Sunday, May 30, 2010

Never watch a cyclist eat a dogunut

30 days of babble... day number Eight Million Three Hundred Sixty Five.

I put in a few miles today. Marina and home. First time out there this year. It was nice, nobody was out there, lots of 'Civilians'. I've been trying to rethink my eating plans. With the bonking training, I've been trying to time it so that I eat early, and if I want to run into the Wall the last 30 minutes, I can time it.

I rolled out without the Chamois Cream! I needed it on suncrest. My rule is anything over 40 miles. Strangely.... and to be perfectly honest. I went to get it, and found myself Facebooking... etc.. Out there, I totally waved at everyone. Chatted with everyone. Hopefully we all know how important it is for cyclists that are starting to get a little recognition from the more veteran riders... A little acceptance. It may keep them in the Super Suit, and not give up. Especially when we aren't sure that we look like dumb asses in our Kit.... Seriously... we all look like dumb asses in our kit... And have you seen those Helmets! I think the only thing dumber would be to stand at the bike shop, Look in the mirror and say "Does this look dorky?"

With my food management, I pulled one cliff bar and ate it on the way. then at the marina I drank a coke. On the way back before I hit the hill on 5600 or the first gas station I hit. I went in and picked up a doughnut... Oh! my weakness for doughnuts!!! As I got out of the store, I shoved it in my mouth... the Creamy Filling dripping down my chin. I got to my bike, wiping up the filling from my chin. I look up. There is one woman in a Jeep staring at me. A woman putting gas in her car, and a third woman who rolled in on a bullet bike with her boy!.... All of them staring at me.

"Never Watch a Cyclist Eat a Doughnut!", I bellowed and shoved the rest of it in my Pie Hole. All three laughed.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Memorial day

30 days of content... day 9342.65

I'm exhausted, I need better sleep. Memorial Weekend, time to remember the fallen. Strange the rituals we come up with. I saw a family who put out a basketball hoop and a teddy bear.. the whole bit. Elaborate flowers, built into an entire bed to cover a grave. People who go out and trim the lawn around the marker. Rinse and soap it down, a nice polish of wax.... etc...

I gave a nice smile to a woman who was headed out to a grave... She wasn't happy... I guess some people see it as indentured servitude to the dead. I like to look at the dates that they died, and remember what was going on on those dates. "Oh! this person died when Nixon was in office. " This child never even saw the Stock market crash of 1929"... I also think that many people are opting to be Cremated these days. Maybe we will have a new ritual, Put out a picture of the person on memorial day. Either that or we will just start to forget the dead.

(Quick note... I want to work up some good posts, and I'm exhausted. Maybe with some time to reflect.)

Friday, May 28, 2010


30 days of content 26

We are getting there... it feels like we are coming to the end of this 30 day drama, and there are no more tricks in the legs... Just need them to get me through and it is Friday, and I have had a very full week. I'd love to sleep in.... won't happen... even "The Mop" is tired of his nonsense on friday!

I think... I'm getting this one in, just under the wire.

So very busy today... I did so many things, I can't even list them. I didn't make it on the bike, but the weather had me... it was raining at my usual ride time.. and I ate and then did more work.

I attacked, somebody attacked, I countered, they countered.. somebody won.

My chest of drawers... is lemony fresh!!!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rally Mop Rally!

#30 days of content 25
Spic and Span... I wonder where that phrase comes from.

The product took the name from a common phrase meaning extremely clean, "spick and span", which was a British idiom first recorded in 1579, and used shortly afterwards in Samuel Pepys's diary. A spick was a spike or nail, a span was a very fresh wood chip, and thus the phrase meant clean and neat and all in place, as in being nailed down. The "span" in the idiom also is part of "brand span new", now more commonly rendered "brand spanking new", and has nothing to do with the words "Spanish" or "Hispanic".
I swear, I'm almost there on the Kitchen and Bathroom. I still need to fix some broken grout... etc. Seriously, Every project I've put off for years, is getting cranked out. ... I guess this is all part of the "Shit is going to change... Or it's going to get Broke"(The poor usage of the English language is intended.) I'm always playing it by the skin of my teeth. I feel like i'm ... I just don't feel like I've been as attentive to your feelings as I would like to be.... You know, I'm caught up in scrubbing and mowing and trying to get the garden sorted out and work. The bad part is all the chemicals, they keep building up in my system.. and it's messing with me. It has my mojo off kilter.

I sit down tonight and look through the blogs, and there is just some amazing stuff out there I've been so caught up in my own Cleaning Haze... and Honestly.. some Vial mojo, which I guess i can blame on the chemicals... but... I'm happy to own it. But I feel I've missed all this great work going on out there... So many hours, not enough Allons-y

I did a small ride today.. I want to puke when i'm out on the bike, I'm running 70-80% and my legs just Burn, and are empty. I did have some nice sustained 20mph uphill efforts today. I would love to put in some real miles. I think i'm done with the heavy duty stuff though. Now just need to push them to the finish line....

