Friday, December 25, 2009

What did you Get me day!

Here it is... just a few hours left of the APEX of this Vial time of the year. The second of the Three worst holidays on the calender. Long time readers of this blog Might remember, Let me cover the past Christmas Exploits.

Let us just start with some facts:

I have a few nieces, one nephew
a brother sister and both parents.
There are more, but I some of my immediate family just don't count.

I did learn something this year, Our society says that you only get gifts for Immediate family, everyone else gets cards.

  • First annoying Christmas. My Sister in Law, because i'm good with wood, Thought I should build her a 500 CD Rack. That would only take a good Week of my free time. But what does it mater to her, Right? My answer to this was that All Christmas lists needed to be submitted by E-Mail(she didn't have e-mail) I want to point out that. Every Christmas I generally didn't give gifts Just my brother and his wife, I picked up things for each of them, and all of my brothers STEP KIDS!... but that and a CD Rack.
  • One year, I purchased my sister parts for a new computer. The deal was, that she spent a day with me, Putting it together. My sister Unemployed, couldn't manage to find a job. Had Limited skills. So... She complains "I don't want to do that", I said "Ok, I'll just take it all back." *pout Moan* Can't you do it for me. We put it together and I took her through it step by step. Except for some reason she didn't have her modem drivers. I explained how to install them and sent her on her way. 2 days later she calls me in a Hissy fit... "THIS DOESN'T WORK"!!! I told her to bring it to me and I'd fix it. "NO! YOU COME HERE!" Do you see what drives me up the wall. There are tons of these people! They think it's a negotiation. Some how I owe it to her now! I told her she was going to come here or I wasn't going to do it. I again mentioned that I was happy to take it back.
  • Then there was the year that, I'm at the parents home, and we want to have that nice sit around and talk time. On Christmas Eve. My niece pulls a fit, Basically she wanted to just grab her presents and run off. I told her that the next year we would put the presents on the street and they could just pick them up as they passed.
  • Then there was the Christmas my brother got me the newest book of Sean Hanity Lies. It was second edition, so the things that he had Lied about, had retractions after the chapters. Basically it was Chapter-Retraction which effectively nullified the whole book.
  • My sisters husband, who's birthday is Christmas EVE, Because he was forgotten every year. I got him Golf Clubs, one year.
  • after all of this About October a few years back, my sister came over with my niece and they both decided to just be a couple awful Bitches. At that point I turned to my sister and my niece, and said "No more Christmas", and it's been over ever since.
  • With my family, I don't even try and play nice anymore. I never bite my tongue, always tell them when they say something stupid, use a word out of context, spurious logic. I live to Correct them, about anything. They can't stand to be around me. Once or Twice a year, they Try and either make up or see if they can stand to be around me, and it doesn't work.
  • This year every time one of them said Christmas to me, I said "Christmas is for Kids, and People with Kids"

After 2 or 3 years of No Christmas, It's official... Finally the Grinch Got no Christmas Gifts. Why? as it was Clear to me, after going through this bullshit, being single and still spending $200-$500 per year on Christmas over 35 years of my life.


Christmas to me, is a Very Quiet day, I get and extra Weekend day to read and watch movies. BTW, I managed to not watch a Single Christmas movie, The closest I came to Christmas was going shopping in department stores Twice in the past month, Any time anything Christmas like came on TV in the past month, the channel was changed.

and if I'm Lucky nobody stops by.

My favorite uncle, who's kids hated him, and when they turned 18 he didn't get to spend time with them. He and I used to go skiing on Christmas, that wasn't a bad way to spend Christmas.

I had an old boss, who had one daughter and an Ex-Wife. He used to buy himself a bottle of scotch big enough that he would get up... start drinking and not remember the 25th at all.

Now lets talk about New years.... There was the Knife Fight, the time when my Ex used to work the day before, the Day of New years Eve and the day After.

To me these have always been, just days off... that nothing is open.

Trying to make these days anything else is just a mistake waiting to happen.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

War is Over(if you want it)

I saw this: Tell me that it doesn't put this Christmas bullshit in perspective.
Meditate on how true it is now,
as it was in 1969
When John and Yoko started their Peace Project.
WAR IS OVER!(if you want it.)
Give the video a minute to really get going
Seems like Yoko posted this video Jan 1 2007, and this was her note: December 8, 2007 I miss you, John. 27 years later, I still wish I could turn back the clock to the Summer of 1980. I remember everything - sharing our morning coffee...
40 years since this campaign in 1969!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Health Care

Here is another rant. This is why Health care is important. These are some of the issues that most people are ignorant of.

Let me establish some Facts.

Average health care costs are $12,000 per Family.
  • The cost to an individual, paying out of pocket, for Health care is Between $500-$1000 a MONTH.
  1. For $500 you get Basic Health care, The kind of health care you get when you work somewhere Miserable, and the company you work for just wants to say they have Coverage.
  2. For $250 a month you can get coverage with about $2000 deductible.
  3. For $1000 You get comprehensive coverage, and a minor plan deductible, Congress would call it a Cadillac plan, or the kind of plan Members of the Federal Government get, or People who work for GE, or work for a Union
  • In the next 7 years the cost of Health care is expected to Double.$24,000
  • The middle 33% of the population make GROSS 29,000-66,000 Per household. That is $15,000-$33,000 per person.
  • If you Net out Health care, that is $17,000-$54,000 Per Household IS THE MIDDLE CLASS that is a 300% difference from lower to upper middle class. And think about living on $17,000 per year($8500 per individual) or $1,400 per month or $324 per week, that is enough money to pay bills and own a car YIPEE you are middle Class! Now I'd suggest you are broke.
Now a Story:

About 10 years ago, I wanted to expand my business. once I looked into if I had a chance of clearing another $30,000 to Hire someone else, there was then the other $10,000 to get them health care.

That is 25% of their wage in Health care, which looks to double in the next 10 years. For the past 10 years the reason Wages haven't risen is because Health care HAS DOUBLED. In 10 years there is a chance that half of your compensation will be in health care.

THIS IS UNSUSTAINABLE. Most of the economic growth in this country over the past 10 years has been small business, Most of whom just hired workers and didn't provide health care. HEALTH CARE IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON BUSINESS CAN'T EXPAND.


It's holding our economy back, businesses will not be able to keep going on like this, health care an insurance will implode over the next 20 years. But congress doesn't care about small business, what they care about are SPENDING MONEY ON WAR! and Making sure that the SENATOR FROM HARTFORD INSURANCE(Lieberman), and from Blue Cross Blue Shield(Orin hatch). Are taken care of, and that Exxon Is taken Care of. BUT SMALL BUSINESS get FUCKED. It's almost like there is an effort to make sure that my small company, can't compete with the larger ones. In the next 10 years, the only companies able to afford insurance will be companies Like GE and Exxon and fuck you if you work for any company that isn't an international conglomerate, or State or Fed Gov. and you get sick... Bankrupt is what you will be.

