmy, and Kimbal.... and Clint and everybody out there "WHO JUST KEEP FIGHTING! EVERY GOD DAMN DAY!"
I like to hear about how, Sandy has moved on to Becoming a doctor, and still tries to mix a little cycling into his Days.
These are great Stories!
A Few years back, Champion sports apparel did their commercials, not focused on the Michael Jordans of the world, but on the Lozy's and the Sandy's... THE EVERY DAY HERO'S.... I very much think, these are the GREAT HERO'S of the World. The Nancy's and the AK'S and the J-Rad's and the Art's and the Stephen's .... The guys who fight every day, to try and stay fit. That go out and enjoy a good workout, change back into Clark Kent... and go back to work.
I like that Mr. Big time Louder's family is following him around in an RV... I'd like to read That Blog!! More than I'd like to hear about how.. "I attacked, he attacked, I countered... somebody won!"
To Hell With Lance, and Cavendish, and Thor and....... Ok... Great! you won a tour stage.... But did you Spend all day Prepping for an afternoon Meeting?, and still make it outside, for a 3 hour ride!!! That is hard... George Hincappie you rode your bike all day, then came home and took a nap... WOW!!! AMAZING. Sign me up!! (Eye Roll).... Where is the Biography... George? did you sleep on your right side or your Left?.
So, as a Moral Philosophy... that is the point of "The Mop!"... I'm your biggest Fan... you every day Hero of the road! Just don't be a douchbag! Just don't try and be a KillJoy to someone else.
I have no desire to "Fuck with People", every once in a while... I may step on your tail a little, or maybe try and get you to look at something with a different perspective. But honestly, Life is questions, not answers.... and all I have are questions.
so.. with facebook...twitter etc....
Suddenly it's been easier to have a One on One Relationship with "The mop"... I have to say, it's been kind of strange, and interesting. Listen, every time things get there, regardless if it's Nancy, or Sandy, or Art... Honestly, I think this "Mop thing" is FUCKING STUPID, especially when you and I are One on One. Those tend to be more, Gardening advice, or a few people want to get a One on One Allons-Y. I very much want to go "Hey! My real name is X, Lets go get coffee" But it is hard game to play if "I'm a Real boy".
Now for some real honesty, for example, one of you.... was and has been, for about 3 weeks, a complete Jackass on twitter. I've had to shut them/it down on them a couple times. For being a DICK to people... and yes, this person is a self loathing Dope. Misery loves company. My point is, I WOULD NEVER HANG WITH YOU!(Chances are good, this is not you BTW, As a game, you assume or wonder if I'm talking about you. I would just dismiss it, because chances are very good, it's not you.) I'm good to put a positive spin, and give a pep talk. But when you realize, that i'm not Psyched to be your bud.... there is a ittle "Shine" on "The Mop" that is lost.
But there are still the "Mop Curious"... and they want to get to know me better, and that is great, I'd love to get to know many of you better. It can't be done, at the conclusion of "the Mop" last time in 2006?, somebody got close, to "the mop" and it started to destroy things. It's very much Pandora's box. The box is great, Leave it alone! Understand... Being a "Real Boy" destroys "The Mop"... as a persona.
Seriously, There are numerous, Real Live woman in my life. There are Several very close friends. There are tons of business associates and clients. My life is as full as I can stand. Honestly, I'd love to go play Tennis with Art, And still... Maybe I will. Who knows. But ... Being a non Enigma... a Non Cypher... I can't do it, it screws with the fabric of the illusion.
I've talked to a few people, who are familiar with the Mop in real life.
Some of them say, "This is stupid, why do it... it's not a game."
They are Wrong! This is a High order Mental Game.... They mean well, but they don't get it. For some reason, they think I can talk about anything, and get away with it... all becoming, a "Real Boy" does is makes this boring. Also, If I can't do the "OverShare" and talk Super Personal, to all of you... this is a waist of time for me.... Part of that, is to be clear.. I can garden and make a mean Paella, but I still suffer!
I keep saying "Mentally you picture 'The Mop', even though you do not know what kind of 'Mop' it is."(this is from Wild at heart BTW) The first problem, is "The mop" is not what you picture. It's not the Fantasy, especially for the woman, who get some idea i'm Fabio or something.... The real Me... the non Cypher, the non Enigma... IS NOT WHAT YOU PICTURE!... it's not your Illusion, I guarantee!
Now to be honest... I'M BETTER than your illusion!!! I'm Greater, and I'm even a more Fantastic a person "In Real Life".... but the problem is "I'm not the Delusion that you have!"... and it's a pity, most people can't let go of that "Illusion", and get to know the Real person...
Look at it from my perspective.... the idea that you like me "Because of 'the mop' " and not because, you look at me, "The real Boy" and want to get to know him.... It's Repugnant. I would resent you for it.
I... 'The Real Boy', AM NOT THE MOP"... it's an illusion.... in reality, things are messy! Feelings get hurt, Ego's Bruised.... hearts Broken! I'm a puppet master... "The Mop" is this thing (A Third or fourth Order game) on the blog, and the thing on Twitter, Neither of which are Me(I'm the Fourth or Fith order guy, pulling the strings.). I am Very much Amazed, and think you all are Spectacular, People! That is true.
One of the Twitter folk, A charming woman, started a bit of a One on One, with me, this was January. She very much just wanted to go have some Coffee. I was totally into it. But I know that there is a 98% chance, I'm waisting my time. Her illusion of me, is Hell and gone from the reality, it's no way to start a relationship. It's a Pity, in fact it's a good damn Shakespearian Tragedy, Very Charming woman... and It will never work out, because "I'm the Mop". It would be a very different thing, If I or she caught me, on the road, and we just hit it off. But... Coffee with "The Mop"... It's the stuff of Rumor.(and how stupid is it, that ... I just wrote that.... How dysfunctional!)... I can be the great cycling Snipe, Elusive Silver Backed Rhino, that the hunter wants to bag.
There is some guy, He is out there on a bike, Struggling his way up Suncrest.... That is me. The guy you just dropped, or the guy you just waved to on the road. Maybe, I'm the guy who rode with you for 7 miles on Saturday morning or the guy who you put the screws to on 27th... That is me...
Now, 'The mop'! he is the Allons-y... he is the .... Good Morning!... he is the 'Keep fighting!'... the weird story about Riding suncrest, or trying not to knock a kid off a BMX bike.... that is "the mop"
I'm the guy, still obsessing about "if the mildew, is gone from his shower".. that is me... but it's still AWESOME!!!
And the point of this post is, in the words of TC McQueen.
"Anyone worth a Chigs Ass,
WILL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
for asking themselves
'Who Am I? and What is the point?' "
"To turn away is simple!"