I have the worst attempt at a post... Honestly, if I put some work into it... It may get better... I think it has a strong finish... but I'm working on it.

Everybody is perfect, but could use a little work.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Guess who is back?

This is Pre 'Coffee date Woman'... the "I'm busy Woman", With Manners BTW. She is in a "I like having you around, kind of thing.

I like having me around.... I ROCK!!!

Sometimes, people don't realize when I get them all worked up, or when I get their project Rocking and Rolling! They don't realize, that is what I'm doing... they think it's organic. I'm working to generate momentum... When you do this... you have to watch for "Anchors", and you try to get them in line, or you cast them off.

This post sucks!!!

Fairly sure i'm over it. There is such a darkness with that one.

Running on empty

30 days of content 24

I'm skipping much of my cleaning today. Work, and i'm going to try and get some mojo back. When I was looking for Gardie stuff, I looked through the old blog. UGH!!! Even reading some of it... Here is some honestly, I want a nice posts. Sometimes I feel like I'm shooting the moon, and can't get them out, even when they are impressive, or at least readable.

I'm in a cleaning funk! I need to get some rest, then rally, and my schedule is packed.

This is how Scattered I am. I was listening to x96 the other day... Ugh.. I guess at nearly 40 I'm starting to hate that station. It's like reliving the early 1990's... in the 1990's when they played the same shit..... I wished they would play "Bitchen Camaro". But... I hated what they played in the 1990's, here it is 20 years later... now they play Retro! What Retro... 1990's... It's nice we have a station that hasn't purchased a new(to them) record in 20 years.

This is what I have for today... maybe something later.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I'm not missing you yet!

30 days of content 23

Home stretch... How did this become a competition.

Ugh... where did my day go. I did make it on the bike... so that may have had something to do with it. I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts together tonight. Maybe if I fold my Towels

You know, it's towel day tomorrow.. the original Interstellar Hitchhiker.. "Next Stop EVERYWHERE!"...

One of my goals, hopefully this year, is to write something and get it published. I think I'd rather, write something that, I think should be published. Who cares if it is, but I'd love to write something that I love that much.

Too much noise in my head! I have some good meditations going on "The great Opera" and "Fear/being judgmental"

Honestly I don't even know what "I'm not missing you yet" means!

I think I can honestly say this one sucked!.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Tears in the Rain!

30 days of Content 22

There is a sound outside. I opened up my window so I could hear it ... in it's most complete splendor. It's an unfamiliar sound for these parts. It's the sound of rain. It's accompanied by the sound of cars, cutting though the water on the street. It never rains here.

I was excited when I went to the park. I made use of an umbrella. Very exciting the umbrella, its compact frame sneaking from the folds of a jacket, a few clicks and suddenly a respite from the drizzle unfolds. A warm jacket and all is right in the world. Let the music continue, let the dance begin.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Free form

Ugh... 30 days of whatever... is starting to get to me...

I don't know about you guys... Is this the part where the Vino of blogging, starts to show some weakness...

One of my goals was to try and do the perfect 2-3 paragraph post. As busy as things are right now. You can see, that I have 2-3 ideas per day for the blog, and I try and develop them. Honestly it's 2-3 themes from my life, and I try and turn them from disorder to order.

The last one was 2 ideas One about how easy confrontation is. Another about having a melt down in HomeDepo. Then Linking them together... or trying to... All in 2 pages and about an hour.

The woman who calls me and yells at me about my Tile, called... she is doing the Melt down. I started yelling at her(this is the kind of relationship we have). YOU ARE HAVING A MELT DOWN!!!! YOU HAVE ME SCRUBBING EVERY TILE TOILET SINK PIPE DRAIN FLOOR WALL NOZZLE GLASS SURFACE IN MY HOUSE! YOU HAVE ME IN MY UNDERWEAR, WITH BLEACH AND SCRUBBER... IN ORANGE RUBBER GLOVES... WONDERING IF IT WOULD JUST BE BETTER TO SANDBLAST IT ALL!!!!


and we laugh and she finds it funny... I find it funny. I ask her all the laundry questions, I've never hand the answers to... and even if she doesn't know, she makes up some bullshit answer.. and feeds it to me. But it is fun, and things are getting very Polished...

So... it's 8pm and i'm exhausted, long weekend, i need to recharge. What do I have to do?... When I cleaned the refrigerator on Friday or Saturday... I didn't clean the coils underneath... ok... back to the coils... 8pm on Sunday.. I'm vacuuming . I'm dusting.. why? because in the morning.... she will be on my phone yelling about it...

Ugh.... but it's funny

End of my Leash!

Content 21?
Everything is fine, no worries. At least so far.....

It has been such a busy weekend.

"There never has been a better wing man, when things get dang". One of my skill-sets, is an ability to negotiate. Nothing scares me, business wise. I knew a legitimate Chinese gangster. He used to tell me stories. I also used to deal with nefarious types, regularly. One might even suppose that I was a nefarious type... One may even think I am a nefarious type. Most of that doesn't happen anymore.