Monday, December 07, 2009


I was going to give up for the day, but things are starting to get exciting.

As I was contemplating what to do with my day, I thought; I should ride my bike. I looked outside and realized that wasn't going to happen...

and the thought hit me....

MAYBE it is time to break out the rollers!

What a horror show, a towel under the bike, one on the bike. Me in shorts and a base layer for sweat. Movie in the DVD....

and an hour of "hippo on a tightrope"

JESUS!!! and I'm considering it... Maybe I should just go eat some pie!

Sunday, December 06, 2009

There it was...

There it was, for a brief moment I was inspired. My Muse had me Firmly in it's grips as I day dreamed in front of the T.V., this morning.

And then it Slipped Away.

Befuddled, this posed deteriorates into this:

My diet is crazy right now. I seem to be living on oranges and Coffee with EggNog as a Creamer. I'd best take a Multivitamin. But I've been feeling Very good... so don't knock it till you try it.Ok, I get some Soup in there somewhere.

This Book has been torturing me for Months, I'm having Brief glimpses of brilliance, followed by periods of "my life interfering with consistent Meditative Focused Thought, to the point where I want to do that little thing where you place your index finger across and between your lips and make a sound similar to the one Twiggy made on the 1980's buck Rogers. bdbabudabuda...

Truth is before I get into anything but the roughest of drafts, I have got to learn how to write.

I just want to confess, I spent a lot of time sleeping in English Class. Sentence structure on the Written page, makes me confused. I've become a huge fan of just using random Punctuation!!

There is a book somewhere right? and Idiots guide to writing? or Fundamentals of punctuation? Honestly if someone Literate could point me in a direction. I would very much appreciate it.

Well, that is it for"Today in the life of my Colon and other such Ramblings".

Saturday, December 05, 2009


I say this all the time:

Most the blogs I post to, I only interface through the blogger dashboard. I can go months without going to the Actual page.

when I do:


Useless facts

... I found this site.

301 Useless facts, but interesting. I do wonder; Why I find them interesting.

  • 6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn’t digest itself.
  • 10. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.
  • 12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.
  • 14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
  • 21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar
  • 22. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
  • 29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day
  • 34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape
  • 43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON’T TRY IT, DUMBASS)
  • 53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That’s more than sharks.
  • 54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday.
  • 57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
  • 61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.
  • 65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original “Halloween” was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget.
  • 67. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
  • 73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from.
  • 80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.
  • 81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
  • 90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
  • 91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
  • 104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.
  • 110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury.
  • 117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
  • 131. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
  • 132. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse’s legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
  • 138. Almonds are members of the peach family.
  • 147. “101 Dalmatians” and “Peter Pan” are the only Disney animations in which both of a character’s parents are present and don’t die during the movie.
  • 149. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.
  • 187. Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes.
  • 220. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
  • 254. People say “bless you” when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.
  • 259. The bestselling books of all time are The Bible (6billion+), Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tung (900million+), and The Lord of the Rings (100million+)
  • 266. Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol
  • 291. Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died.
  • of course the most charming fact would be that the list of facts is probably more urban legend

No rest for the Wicked

Was it only one week ago that Tiger woods drove his car into a tree and it started a week of Gavel to gavel coverage.

On Fridays, I'm completely exhausted.... in a way you would have no idea. I could catch a nap at about 3pm, but then I'd wake up at like 9pm and then climb the walls till about 9am then fall back asleep. Or I try and drag it out, problem is I tend to just be too exhausted to sleep, either that or it's that last cup of coffee. I fall asleep then wake up at the Great and Productive hour of 3am on saturday morning!!!!

Seriously, I'd fucking Kill to sleep in Until 7 or 8 am.

I of course have decided that all my Tiger news will come from Apple news Daily from Taiwan, who do computer reenactment and have funny sentence structure.

Seems like Tiger is learning a sort of MC hammer lesson, about how there is a point you become a lottery ticket for everyone around him. The Extra Funny part is that aparentley Tiger had a deam about Rachel and her having a 3 some with Derik Jeter and David Boreanez.... Doesn't that seem like a Fantisy she would have, and not him...

I guess it's possible that the Dream was that she had sex with them Separately, but in the mind of the Chinese, these Hollywood types are crazy. It's hard to argue!

Here is the Newest!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

TIger Woods

I'm about ready to turn the news off. I mean Forever, or at least until this Tiger Woods obsession is over... I don't mean to hope for war or something, but is the news this fucking slow.

I just don't feel like I need an update every hour about where tiger's dick has been.

The real problem is I spend my day reading and watching news. So update 7 on tiger after hour 7 of my news day... is a little much..

ok that is all I can stand to blog.

Somebody said "well you aren't a golf fan"... I'm a cycling fan, and I REALLY don't give a shit who Lance or floyd are fucking... Hell I barely care what poisons they are ingesting, to make themselves better.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

1 down 2 to go

Well, the first holiday is tomorrow. Yipeee...

eh... I had a whole whine I was going to work up.. I think I'd rather lay down and take a shower or something..

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Ugh.... I feel like hell. Maybe I've got something again....

I've whined about it before, but Fridays aren't my day.... and after struggling fitfully for 24 hours... I still feel like crap.

I could use a good cry... that sounds pathetic... and probably is.

Well, I think I'll try and drink a gallon of water and see if it makes me feel better...

hoping the problem is all the cookies and soda I've been drinking... ya... I know, and even I can't explain it.....

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Ruturn of the Legend

Looks like The Bird has returned to blogging. I felt as though I should Mark the Occasion. ... I'm hoping the powers that be will provide me with something interesting to write...

those are the kinds of things I type to try and inspire some .... thinking.

as much as I've tried... sorry, my friend... the curser just blinks at me ..... Taunting!

But I'll try as long as you try!!!

all about me right!!!

Saturday, October 31, 2009


Sometimes, one wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. Your heart is beating, mind running a million miles per hour. For the past half hour you have been running from Vampires or Zombies... Evil Step Sister... A thousand naked woman throwing little pickles at you(The horror here is that this is a joke from a movie I was making fun of somebody for quoting, and it's 25 years old, and ... they are trying to reclaim their lost youth).

You wake up, Heart and mind going a thousand miles per hour... Only that is how I wake up. 3am on a saturday, and no I wasn't being chased by zombies... I just woke up. I have nothing to do... but laundry...

all I really want is to get about 4 more hours of sleep... and to wake up refreshed.

Probably isn't going to happen.. but I'll probably lay back in bed and wish for some real sleep.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

This was a letter.....

I have the pork thing, the one you had such a clever name for.... PorkFlu, Porkchop Fever! I can't remember. It has my head in a Vice, sort of a confused haze. I need to rest up and get over it as quickly as possible, but Rest just gives me too much time to reflect, and wallow in misery. I can almost smell it. Does the Swine flu have a smell?

