Thursday, February 11, 2010

Let the Demons Chase

I sometimes spell that Daemons... It's not a misspelling BTW.

Strange things are Afoot for the old mop.

Turbo Caught me, in a joke about some of my "lesser Persona's" Which sounds odd. Well, I can say it actually is odd. Our lives are filled with Archetypes, as a smart person suggested, these are our WWE or WCW Wrestling Persona's. We show different ones to different people. We can Create some for some people. We may have our Work Persona, or our Friend Persona. Maybe our persona we show a Lover.

Somewhere, in all of that is our Real Self. If you don't realize, "The Mop" I hope is my Real Self. The problem has always been, if you Knew me, I could never Be ME!. One must strap on that Persona, and Guard themselves like a Suit of armor...

but I don't have to explain myself to you...

An old friend of my, was hurt last weekend. I probably have to make contact, even though... it's not like we had a falling out, more a falling away. Just a something you move away from, because it's easier. There is Epic Back story. (I'm trying not to use the phrase Epic, but have yet to come up with a new Phrase). So I'm still thinking about it, I guess I'm not even sure I want to make contact. Of course if I don't that will be it, for the relationship, for certain. That and about 4 other Associations... I'm just a dick these days, and as far as I was concerned, it was all just better to move away from.

Then.... I seem to be Smitten again... Smitten with a Mitten... I don't fucking know... but it rhymed. She is very Charming, and ... my number one problem is that; I'm still a fucking mess. Not that ... There is that phase where you are a mess, and you don't know it. Though I'm a Fucking mess, I know it... and that is always the first step to putting things back together. It's one of those things where, it's currently scaring the shit out of me, because she seems very ... "made for me".. I find these kinds of romantic Notions ... Stupid. But I do think that in the course of a 40 year life, you would think that finding the yin to your yang is probable.

Of course she is very much more "Together" than I am.... Which just adds to my insecurity.

I wrote last night to a Dear friend about it all, and that this is one of those times that it feels like the Universe is telling me something(which I don't believe in. That the universe talks, not that there is a universe.) But These 2 things, sort of feel like the 2 Keys to getting my ... emotional disaster from the past few years, Solidly back on the Rails.

Then there is my rational side, that says... you just need better sleep, some Vitamins, and this is all just a BioChemical response to getting back on the "workout wagon" in a serious way. Even though, if you saw my workouts, you would laugh... I know I do.

From Shit and Piss we are born.

I tell you the Ok part of this.

It's to be Sort of 'In love' again.

Of course we all know how that last one turned out...

Oh... BTW Sarah got Married... last spring, I believe. I'm sure you all were dying to know how that turned out.