I could tell you a story about how I heard the voices of a few people who, last I knew were talking about Kicking my ass, in my flat. I went right up and confronted them. Everything worked out fine. There is nothing like wondering if there are 4 guys in your apartment, ready to kick your ass... and being willing to go straight into the lions mouth.

I swear to god, if I gave you details. You would think I was lying, if you don't already.

SO..... suit and tie... it's all good, i'm happy to throw down. All my life, I've had people call me and say "This is a nasty meeting, and I want you to go.", I didn't realize until recently, but it's all game theory... I know how to play a game. That is a negotiation, a game.

One of my friends called me, "I have to go to a dinner, you want to be my wingman"
"who is going?"
The list was as long as my arm of people who very much dislike my friend. Catty awful people. Half of them, can't stand me either. I on the other hand, unlike my friend, can be openly hostile.
"No problem", I replied. off I went to what one would expect to be the worst possible evening.

Nothing like a challenge!

Most people won't be rude, especially people who are Catty. They want to slit your neck, after you leave, they don't have the balls to do it to your face. The fun is to look them straight in the eye, and even make snide remarks about how shallow they are.

It all went off, without a hitch. Everyone else uncomfortable and bitter, me and my friend, having a wicked good time...

Seems like at one point "you just have to throw down". Like I said, they were no Chinese gangsters.

Well, I'm still trying to give the house that deep Cleaning... trying to get all the ... All the things we put off over they years, completed... all the little things we skip and get them sorted out. I said that I was going to make some changes, or I was going to start breaking shit.

I was at Home Depo today, looking at Tile... in the middle of it... I started weeping... Ya.. there are a ton of cleaning chemicals in my system, and I skipped the bike on saturday, and I haven't done a "Big Ride" in a week.... But there I am, tears welling up in the Home Depo, I'm trying to keep the tears at bay, and am not going to let the 18 year old plumbing kid, see me welling up over a marble finish. Ya.. it wasn't about the tile... I know what it was about, but... that is between me and the Tile.

They were no Chinese gangsters..... but sometimes the Tile Section at HomeDepo, Gets to me.... I may be at the end of my Leash.... time to pull it in a bit.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Just doing!

content # 20.

looks like I skipped 19..There is content... I just skipped labeling it.

Big day today, for "The mop". Its strange, thought I'm anonymous, I can't talk about it. Big Day! Banner Personal day! Big Personal Milestone. What is interesting, is it's the same banal stuff that most people would post to their facebook or Blog... and I don't get to do it, since it's something that could link from "Man behind the mop" to "the mop"

Honestly, I'm a little heart broken. I sort of broke up with someone. Someone I think very Highly of, One of those few people that you see as Very special. It killed me to do it, I ground on it all week. I guess I decided to do it today. But it just built and Built and Built... and it became inevitable. To be honest, I'm not even sure that she cares. Seems like she was ready for me to be gone. I just decided to flip the "Off" Switch... stop waisting both our time.

This is the first time, in my life... I sort of broke up with someone and I don't think we are friends. It's ... Different. I never understand, if you aren't close friends, what are you doing dating them? I guess I'm saying, It's not like we are enemies, and like I said, this is a very special woman, Absolutely amazing, But I hit the Eject button, Pulled the Ripcord, better not to prolong it. It just wasn't working, I tried... it seemed over.

I'm dying to know if it will hit me like a ton of bricks.. Like I'm in denial, right now.. and I'll take some time tomorrow and cry myself to sleep, or something ... But... It is what it is.

It seems simple; If I'm having a "Banner day", something important is happening in my life. With someone important to me, I would think I could be sharing it with them. If they aren't there for this things. What am I doing? It's also lame, I'm talking about it here... Feels Unfun!

I have to "own" something. Weeks ago, we talked about the "Coffee Woman" the one that, I went to the movie with the Angry violent sex movie. I said that she would call Last weekend, and she didn't. I was wrong.

Like I said "Big Weekend" for "The mop", 'coffee woman' is also a friend, and because we have been friends for a long time. I've known Coffee woman for over 20 years. In fact, I've known her longer than I've known my Ex. But I had to call her for Moral support on my banner day. Which means, I've blown the whole "wait for her to call" bit. BTW, I've decided to give that up... "the whole wait 2 days, if she waits 2 days"... that kind of bullshit...

If I'm too StalkerRiffic... well that is too bad, she can break up with me. Of course, she then invited me over, which I turned down.. Mostly because.. well, Things are Things, right now. There are still Walls to wash... etc.... a garden to plant. Though I needed the moral support. Hanging out, wasn't in the cards.

Well... continued Craziness with "The mop" I promise... never a dull moment!

Worts and all...

It doesn't feel like, I'm giving you "Full Mop Joy" Right now... I'm going to try harder...

But I'm "Just doing" right now... and it is what I have.

Is this content?... proly not... but ... it is what I have.

Did I talk about Jesus

Alright.... Well, it is what it is.... It's all good when you are an anti-hero.