I'm watching 'To Gillian on her 37th birthday.' It seems ok, but all I can think of is that I was 20 something when it came out, and has Michelle Pfeiffer in it, and apparently she is 37, looking good but reminds me of how old I am.... "Am I that old" "Am I old enough to be a professor and live on a beach, to have had a wonderful wife die, and have a 16 year old daughter." And yet here I sit, wallowing in what it is to be me. Anyways, who can live up to these Hollywood fantasies?

Struggling with fantasies I guess. This is going to sound strange, but I just want to exist. Just want to ... be there and be a person, have a life like everyone else. But it seems like that is the fantasy, that I am what I am, Where I am. It's best probably to just let it all be.

Just keep fighting and let it all be, I guess.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

White hot Mop acton.

Beat... I'm beaten like an old mule...

Not complaining I do it to myself. I did sneak out and watch a movie. you know I can't just drive and see a movie. I have to walk 3 miles, with the mp3 player get some exercise, then I can eat some wings, and see a movie.....

That is a big Saturday night for me... ends about 7pm.

I intend to make enchiladas and chili reanos tomorrow. No idea how to do the chili things.. stuff peppers with cheese I guess..

Shit!!! I'm sorry blog.... I tried!

(seriously if you want to know why I don't write much.... this is it... this is how it comes out, and I just want to suck my thumb and watch news about Jon and Kate.. Ok I'm kidding, but not... It's more that I'd love to do something so mindless, but my mind won't let me. But in all honesty, i'm 100% up to date with jon and kate and baloonboy drama!)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Ugh... of a week

Too much is going on...

and there is something else going on out there, that I'm too .... You know... Keep fighting buddy... Keep fighting..

Tough to keep going on about my bullshit...

I actually wrote a story, which I can't share, it's ok. I'm going to try and write more. and I'm toying with submitting them for publication.

My writing has become so broken. I need to start writing in story format.

Keep going everyone, try and keep the good Energy going.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hi Blog!

When there is nothing else, there is the old blog.....

Yep made it all the way to that phrase, The old words just don't run out of the tips of my fingers like they used to..... I wish it could be so.... just for the Cleansing of it... or whatever that word is Catharsis!!!!!

I was feeling a little backed up, went after a fiber cereal, and fortunately some company has mixed sugar with fiber and now it's good for me... Right...

Seriously, i'm running at like an 11 on a 1-10 emotional scale...

Seems like the hate mongers and the fear merchants are doing their best to get the country all worked up.....

always seems easy to me, try and watch who is filled with the most Lies and Hate... and stay away from them....

not that they then shouldn't be hated...

I'm just saying; if you think that Obama is Hitler, and there is some mass conspiracy by ACORN for Kenyan Black panthers to overthrow the U.S. government, and put the white folk in FEMA deathcamps.

You either need to spend a weekend coming to your senses, or get some help...

but for sure the fear merchants are out there trying to use it to get what they want...

this is the nonsense that has me on an 11 on the old emotional volume meter.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

ok... I may be joining the Freepers!

But the rocket scientists in congress have now decided to pull off... what I expected.

The solution to health care, is to give more money to insurance companies.

most probably outcome is forcing people into "Insurance Programs" that are low end, So that Minor injuries will be covered but anything Major will still cause bankruptcy. Unless of course people want to spend half their income on a Decent program.

we will see if it's a "Tax Break" or a "Tax Credit" and how much but I doubt it will be larger than 5K.. what is that $400 a month.

apparently the breaks come if you are paying over 15% for health care.
which should be easy since lower middle class is 30K per family, and median health expenses are 15K.

so there could be up to a 4K dollar penalty to not have insurance....

Thursday, September 03, 2009

bla bla bal CBIATWT

Tired... not up for a post... I feel good on the bike, though my cleat position is FUCKED UP... Need to work on it... just in time to buy some new shoes!!! LOL.

Decided to do some climbing today. Don't get too excited! no flats in like 50 or 60 miles.. so that is good! The legs were sore...

what is funny is that for 6 warmup miles I feel like crap, then finaly I settle in and things are fine!

Melanie Odin Kicked ass today, definatly a top 10 player... it will take some time for the other players to get her game Dialed in, then we will see how she really does... but she has a "For REAL" game. many of the top womans players got the USOPEN "GO BIG OR GO HOME!" and ended up on the losing end.

Funny how my jokes get sort of spoiled on Twitter... With Odin of the USA and her trying to go through all these russian woman.... I commented "It's like the old 1980's cold war days, only they brought the Sexy!"

It's thursday, and the week has piled up, HAVE to get some of the Lingering shit done tomorrow. Maybe if I get it done I can get a good puke on.... spent the first part of the week doing maintinence instead of getting projects done.... so that is where I am...

What a shit post... oh... up the hill today some MTB caught my wheel... lasted a few minutes and I sort of left him on the dangle... cause I was fucking tired.... Then I kicked the bike into top gear and let it shred!! It was sad actually!... for both of us!

Like I said, felt good for a guy who feels like he is getting kicked all day!

If your managed to read through this whole thing!!! Thank you ... and I'm sorry!!! The 80's thing was good.... It's what I have and it's all there is....

then I came home and i Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Kicking me!!

Generally these days I get on my bike and when I'm not getting flat tires.... I feel like somebody has been kicking me.

But let me talk about my tire 15 miles brand new tube and it blew out the side of the tube, no pinch flat, no thorn. I suspect the threadwarn sides of the tires have been destroying my tubes.. that and the thorns...

So I switch out the tires, and have some nice fresh ones... of course I think I put 800 miles on those tires, but probably the last time I underpay for something with TDF on it. They were ok for a while...

well out on the bike... don't get me wrong I feel "Ok" it's just I get out there and I feel like somebody has been mentally kicking me all day... I don't work 16 hours a day because My life is all kitty cats and and rainbows.
I guess sparkles too.

In college I had a party at my house, this couple that were "friends of friends" came over, and I fell asleep. woke up later that night and I found The wife Kicking her Husband over and over again.... "WHY WON'T YOU FUCK ME! ALL THOSE GUYS OUT THERE WILL! *whomp* *whomp* "WHY WON'T....." *whomp* *whomp*...


ever since that has been my nightmare. Be married and fall asleep only to wake up with my wife kicking me repeatedly

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Yes Mr Missionary the rules apply to you too.

had a miserable ride... I blame it on Jesus... or Pie...

You know I sit down thinking I'm going to write up something Brilliant... I start banging away and ... Feels like the balloon is flat.

See I have to have the framework of what I want to say, then break it into some nice funny observations.

I tend to be so tired I just want to bang it all out... no Nuance, no Joy...

So I'm riding, and I look up and have 2 hefty weight Missionaries Bearing down on me... and of course they think I should thread the needle between their asses as they come. I point to the other side of the road... Both of them Fucking wave at me. I pipe up "You ride on the Right side of the road Kids!"