Friday, May 21, 2010


I drank beer!

Fuck.... How if I just go in a thousand directions... It's friday...Fucking Friday. I went to Living Traditions. Seriously... people come to the stage, to show you their Culture. Sure they are actually Americans, but they are hanging on to that herratage, and it's free and they show it to you. and there is food that... is too much and too many options...

BUT YOU ARE BUSY RIGHT? TO GO CHECK OUT other Cultures? Busy with that.... WTF you are doing???? FaceBookery ....
But I'm telling you ... an umbrella a jacket and a towel... the towel is to wash off the chair.... even a paper one will do.

Fucking Shenanagains... Are you High! Jesus!!!(sorry to the religious) but seriously... if there is a Jesus, Help me out here! I hope you have it all figured out... Cause if not... YOU ARE FUCKING UP! I don't want to say "Pull your head out!"... But you have to help me! I Can't do everything!... but maybe you have it all figured out.... I mean... Obviously.. right!!! all figured out! Fight God Damn IT!
(sorry, 4th wall Breakage... Just trying to keep my shit in the box)

Well, this post has been fun... You have no idea the shity food I've been eating... and all these damn Chemicals from cleaning... I blame them.
and seriously...

I left the house, all the dishes were done, clothing washed, everything is clean. I come home, now there is another small load, and some dishes..... I'm like the little boy and the dyke with this stuff.... I'd put my dick in the hole..... but....... Wait he put his finger in the hole right?... or did he Pee on something..... I need to brush up on dutch mythology? In fact... I'm starting to get the impression that the cleaning will never be done!

or not... how if I just get some sleep!


It was so ... Yesterday. Not sure I care to bore anyone with "THIS IS MY TAKE" best, I love the game. Lance is trying not to say anything that can be "quantified". I also loved "Ask me any questions, we have nothing to hide, unless you ask specifics."

He knows the sound bite, you also know, he had Months to think about it, and plan for this. They have been talking about it since Floyd got nailed. I'd even bet Lance encouraged him to take money from people for his defense, so it painted him in a corner.

What people don't realize is lance is a step ahead of them. The suggestion that he would do anything "Rash" is Laughable. The only curious thing, would be if they are setting a trap for lance, but he probably has too many bribes and is too ahead of them for them to pull anything sneaky. Too many people in cycling want to do lance a favor!

Huge numbers of the international guys are doing some form of blood doping, or drug training enhancement. Do I know who? nope....

I think I said it yesterday..... To me it wasn't Surprise another drug scandal... just another Thursday in International cycling.

Bla bla bla bla..... Now it's friday.

Eggs to omelet to Giro

Ham cheese pan eggsHam fried.
Eggs with Water then lightly mixed.
Water makes steam and makes the eggs with more fluff.
Hot pan... Very hot pan, Olive oil or butter.
Very hot pan. eggs should cook in quick light layers.
Extras..... while it's still cooking. but the pan is off, and it will finish cooking.
too much stuff, so it broke open a bit.
Dill and Yogurt on one side, Last year's salsa on the other.

Slightly messy plating...
And the Giro!


30 days of content. What is this #19

Many Years ago, there was some discussion about "Straight Edger". To me, it seems a bit Judgmental. Walk a thousand miles in another person's shoes, then we can talk. I tend to be very tolerant, of other peoples choices. I don't know why you are doing what you are doing, but hopefully you have your reasons. In retrospect, it seems like just about any life philosophy, tends to be fine, until you decide the whole world needs to worship the same thing you do; at the Foot of Allah, or to the Great Capitalist god; McDonald's and DOW Chemical.

At the same time I was trying to live a bit cleaner, probably drink less or something. I guess in my 30's living a healthier life was becoming more appealing. What I learned was that part of that straight edger lifestyle was about respecting yourself. Showing some character about how we treat ourselves. Of course, I've always been a big fan of; If I can have Inner peace, then I can Extend that inner peace to the outer world, and it makes sense that the same would apply to Respect.

I was reminded, in some current thoughts about Respect, About my long time friend, who was chronically late, and after Years of it, After years of waiting at trail heads, and standing there like a FUCKING LOSER waiting for them hour after hour. That I needed to respect myself more.

It's probably a character flaw, but I tend to be tolerant, then suddenly, like a switch I just turn. "That is fine, Yep... I should sit around and wait for you. Fantastic! Great! Sounds like you are such a wonderful person, obviously you are too good for me.... I'm happy to move on! You can find some new Loser to sit around and wait for your precious ass! Good Luck with that!" It was 2 months before I got an apology, from him. At that point I said "Sit by your phone, Maybe we will do something, at some point." Of course that was near his birthday, and he realized he had nobody to go drinking with. Strange, cause my birthday went completely forgotten. To this day, I get Christmas cards, which go unread.

To them, "It's just how they are". Take it or leave it. On my end, not showing that respect for myself, is extremely detrimental. So, I don't have a choice. If someone isn't mature enough to "own their mistakes", you are waisting your time.
Onward and upward.... or sideways as the case may be! Nothing Else I can do!

And Props to the former straight edger, who helped me to understand that. I'd say, this is when we became "SuperFriends", I've decided that is what I should call Y'All. My SuperFriends!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nobody's home!

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it every day

And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why

You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind

She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place, yeah

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside
Oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside
Oh oh, oh

Lebowski event

Well, I created the lebowski event on facebook same weekend as capitol reef of course some how it's on the 16th and 17th.. I guess no racing on sunday..
Go see the movie...
I hope I have the balls to show up... but heck.. it's me and greg so far.. so I just have to duck him and I'm golden!

No idea what to call this.

#30daysofcontent #18 or something

Yesterday, a 14 year old nerdy girl looked at me like I was on the menu.

Which is good.... and bad.

It's strange about cars, then there was a gaggle of girls in another car, and they were giggling, it involved me.... but I mean, for hells sakes... i'm in lykra. It's when the soccer moms in the suv's give me the look, that I know I'm golden.

Today, some woman asked directions, I think I went to Jr. Highschool with her... or it was my dick talking.(did I just write that?). It was an odd conversation, and she was a little discombobulated. I'm not sure if it was my ass, or the snot hanging from my nose.

Out here we have that hill up winchester, and we can talk Wasatch, all you want, but out here... we like to kick each other's ass on winchester. I kicked it very hard in the big ring up the first half, then finished it off. But when I got to the top... I'm not sure if it was Windex or Bleach that my lungs and system wanted to Vomit! It was one of the two. Time to open some windows, and this may be why I'm not feeling up to much riding, of late.

Point is, I'm not exactly feeling like wolverine, More like Mrs Doubfire or Mr Mom!...

It's all good!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Spring in the step

#30 days of Content, or lack thereof.

Feels like, some of the spring in my step is gone. I'm sure it will be back. I put in some miles today, I couldn't bring myself to do a big ride. It wasn't in me. The weather was awesome. I came home and watched the end of the tour of California, through my eyelids. After getting up at 4am, and taking a nap at 7am, one would think I'd be rested. I keep thinking, if I can catch another nap, I'll Rally!

So far, it hasn't happened. It's important Vacuuming and dusting day. The Mentor, gave me a stern talking too, about how my curtains weren't Ironed. I swear to god! it was not on the list! But... ok, I pulled them down, and ironed them anyways. We laughed about it... and laughed... Then I hung up on her.....
And she called back....

Some days you have to just give up...
They can't all be winners.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Ugh!!! part 2

Final Draft....

95% done.... I need to finish it up... and Have the balls to post it...

Assuming it makes any sense.


80% on a reWrite!!!

Epic.... must get post done....

"Who is the Mop?"- A moral Philosophy

With anonymity, I can be honest. Well, assuming I'm not being a Dick to people, I can be honest.

If you want some honesty, here is some real honesty...
If I had it all to do over again
'Would I go after the 15k dream?'


I love my bike, I love riding it, I think Racing is Cool. I mentioned this to one of the Twitter people. "George Hincapie is cool to us", to the other 99.9999% of the world, he is just some skinny athlete, who used to ride with lance. George is Cool, and a Great guy! I think the world of him. But he is just some dude who lives in Virginia or something, I'm not even sure I'd say hi at the grocery store. I'd smile, give him a head nod.

This is what I do like,
I like the Stories.

I like how Ryan Barrett and Kelly struggle with, how to fit his cycling into their lives.

I like Lozy, I like the story of how he is trying to eek out his first Cat 4 win, I'm super psyched to see if that can happen this year. I like, that he made sure Heather got to the Boston Marathon!

I like Sohmy, and Kimbal.... and Clint and everybody out there "WHO JUST KEEP FIGHTING! EVERY GOD DAMN DAY!"

I like to hear about how, Sandy has moved on to Becoming a doctor, and still tries to mix a little cycling into his Days.

These are great Stories!

A Few years back, Champion sports apparel did their commercials, not focused on the Michael Jordans of the world, but on the Lozy's and the Sandy's... THE EVERY DAY HERO'S.... I very much think, these are the GREAT HERO'S of the World. The Nancy's and the AK'S and the J-Rad's and the Art's and the Stephen's .... The guys who fight every day, to try and stay fit. That go out and enjoy a good workout, change back into Clark Kent... and go back to work.

I like that Mr. Big time Louder's family is following him around in an RV... I'd like to read That Blog!! More than I'd like to hear about how.. "I attacked, he attacked, I countered... somebody won!"

To Hell With Lance, and Cavendish, and Thor and....... Ok... Great! you won a tour stage.... But did you Spend all day Prepping for an afternoon Meeting?, and still make it outside, for a 3 hour ride!!! That is hard... George Hincappie you rode your bike all day, then came home and took a nap... WOW!!! AMAZING. Sign me up!! (Eye Roll).... Where is the Biography... George? did you sleep on your right side or your Left?.