Not like a cop is going to stop them...or if the fuckers run into me and ruin my bike will the cop find them Libel..... So it would be best if they Follow the god damn rules.

But with a 10 mph headwind.. my spirit was broken rather fast.... either that or that I ate at the buffet on Friday... had cookies on Saturday... and pizza for Sunday lunch....

Time for more bike friendly food!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Let the Demons Chase!

Well now.... Seems like I let them catch me a little bit.....

But I hear... What you do is Take a bite of a hotdog and ATTACK!!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Seen this show before!

Same old story... Same old show!

This week has been a thing It all started this weekend with this nasty feeling that... Just one of those nasty feelings you get, It's bullshit but. Thinking that something was going to go bad can certainly Create it. I absolutely don't believe in hocus pocus!... but I do know that sometimes you have to listen to a nagging Voice in your head that says "Watch out" That and most of the things that went wrong this week Were Well out of my Control, and Very Random.

With all of that, and a "Return of The mop"... I had a conversation about how I " Play the Mop ", and it's not like I've been at this Again! For the most I've been hit and miss at "Playing the Mop" since May. In my defence is sort of gives me ... well the blog can be my Training Coach! It reminds me to ride, and sort of gives me someone to answer to.

Of course then there is the Ungodly Terror I raise out there Among the masses... My Nebulous Cypher Enigmatic...... Nonsense!.....

And what is the big question of "The Mop!!!"??? Do we remember?... Do I remember?....


and in the course of this I also have to ask.....

is it because, again I'm "Playing the Mop!" that i'm asking these questions.

All on a Saturday, When I honestly should be Cranking out some work.

And not Mentally Masturbating Existentialism!


What a day... Or "Cause he has Floyd all over his face"

I'll have all of you know... I started this "Social network" racing Coverage... I'm OG... and Ya'll are just following a Previously Blazed Trail...

But What have I done for you Lately....

No Pictures. Sorry, I have a tendency to simplify my life these days, and it was nice to just enjoy the race without trying to get pictures!

I will have T-Bird Know... I started the second round of applause and shout-Outs on the Podium... That was me buddy!

Spent most of the morning Screaming from my chair!!!! T-BIRD!!!!!! and doing the same on Twitter... I also spent all morning obsessing about why people don't put HashTags in their Tweets for the TOU... and why I felt the need to retweet them....I mean how long was it going to take till I was a total Twitter Snob... I mean my learning curve on this crap is Through the roof!

The funny things that happened today. Well I decided not to Activly engage people with my shit eating Grin. Especially since people say it's kind of Creepy... but strangely. I'm just doing my thing, and Suddenly there is Gardie jackson... Or Ryan Barrett or Stephen Flahut Scheffield(I proly misspelled that, sorry dude but I'm not into looking it up).

Like I've said before, the only thing more embarrassing than asking "Are you The Mop?" is saying "Hi! I'm The Mop". But I swear Burke had his eye on me... It was kreepy... or maybe it was the kreepy on me oozing off, and Burke was just trying to keep the Kreepy in sight!

It's funny, I'm not talkative.. but get me going at a bike race! I'll tell you everything. I start talking about Sleevie(mike booth)'s Tatoos I talk about Burke's Dog... BLA BLA BLA BLA. I tell stories about calling Ben J Maynes a Wanker!.

Kind of lame that when Zabrisky hit the line he looked like one of the Thousand Warriors... and I think I have that Jersey BTW... Classic Red!
Ok.. .I stole this from podium insight What a great site BTW...

I told the people around me that to see dave cross the line they had to find the guy in the plane red Jersey and Black Shorts....

So there is this old guy at the line, and he has the rider numbers and as they cross he looks them up. What he needed to do was ask me who it was who was crossing. of course there are about half the Local Riders I can't recognize by a Quick Glimpse. Now Dave passed through After Floyd.. but As Dave passed Nobody noticed, and it was only the normal applause, then I piped up "Go Zabriskie".. Suddenly everyone is like!!! Oh That was Dave, and they all got excited and cheered.

It's been Tough Dave!! Good to see even a Great Champion can be off a little! GO!!! DAVE!!

So... as time went on this old guy was getting more and more frustrated, because he also couldn't look them up fast enough.. nor did he know who he was looking at.

He also gave that standard line about how Spectator unfriendly Bike Racing is. And we all Know that... I mean I was Psyched to catch it by Twitter all morning, it was kind of satisfying.. even though those simple facts seemed to sneak away "What is the Lead time? Chase time? Peloton time?" and "who is in the Lead?Chase?Peloton?"... but I digress.

So.. What really frustrated him was when Floyd Rolled by, and I shouted out "GO Floyd" and said "That is Floyd Landis"... Since I didn't have the sheet and the numbers,
He said "How do you know that."
I said. "Well he had That stupid Goatee and his face had Floyd all over it."

he said "What!"

I told him "Well Why don't you run down to the end of the line and say hello, I bet he is a nice guy! "

he gave me an angry look and stomped away.

you know that old people can't process Vitamin B right! The get Super Stressed and have to take Vitamin B shots, but since it's water soluble it doesn't last longer than a few days....

So basically that is why Angry old men stand on their Lawns and shake their Fists at the Traffic
BTW if we don't realize it, this day will go down in Infamy, We will be telling our Grand Kids about the day that Burke Swindlehurst BLEW The Crap out of the Tour Of Utah in a Mad Breakaway at the Gun, and the entire Nort american Peloton Chased him for 4 hours Dragging their lame assees in for nearly an hour, in packs of 2 and 3.....


Friday, August 21, 2009

What a Week!

I had a nasty feeling this week.... Ugly to shake those ugly feelings... but it was a good warning.

All this Heath care nonsense... it is a great example of what is wrong with us.

Both the insurance and medical industry are these Ridiculous positive Spiraling self serving ... Sky Nets so to speak just trying to go for world domination.

I was going off about what Middle class is, Pardon me if I don't look the numbers up again. but it's roughly 35k-57K This includes health care... and that is Household income.

the insurance cost per house hold is 13K.

This means that the amount of money people bring in, that are "Middle Class" is 22k-44K. It works out on the low end... One breadwinner making $10 per hour, or 2 Breadwinners making $10 per hour. Or One person making $22.00 per hour... of course including benefits/health care.

Interesting that that is middle class, $400 per week or $1600 per month.

hmmm that $15K dream isn't all that little now is it... I will bet there are some Non Middle class people that make less.

So... my bad feeling... I had a call from someone trying to "Feel Me out" trying to see if my most hated Client had any chance of becoming a Client again. It's crazy, I've had them try and feel me out a couple times in the past 5 years since I dumped them.

What is it about a "most hated" either person or Client... that they keep trying to come back for a taste... It's like "Well I took advantage of you once... sucker... I'm sure I can do it again."

sort of like a child abuser can smell out a victim...