So, as a Moral Philosophy... that is the point of "The Mop!"... I'm your biggest Fan... you every day Hero of the road! Just don't be a douchbag! Just don't try and be a KillJoy to someone else.

I have no desire to "Fuck with People", every once in a while... I may step on your tail a little, or maybe try and get you to look at something with a different perspective. But honestly, Life is questions, not answers.... and all I have are questions.

The Problem,
so.. with facebook...twitter etc....

Suddenly it's been easier to have a One on One Relationship with "The mop"... I have to say, it's been kind of strange, and interesting. Listen, every time things get there, regardless if it's Nancy, or Sandy, or Art... Honestly, I think this "Mop thing" is FUCKING STUPID, especially when you and I are One on One. Those tend to be more, Gardening advice, or a few people want to get a One on One Allons-Y. I very much want to go "Hey! My real name is X, Lets go get coffee" But it is hard game to play if "I'm a Real boy".

Now for some real honesty, for example, one of you.... was and has been, for about 3 weeks, a complete Jackass on twitter. I've had to shut them/it down on them a couple times. For being a DICK to people... and yes, this person is a self loathing Dope. Misery loves company. My point is, I WOULD NEVER HANG WITH YOU!(Chances are good, this is not you BTW, As a game, you assume or wonder if I'm talking about you. I would just dismiss it, because chances are very good, it's not you.) I'm good to put a positive spin, and give a pep talk. But when you realize, that i'm not Psyched to be your bud.... there is a ittle "Shine" on "The Mop" that is lost.

But there are still the "Mop Curious"... and they want to get to know me better, and that is great, I'd love to get to know many of you better. It can't be done, at the conclusion of "the Mop" last time in 2006?, somebody got close, to "the mop" and it started to destroy things. It's very much Pandora's box. The box is great, Leave it alone! Understand... Being a "Real Boy" destroys "The Mop"... as a persona.

Seriously, There are numerous, Real Live woman in my life. There are Several very close friends. There are tons of business associates and clients. My life is as full as I can stand. Honestly, I'd love to go play Tennis with Art, And still... Maybe I will. Who knows. But ... Being a non Enigma... a Non Cypher... I can't do it, it screws with the fabric of the illusion.

I've talked to a few people, who are familiar with the Mop in real life.

Some of them say, "This is stupid, why do it... it's not a game."

They are Wrong! This is a High order Mental Game.... They mean well, but they don't get it. For some reason, they think I can talk about anything, and get away with it... all becoming, a "Real Boy" does is makes this boring. Also, If I can't do the "OverShare" and talk Super Personal, to all of you... this is a waist of time for me.... Part of that, is to be clear.. I can garden and make a mean Paella, but I still suffer!

I keep saying "Mentally you picture 'The Mop', even though you do not know what kind of 'Mop' it is."(this is from Wild at heart BTW) The first problem, is "The mop" is not what you picture. It's not the Fantasy, especially for the woman, who get some idea i'm Fabio or something.... The real Me... the non Cypher, the non Enigma... IS NOT WHAT YOU PICTURE!... it's not your Illusion, I guarantee!

Now to be honest... I'M BETTER than your illusion!!! I'm Greater, and I'm even a more Fantastic a person "In Real Life".... but the problem is "I'm not the Delusion that you have!"... and it's a pity, most people can't let go of that "Illusion", and get to know the Real person...

Look at it from my perspective.... the idea that you like me "Because of 'the mop' " and not because, you look at me, "The real Boy" and want to get to know him.... It's Repugnant. I would resent you for it.

I... 'The Real Boy', AM NOT THE MOP"... it's an illusion.... in reality, things are messy! Feelings get hurt, Ego's Bruised.... hearts Broken! I'm a puppet master... "The Mop" is this thing (A Third or fourth Order game) on the blog, and the thing on Twitter, Neither of which are Me(I'm the Fourth or Fith order guy, pulling the strings.). I am Very much Amazed, and think you all are Spectacular, People! That is true.

One of the Twitter folk, A charming woman, started a bit of a One on One, with me, this was January. She very much just wanted to go have some Coffee. I was totally into it. But I know that there is a 98% chance, I'm waisting my time. Her illusion of me, is Hell and gone from the reality, it's no way to start a relationship. It's a Pity, in fact it's a good damn Shakespearian Tragedy, Very Charming woman... and It will never work out, because "I'm the Mop". It would be a very different thing, If I or she caught me, on the road, and we just hit it off. But... Coffee with "The Mop"... It's the stuff of Rumor.(and how stupid is it, that ... I just wrote that.... How dysfunctional!)... I can be the great cycling Snipe, Elusive Silver Backed Rhino, that the hunter wants to bag.

There is some guy, He is out there on a bike, Struggling his way up Suncrest.... That is me. The guy you just dropped, or the guy you just waved to on the road. Maybe, I'm the guy who rode with you for 7 miles on Saturday morning or the guy who you put the screws to on 27th... That is me...