I Really hate that client..... and it has set me off for days ...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

In the land of spoons, Suprise... Everybody is a spoon

Damn! I love to have White Hot Bike racing in town. I also am about ready to Tear up because I'm doubting I'll be able to check it all out. Which is an Absolute Heart Break!!

I was thinking about what I should do for the ol' TOFU.

Those who have followed me, know I sort of mess with that Razors edge between Avoiding making things about me, and my own natural Narcissism.

Not to get off on Politics, But for the most part people have their heads up their ass on Healthcare/insurance. And its because for the most part you don't realize how expensive it is; because your employer pays it. Then because you have never made a serious claim, you don't realize how much your insurance company has no intention to pay. Its a Heads they win Tails you lose. And when you realize that incomes haven't gone up in 10 years but cost of insurance has. So you did get a Raise... you got to keep your health Insurance.

But it's all good as long as you keep what you have Right? Cause Change is Scary! And We would hate to see the insurance companies profits hurt. It's not possible that we could cut all these middlemen out and Reduce costs, and cover everybody! Hell no.... Let us just stick with buying the product that INSURANCE COMPANIES HAVE NO INTENTION OF PAYING.. they don't make money by paying claims!.

But I digress....

I think for the most part I'm going to Keep Quiet for TOFU, There seems to be too much of a willingness in our age of social media, to make things more about the authors, and not the subject.

But good luck to everybody; Burke Louder Todd DZ Dave Mike Chase nate alex jesse Cameron Ben... Etc... sorry if you are an etc....

and not to badmouth the social media guys... cause keep it comming cause I'll be stuck at the workstation for most the stages.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


had a nice ride yesterday.. which I don't mean, this road construction is out of control. They don't realize it's not easy to go around construction and add 3 or 4 miles to a bike ride. This Machine that tears up the road and puts about 400 places for either a pinch flat or just to shake the shit out of you and your bike...

Then when they re-Tar them.. and throw all the gravel over the road and suddenly you are Rim Deep in lose gravel, on a road with no shoulder and has 2 thin lanes...

Yep it's something. I dropped off some Gifts to the T-Bird. Told him to tell Tiff that the Yard looks nice. Also you can split Ground cover and then if you try and keep Zero Scape watered it will fill in. Also Most Zero Scape needs to be watered for the first year so the roots can go deep enough to really Thrive.

Then if the Thyme grows you cut them in half and spread them out, so then you can keep going till it's all filled in... but you want them to thrive... so they could use some water....

or Give it time.. Thyme LOL... crack myself up.

For the most part... I'd guess we need to let our local guys get into their Full Zen Racing Form, not give them too many distractions. Be sure not to let our Manic ooze over to them.... unless they are on the Road.

it's not the energy you spend, it's the energy you save....

or some such bullshit.

Sunday, August 16, 2009


I like there to be a new reward of some musing... or something.... My mind for a large part is a disaster... Fatigue... Stress... Like someone pulling on my Heart or Colon...

had a disaster ride... I'm strong.. but I swear I need to.... I just don't feel like I'm one with my bike...

I keep thinking I need to tear it apart and put it back together... Spend 6 hours getting the pedals in the perfect position....

bla bla bla

sorry about the bad reward... so with the bike, so with my writing..

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Empty blog space

I just know this is going to be a lame post. There is this point on twitter where you put in 3 "Tweets"WTF... with this Twitter.....

but you put together three posts and realize that you would be better on the blogger.

4 flats today on a 3 hour ride... Pushed it to about 4.5. Had to patch Twice.... I didn't even want to ride today... just figured I needed to get something in... and there it went...

With all the rain I couldn't even sit on grass to change them, ended up on the curb.

And one of them, I came rolling down hill at 30-40 and hit some shit on the road and tire go boom...Couldn't even remember which break was my rear since the front had gone so soft, so quickly......

Good lord...

I'm not even sure I tried with this post......

Thursday, August 13, 2009

RootBeer Consumerisum

Decided after my long week.... and I get a little repreave right now from work... I'm BEAT!! no ride for me today... I caught a little nap instead.

I have this "Hell's Kitchen", addiction I havn't seen this weeks episode, so... that is running as I type this.

but I decided I should go take a walk and get a rootbeer. here is the trouble with the rootbeer. I go out and for .40 I can get a Can of rootbeer, but if I do that I'll proly drink it before I get home or out of the parking lot.
So I can get a big rootbeer for like $2 ... Or I can go to the grocery store and get a 2 liter bottle for .79...

Then of course I have over a thousand calories of soda in the fridge...

Yep.. not as interesting a post as I'd thought

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

hmmm maybe one more hour of work...

I'm not sure I should be doubted that I have almost Zero time.
today went 4am to 6:30
bike ride
Dinner W/ MSNBC news

Now I need to see if I can crank out another hour of work before bed, or go to bed or bed get up ASAP and do more work.

Some of this is why some of my writing is so shitty IMHO. There just isn't anything but exhaustion on my mind...

there is a point where one just can't keep going and your brain is mush... have to rebuild neurons.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Ok... Agressive Asshole

I'm going to organize some music while I do this... I have so much crap, I even have stuff I've never listened to, and I need to clean it up.... and it is a good way to start my week, after work and the bike ride.

So, there was a time when.... When I was a kid I was a fairly intense kid. I also wasn't raised on T.V. Until I was 8 or so. Living on a ranch with Miles and miles to explore like Huck fin... Well I don't have that ADD most of you have. I've talked about it before, how most of you... and many of the younger and Gen Y.... DRIVE ME UP A WALL. Because you can't seem to do the same thing for more than 10 minutes....

You are T.V. Babies, those short bursts of 7 minute data from tv broken up by 30 seconds of Someone screaming at you to buy some crap, had destroyed your brain... it's why twitter rocks and Blogger sucks... Cause all you have is 140 Characters in you. "I'm taking a Crap" "Lance Lays down" #supermac18

and While I'm at it... This Jon and Kate Goslin thing... I can totally see why he dumped her ass. It's one thing to marry a Bitch, but then to have her Screaming at you about the 20 Kids she popped out... and that she dresses her hair up to look like a Peacock or some shit.... Both of them don't realize they arn't 20 anymore.... But he is no 'Catch'... And as a Dad.. I'd buy a Tranquilizer Gun.. and he doesn't have to use that on Kate every time.. he can use it on those damn kids... Perfectly Justifiable to own a Shock Collar when you have that many kids... Seriously there should be some Rule that if you have more than 5 kids within 5 years of each other... You should be able to use "Extreme Measures".

I'm just saying!!!

I would think that most of you, through some minor Interaction or another. May have caught on that I can Seriously focus on something... I guess you could classify it as some Obsessive Tendencies. What I'm getting at is that, if you are the Focus of my attention... It's not as Pleasant as you would think.

And for the most part, if I get going... I can kind of stick the Knife in and Turn it Just Right.... and do it just to amuse myself.