Now, 'The mop'! he is the Allons-y... he is the .... Good Morning!... he is the 'Keep fighting!'... the weird story about Riding suncrest, or trying not to knock a kid off a BMX bike.... that is "the mop"

I'm the guy, still obsessing about "if the mildew, is gone from his shower".. that is me... but it's still AWESOME!!!

And the point of this post is, in the words of TC McQueen.

"Anyone worth a Chigs Ass,
for asking themselves
'Who Am I? and What is the point?' "

"To turn away is simple!"

"Who is the Mop"- A not so quick History.

Some quick history
(not going to be quick)
It was 2004 in December, I was sitting here not unlike how I am sitting here at this moment. . I had been riding a mountain bike agressivly (3-5times a week) for two years. Decided to pick up a road bike that October, and LOVED IT! It was the cold months. I decided there had to be somebody, online to talk to, about cycling. I did some searches and found the UCA , I just wanted to chat, and get some cycling talk going, to get rid of the winter dull-drums.

This is how it all started!!!!

I'm sitting there, signing up for an account. What should my name be?, I say to myself 'These guys like good nicknames, they all have them. I feel like 'A Mop' right now, dirty scruffy tired. So... without much thought "I'm The Mop!"

It's not like I want to post, to the UCA. Every body was very quite on the forum, like they still are. So... heck with it, I decide to post a few questions. Good Old Ryan, steps up and has a nice joke...After a few posts, Ryan is like "Hey, I'm Ryan Barrett star of The hard road, and some other thing... " He had a whole Schick back then, very tongue and cheek. Then he finishes off with "Who are you?" .

Being ME.... I smart off, and say.. "Great Question, I think i've been trying to answer that question, my entire life "WHO AM I?". It's a good way to deflect. I had a chat with Travis who ran the web site, a few times. I used my regular email. Ryan, had a weekly Coaches chat. I used to go to it, just for fun. Learn something new about cycling. I could ask questions. I even swear, I told him my name. Seriously, it who I was was never a "Secret". I think, I even sent Ryan an email or two, with my regular e-mail.

I sort of gave it up, at the UCA, everyone was a serious racer... there was a whole racing vibe going on. I'm not a very competitive person, and I wasn't in that kind of shape. That and it seemed like "I wasn't One of Them", even to them. The UCA also seems like it has a pecking order, and it's determined at the races. So, some random schmoe like me... didn't particularly "Rate" a voice at the UCA. Which is true, i'm not really a big racer... I just love the bike. Which is of course, what is wrong with the fourm, that anyone who "Rates" being on the Forum, is probably to tired to post.

I was going on cycling trips, at the time. It was cold, and I had to get where it was warmer. I started snowbirding it down to St. George I think I even spent the weekend before Christmas in Springdale, Just checking it out... since I would rather be in Springdale, than St. George. Even though it's 10 degrees colder.

But those trips were lonely, Just me and the bike.. it was nice.. I decided to start a blog.. I didn't tell anyone about it. After a few weeks, I decided that I could put the blog on my UCA profile. I figured, nobody would read it. Also, I started writing... Personal stuff, all the odd thoughts one has from time to time... Odd jokes.. some of the quirky things, I'd think of On the bike. A few embarrassing, or even dirty things.

Spring starts happening, everyone gets active, race season starts. I start digging all the local races, the local competitions, between teams, good stuff. It's fun personal drama.

Still the question at the UCA is "Who is the mop"? See it from my perspective. I know the Internet. If you put my name "Bob Williams"(not my name) and Utah together. Every sane Employer will google you. So, what if I have some cycling Phobic boss, who does this. He goes "Bob Williams is some kind of Cyclist.". Most of us know how ignorant people are, 'He is some kind of freak'. You can lose work, because some Jackass doesn't like what he comes up with when he googles you. Point being, stay off the grid!... I'm serious. Your idiot ex Girlfriend, or your former/future employers co-workers. Have no business, knowing a single thing about your life.

As far as I was concerned, being private is every bit my right. The great tragedy on the Internet, is that anonymity is going away. So now it's a less honest place, you can't tell the author of the worst story you ever read, or that you think that DOW scrubbing bubbles are a Bullshit Marketing Gimic, or the guy who writse the newspaper how bad it was. Have a spine, people are not going to like what you write. Tough it out, people don't like you, but you don't need purple smoke blown up your ass.

Suddenly, It's a game And a ton of people want to play "Who is the Mop". Being me, I turn it into something a little bigger. The idea being, "Everybody is the mop", or "The mop is just that guy you dropped" so, don't be a dick head. We all love the bike. That is enough. Point was "I could be Anyone".

And I love to tell a funny story, or a self deprecating story.

Now... Part 2... where are we going!!!

Warren Buffett is an asshole.