For most of us, who have Dated.... Well, Let me just say 3 weeks of intense focus is no way to seduce woman, in fact it gets just down right Creepy. At a young age, I realized that I had no choice but to slow play Woman. ... But still there is sort of this Lazer beam thing that goes off... and it just isn't a Joy for anyone. I'm not saying I go all "Say Anything" on them... It's just hard to explain.

I'm not even excluding other types of relationships, Even friends or... Relatives... I guess it's sort of like I'm indifferent, until I'm not.... And I kid you not Even if I work for you, It's all fun and games until you tell me how I could run my life or do my job better... and you are about to get an earful.

I had a friend I used to work for, and periodically he would call with projects. about 3 years ago, I told him... "Now I'm getting older, and I can't fuck around on these projects like I used to. If we start this project, we are going to Finnish it... and if you start fucking around and delay things and drag it out. I'm done!" Well he didn't take me seriously, and after working on a project for 2 weeks we were called off. He Called me back up wanted me back on the project... I told him "sorry! you knew the rules, I explained them before we started, I explained it in the middle. You want to fuck around, you find someone else."....

Well he lays down all this shit about how I owe him, and how I'm screwing the project... bla bla bla. Well that was it, I layed down for about 20 minutes about all the laws he breaks. How I could have him Fined by the labor Commission. How He acts like a 14 year old boy. And how he could never find anyone with my skills to work like that. The way he treats me like I'm stupid, and I just let him get away with it because I don't want to call his Bullshit Card. How he will never find anyone to do what he wants until he pays 4X the money. How his skills are a fucking joke, he doesn't understand even the most rudimentary engineering principles. How everyone in the industry thinks he is a fucking joke, and can only pull down out of town projects because they don't know him or his Lack of Follow through, and the only Clients he can keep are ones I deal with, because I spend most my time mothering his ass mostly because he acts like he is 12 years old... and is Completely full of shit, and to not even try to make a phone call to me, cause he is fucking Done....

Just saying you don't want to get on my bad side, I'm not going to burn down hour house, but if you step up to me... I'll shut your ass down.

I don't talk about this, my Grandfather used to go into one of the magna bars with all the Copper miners, and was willing to kick any one's ass who wanted some. Just saying.... I come from an intense blood line.

So.... at about 18 I found this little trick... this sort of magic mellowing trick... This sort of thing I could ingest and all the Crap that goes through my head... all the Demons that Chase me all day, well it slowed them down. For about 10 years or so, that sort of kept me from tearing things apart... but... at one point I decided to give all that up.

and well... Now it's back to Aggressive Asshole.... I had a friend who was 2 hours late Just one too many times, and after Repeated warnings, didn't listen. Decided to hold me up one day, so I could stand Waiting for 2 hours... I haven't talked to them since. It's not holding a Grudge, but when someone talks about how busy they are, and that is why they are late. Not realizing that You are busy too, and that at one point you are just too busy to wait for someone for the 4thousandth time.... I'm not only too busy to hear how busy you are, But how if instead of Getting to dinner, they just show up to the Restaurant and wait for you until they get sick of it. And if I ever miss them, I'll just go stand in a Street or something for 2 hours, and remember all the good times.....

I've talked about how much I hate the phone, Girl Friend of mine used to want to call me every day or every other day and just Chat.... After a few days of it, That was it I quit answering the phone. Either you want to come over or not... and either we are going to plan to do something on the weekend or not.... But the Hell if I'm going to spend an hour on the phone everyday.

This was my schedule today.
Up at 2am... Personal stuff till 2:30
Breakfast 2:30-3.
Work 3-6am
I made Cornbread for 30 minutes.
Work 6:30 through 2:30PM
That is 11 hours of work and it's only 2:30...
I took a nap for 15 minutes.
Work 3-5pm
Ride the bike 5-6pm
6:30 work and watch the news- 7:30.

now I'm warn out, so I decided to take the rest of the evening off and listen to music and Bang at the keyboard for an hour or so. I'll be done with this about 9:30, I'll probably read some research papers that I'm trying to get through, if not I have a couple books about economics.

at one point I'll fall asleep and wake up at 2 or 3am... and start again...

So I guess what I'm getting at is that if you step into my Realm... I look at you and decide if you need to be Fixed or Dealt with... I throw you through the washing Machine or whatever... and you are done... anything else... any "Can you just stop for a while and....."

Nope... Seriously... the Daemons are after me... and if I stop they catch up.. and it just takes to much time to get them off of me......

So I guess those daemons are just going to have to chase!!
I hope you know what movie the above is from. Maybe I died in an LSD experiment 15 years ago, and I still haven't figured it out.

... I don't know. WHAT THE FUCK! sandros... Fucking inhaler??..... My Repertoire of Asthma inhaler movies just isn't that long!

See.. that is an example... that is just me at normal Volume... Sorry Sandros it just isn't that big a deal.... it's just me without my good behavior on.

If any of you are more familiar with my writing, you realize that every once in a while the sand in my fingers just slips through... My personal Tolerance meter for most people just doesn't go that high.

I was working for someone, and one of the employees stepped completely out of line with me.. I had to shut them down... I never understand why at work you aren't so busy working that you can get involved in a bunch of bullshit. But the boss came to me and asked me if I wanted them Fired, I said it was up to them, that that wasn't my Call... but that what that employee did, reflected on the Boss, and that was what I was concerned about. So I was very concerned about what the boss was going to do about it. The boss gave them a Warning. I said, "Ok, that is fine. But if this is the kind of workplace they wanted it was going to cost them Twice as much to have me contract for them." .. They said it wasn't acceptable and went out to find someone else, who wanted 4x as much... After that I told them I wanted 5 times as much.... And trust me .. I work so hard i'm a deal at Twice that Figure.... but nope hire someone to nickle and dime you and milk every project for ever dollar they can get.


I was on a project once and busted out a calculator and laid out a flow chart of this project, The Project manager said "You can't bust through all that math and come out with the right numbers and have it work."
I said, "the hell I can't. "
He called the owner of the company, he didn't think it could be done the way I had done it.... All I'm talking about here is coming up with a Clear plan that lays out the settings in advance and uses math to optimise the system... but the Owner said "Oh that won't work, you just have to do it manually as you go."

2 days later after we laid it all out and went through the settings Manually.. then spent half a day debugging the first 2 systems, which were wrong... I pulled out my Chart... Said "Try this"... Everything Dialed in Perfectly, once we ditched the manual Crap and went to the Model. 6 hours later it was all Ready to go. 20 min of tweaking it was done. The Project manager told me "he was sure it wouldn't work." I said that that was because he was a moron and hadn't paid any attention in math Class.. he said "but the boss agreed it couldn't be done." ... I said "Ya, that is because he is a fucking moron too."

next project I had the Project manager's Job.... they begged me for the equations... I said "my teaching rate is 100X my salary."

I was listening to some utah economics professors a few days ago, talking about health care. One was saying "Well if people don't pay for it, then it will be more expensive because they will have all these unneeded procedures." Ok dumbfuck... Explain to me why I want to break a leg! or why I want to sit and wait 4 hours to get an X-Ray or 6 hours of my day to get an MRI. Where is the Joy in Getting a Chlamydia test... Had the doc grab your nuts and check for a Hernia?.... Every had your Prostate checked?..... GOOD TIMES!!! sign me up for 2.... And this DUMB BITCH teaches at the University of Utah.


What really kills me is that most of these people just find it easy... they just roll around in this Haze of Narcissism with their head up their ass. And it's all golden, and you need to give it to them... what ever it is... It's theirs and they deserve it.... Like Jon and Kate.. think they are fucking 20 and Pimp their family off to TLC... When it's like looking at a Family of Dinosaurs in a Cage! WTF did you think it was a good idea to have 8 kids... and the first 4 weren't enough.... Mostly because if kate had more kids she wouldn't have to get a job! 4 more kids... or a Job... hmmm tough choice. I know I'll have 4 kids, spawning like a Puppy. Then spend all day whining about how fucking hard it all is, and need a show on TLC just to pay for them...... That is the shit Healthcare insurance shouldn't pay for... Erections and so that you can have 4 fucking kids... It may be fine if you don't have kids... but Shit... if you already have a few... Just let it Be! And if you can't get an erection.. lets start with no more fucking potato chips soda's and all the chemicals in the Meat....

enough said... there are a few people who can't fucking stand me! and for good reason. It's part of why this blog is easy for me, as opposed to interacting with people.


Sunday ride took it out of me, Spent the rest of the day Sleeping and eating. Catching up on the week of sleep I never get....

hmmm other stories of ....

Time for coffee and Omelet

Sunday, August 09, 2009


it's 6am... I just finished the morning carb load, it's all digesting. Trying to get the coffee in me so I can get the .... er other important pre ride Bodily function going.... Rough to be getting old.

Damn looks like I'm getting better at writing 140 characters.

but it needs to get a bit warmer before I can hit the road.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Hello Virginia!

I've been starting some emails as an imaginary conversation with someone named Virginia. I discussed this with one of the Victims. I wondered if it was that I was having a discussion with Virginia Wolf... They suggested that it was more probable that it was as in "yes Virginia, there is no Santa Clause".
Seemed more probable, since I've never read any Virginia Wolf... But it's possible that I was just having a conversation with what I imagine 'Would be Virginia Wolf'...

.... My word... what a dizzying intellect...

Well, That may be good enough... I was going to post about what an aggressive asshole I can be... but maybe another time.

Monday, August 03, 2009

what to say what to say

I went out and pulled one of my hard Routes on Sunday... it's hot again.

But... UGH!!! I need to put that route into heavy rotation, it's only 2 hours... If I don't steal fruit on the way back. So... some of the apples are starting to come on and Pears. we should have Peaches. Apricots are just about gone. The plumbs are out there, but most the trees are the shitty Variety.

But... it should get me into much harder shape... but... It's just a long lonely road.

But arn't they all.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

DateLine 4am

Saturday was a bust....

I may need to kick in the vitamin B

4am... I remembered that most my kit is not dry.... There is that step where I put stuff in the wash... I can pull that off, it's remembering an hour later to put it in the dryer...

but I digress... Or just move randomly Sideways...

I'd like to get a couple more hours of sleep... Light sleeper it's called, cept I may be exhausted later... any chance for me to get good sleep I take.

I'd love to sleep and get up at about 7... put on the freshly dry kit and hit the road... I'm a little concerned I could be derailed... or progressing to de-railed... Heart rate says I'm ok... but I've seen some signs I should be concerned about... Mostly that I rode the other day and didn't push the heart above about 80% and spent a ton of time at 60%....


I leave you with a scene from "Things to do in denver when you're dead"

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Sir.... Sir.... I wouldn't do that!!!

out on the ride today... I feel awful on Fridays so.... it wasn't much of a ride. I pull up on an intersection.
"Hey, Your Gas Cap and fuel door are open"
I point at his rear quarter panel, "Your Fuel door is open and the gas cap is hanging out"

"Oh... Shit, I should fix that."

Ok... I can see fuel door but Gas Cap...

He gets out of his car... Cigarette in hand.

"jesus... I wouldn't close my gas cap with a Smoke in my hand"....

"Oh... you are right... Damn..."
It's surprising most of you fuckers get through a day....

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Adventures of Cycleberry Finn

For those that Follow me on Twitter(Jebus I hate Twitter). Today seemed like a great day to put in some miles, so I figured... Leave early and put in some miles. bring a book and read at a park.

I always struggle with what to eat on the road, I hate stopping at convenience stores. It's just a bitch just to get some water and some Bike snacks. I have some frozen pancakes in the freezer. I figured I'd try and put some jelly on a pancake and take it on the bike ride, that and my usual Banana and... a few other things.... So; a book, a banana, a pancake with Peanut butter and Jelly.. This Ashtray.... The lamp.... The Paddle Game
and I was off, Like Huck Finn, Pockets full of crap ready for a long ride...

I felt good even though I was about 20 pounds heavier. As I rolled down the road, I kept noticing that that Awful Puncture weed

Tribulus Terrestis, BTW has been claimed to boost testosterone and has been found to act as a aphrodisiac in animals.... also used as a diuretic and nervine.

As I rode I could see the vines slowly reaching into the road like a giant Octopus,File:Moving Octopus Vulgaris 2005-01-14.ogg As I was getting very nervous and avoided some close calls, Suddenly there was literally a pile of Vegetative Crap in the road... I imagine some "Clean Up" crew decided to leave massive piles of crap left along the roadside.... Well Enough said... about 1 mile to the park of my destination I was hot footing it under a softening Tire.

As I switched out the tire, I checked the other Wheel and it looked fine..... But we all know "Blown tires tend to happen in Two's.

Let me just say that this story is about half as interesting as it was in my head before I wrote it... Maybe I'm rushing and should take a break.... Should I let you know I'm going to step away for a while? WTF not...

Well this spoile my perfect afternoon to sit and read... I sat for a few minutes with my book and decided it was better to move on.... After eating my pancake. Well.... How did it Digest? you ask? a few days ago I managed to drink way too much water, then I ran out of Juice for recovery, ended up using Milk... HOLY GASTRIC DISTRESS!!! I was in Pain for 2 hours, and just layed there.... I guess my point is the Peanut butter was a little rough, but I think could be gotten used to. I have one of my Illconcieved theories that if I put myself into Gastric distress I'd be less suceptible to it or I'd at least be able to saybiggest-cheeseburger-4.jpg image by kimmyqt
"Gastric Distress" you don't know Gastric Distress... I once ate 4 cheesburgers on an 80 mile ride!!! SO.... You know....

Well to avoid those same roads a second time I managed to try and Beat out some new routes... of course. Why when you beat out a new route, it's more likely that you run into the same problem you had last time you looked for a new route in the same place... and you end up comming to the same conclusion you did last time you tried...... "YOU JUST CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE!".

I know I'm only 30 blocks away and yet... I have to go on some roads that you wouldn't even want to walk on.......

Finaly I get out of the Fucking Shit in the hinterland of Rose Park! and I'm 10 miles from home and know all the roads. Just a long sprint home when!!!!! Yep You guessed it... the other tire starts going soft...

Well another day another Tube!!!

And yes they come in Two's....

Even though I didn't quite get as many miles in.... Sitting under a Tree
listening to Blond on Blond.... even changing tires... Isn't all that bad.
and for your pleasure.
Girl with the leopard skin pill box hat!

Rider down...

Well... had my first fall... and it was at a light one.

You never know how that shit happens, all I know is I was sitting there, I started to fidget at the light. Suddenly the bike is falling over and pulling me with it.

I did decide the proper response to such a situation is to stand up and do a Victory Salute
I think the last time I was dry humping the Tarmack was a cold day a few years ago... Light wouldn't chance and I had to go over and push the fucking button. Nothing is more charming than trying to turn 160 degrees at a dead stop on an irregular surface.

That is my excuse and I'm sticking with it. That is certainly one of those moments where all the people in cars around you say "I don't understand that sport.... Why would you strap yourself to some infernal Contraption and push yourself down a road at 30 MPH"

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

House of the Midnight Taco!

The stress of riding and work has me this week. I don't intend to whine... It just has me. Every day still on the bike, but the legs have nothing. I may have to do some research figure out what else I can do. The Brain is burning all the calories, Wish I could just eat for the head.... That sounded fucked up.

So, I umn had the Hebie Gebies and had to take a midnight walk. Out there sorting out the.... whatever.

It's one of those times where suddenly you look around and realize that you are out with the "I've got to have a Midnight Taco!" Crowd. Yep.... White minivan 300 pounds Can't figure out that at midnight you have to use the drive through at Taco Bell...

Monday, July 27, 2009

They ate some brownies and now they have the Noid!!!'s called being paranoid...

Step away from the Redwings game!

Sunday, July 26, 2009


managed a little of the boogyman today... I've given up my Sunday FakeUmentaries on discovery channel and the like, no more watching truckers change a tire for an hour.....
So then I'm left on Sunday to sit and stew in my own demons.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


And Sleevie Is KILLING IT this year!!!

GO Sleevie!!!

Ramble Ramble tumbleweed

I'm trying to spare you the rambling post, i've been so good at.

I still feel like hell on the road, and Pain just about everywhere. I did clean the bike yesterday, should have about 1 pound less Road Grime. Made me want to pull the whole thing apart and give it a good once over. Just what I need mid season... A whole new "bike Drama".

You know... Figure out if my pain is just the normal breakdown build up of getting fit.
It's been all salads all the time, but finally I actually ate some proper food thursday. But I think I need to Keep on the Lawn Clippings, and the long rides for a few weeks.
Who am I kidding! I make a mean Salad!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Tired Pluss some

Coach Ryan, who is not my coach. If you saw my form, it would confirm, he is not my coach. But after whining a few days ago about the heat, he had a reminder that 90 and sunny isn't perfect but it's damn close.

So I wen't out and a dog tried to eat me, but I got in a ton of good miles. Then today I made a fun run to frontage road, see if he could catch me, or see if I could leave after he did, and not get found....

I was riding up the river valley to frontage, saying "this is almost the dumbest ride I've ever done, I have no intent to go south or go up suncrest... WTF am I doing"

so, Tired... Just checked the heart rate, and after Many more miles in the past 3 days than I've done this season... The old heart rate is 60, Hopefully it will go down.

but I get home, have dinner and recovery.... Sit in my office chair, fall asleep, then move to lay in bed and watch T.V.... Fall Asleep then put the covers on, Fall Asleep till 10pm....

hmmmm..... that isn't a very interesting story....

Hey I tried!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


A week of salads and fish.... I think the tank is empty.... that and... I keep skrewing with my bike position, one would think I'd go get fit, but it seems to me that it takes a few days to sort out if the position is correct.

and... Since I'm an eternal Tweaker!!!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Doh! i'm that driver

The other day, I'm pulling out of the driveway. pull to the street, to make my way onto the road. I'm Fucking with the Radio, It's hot. sorting out the air conditioner..... The whole bit.

road clears and I pull out...

as I do, Sure enough... there is a runner waiting for me to pull out... Cause she knew.... I had my head up my ass, and was ready to kill her, if I got the chance.....

FUCK!..... I'm that Driver...

I don't drive much, maybe 2 times a week at most. When Gas got expensive, I just decided I was sick of it, I do much less than 20 miles per week in the car... Groceries.. I'll even walk most of the time....

that is my first lame excuse....

Don't get me wrong.... I was completely at fault... COMPLETELY... I was, I guess we all do, but analyzing my "Risk Management" on my traffic rule following and even trying to convince myself that Confrontation with drivers may not be the best thing. Even though a dose of "you almost killed me" is something some drivers need.....
On the bike, I notice that many runners run on the wrong side of the road, and maybe I even read it, but there is even a camp of runners that think that it's the best thing. Just as there may be a few cyclists... Only... I think in cycling it's become fairly clear that you need to ride with traffic, and not against it.... because for the most part drivers don't expect to find somebody riding up the wrong side of the street.

I would think that would apply to runners too!..

but to each their own, it is their safety at risk.....

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Same as it ever was!

The goal early season was to get some more aggressive Cleat position. I gave in and moved them back It's like it used to be now. I've also managed to get back to the old diet...

I had some Halibut and some salad, for dinner... I was like "this is it" and I guess it was. that and my omelet this morning. That has been going on for a few days now.

but it would be good to hit some kind of reasonable cycling weight. My body fat was coming down but the weight was maintaining.... may have to run some sessions of "fat Camp"

and I'm starting to feel better... Well that and the Creatine.

On the ride I was a bit.... Knackered... but It was an easy day, tomorrow will be the test. but I totally drilled it today, average speed on flat 20mph for an hour... And the watts were there.

I'm not sure the cleats are even.... lol, that will be for tomorrow....

Like you Fucking Care!!!

so... the point was...

Jrad is being quiet,
Tbird is gearing up for Tofu
Ryan is struggling with the 15k Dream
Sandy is ... Struggling with the Waving issue.
Louder is Nostalgic
others are... as others are....
Lance is trying to win the tour.
Levi is disappointed again

The mop is stretching his Moral and philosophical... Muscles... to near annoyance....

It's like the world is back in Redux...

Good lord help us all...

Lets hope things improve and don't just stay the same....