#30 days of content #16
(this was part of my "who is the mop post", it got away from me, and I wrote this)

the entire financial sector of the economy, is filled with narcissistic Jackasses, who are so miserable..... and Stupid:

.. THEY TALK LIKE EVERYONE WANTS TO BE WARREN BUFFET besides being rich... Ask yourself? what else has he done?? Name it... Did he cure cancer? Did he Free South Africa? Did he lead the German peasants in a revolt against, the papistry? Did he come up with Didactics? how about...The Scientific Method? Did he write about Moral Philosophy, I mean even Adam Smith did that? NO WARREN BUFFET IS A DOUCHE BAG!!!! HE HAS DONE NOTHING FOR MANKIND, AND EVERYTHING FOR HIMSELF, he should be Berated, he should be Frowned upon.. we should mourn the Warren Buffets of our society.

Ya, when he dies, his money will be donated. FUCK that Bullshit! He waisted his Brain, he waisted his time on this LAME QUEST TO .... do whatever he is doing.... DID HE NEVER ASK "WHO IS WARREN BUFFET?" and say "What is the point of all this bullshit??? What Am I doing with my life?

ya... he got rich... Fuck that Loser!

Oracle of Omaha, ... Predict something useful for mankind.

Sure... donating his money...when he dies, but if he is a fucking Genius... why didn't he decide to cure cancer?



so, this post about "What I'm doing with the mop blog"...

It's now 8 pages, and probably 1/2 to 1/3 done. Nobody is even going to want to read it, when it's finished.

and it's going to take a ton of work.


I was talking about doing a "Who is the Mop" post. There was some confusion, about if I was going to become a "Real Boy".

The reason I'm going to do a "Who is the Mop Post" is because.... It is not clear in my head... what I'm doing with this blog... or with Facebook or with Twitter.

I have to get it clear in my head, it's honestly Fucking with me.

which is why I have to do a "Who is the Mop Post".

Monday, May 17, 2010


Ugh.... So busy! Holy Crap!

I'm actually taking some down time, to make sure I can pace myself, and keep things Rolling.

Everything is just smoking along. It's garden time.

I was thinking about "Who is the mop today" it's such an epic post.

It's very hard to crank it out. I keep hoping i can do it in ... Cover it in a few concise paragraphs.

There is a ton of manic out there, I'm going to warn people.... PACE YOURSELF!...

and some Idiot thing you do, or Idiot Hubris, that you show.... That is how the hubris ends... and you come crashing back to earth.....

I can feel it out there... I can see it... Either keep your shit together, or Get ready to take one on the chin.

Damn... I just realized... I have to do... "Who is the Mop"... it has to happen.... FUCK!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Well now! Pulled a little darkness didn't I

#30DaysofContent #15- monday

Pulling a little darkness, this evening. No worries, it will be processed soon. Not enough bike time! I love to work on the yard but... The weekend is a whirlwind, it's always strange to wonder where it went, Also... I can ride tomorrow if I really want to, and probably will. I'm lucky enough to be able to let the weekend folks bang into each other, then I can have the roads back to myself.

Half way there! Ok, lets get to the content.

Finally, spring has sprung and many people... (Damn... I just wrote it out, and it's impressive my little meditation on darkness. I'm going to have to try again. I seem to have swore, and cussed.)

I decided to start singing "I'm just a little black raincloud" for some of you.

I think, it's one thing to be a miserable dark angry bitter.... vibrating Flesh bag.
It's another, when you run around trying to infect other people, or try and shit on them, to make you feel better. (Trying to cut me down, doesn't make you any taller)

(just deleted another paragraph, I have the yucks!!!)

Yep, here it is midnight... Seems like I'm working through it.... Tired and exhausted.... More "me" time.

Moving on.... Allons-y!!!

Hopefully it's just a quick dark front, Doesn't seem like any fun to me.... I want pleasant things in my life. Seems easy to get rid of the bad stuff, it's easy to identify.

Keep your Blood pumping!.... Umn.. I hope this was interesting!

Keeping Pace-Notes

Exhausting weekend... they are all exhausting... Not enough bike riding. Federer was taken out by Nadal in a Warm up to the French. My aunt called about something.. I gave her an earful of how Nadal should never win a tournament, until he buys a bigger pair of underwear(tennis joke).

Strangely, I'm kind of cranky. There are quite a few people .... I've been running up against some clueless windbags....who talk a big game, but have their thumb up their ass. WAKE THE FUCK UP! Most of them are clueless "one trick pony's". Keep talking, a big game. In life, there are those who talk, and those who act.
It doesn't make you taller to try and tear me down, and it's a laughable waist of my time.

Talk the talk.... Now walk the walk....

I've decided to start talking about "LITTLE BLACK RAINCLOUDS!" like in winnie the pooh.

And worse... the little Bullshit games they play, like I'm 8-18 years old. It's tired Bullshit... how clueless do you have to be to try and play a second order game with me, Let alone... a first....

I'd also suggest that you "Know your shit" if you are going to step up to me. Other than that...

As I say... Good luck..... ALLONS-Y.

Well, a few hours off on a Sunday... should square me up.. give me a nice recovery.

Second Till

#30daysofcontent #14

This is the unhealthy soil Above. Filled with Clay, but broken up. Not enough compost in this soil

The above is after a fast till.

First I do a nice deep Till. Then... I do a shallow fast till to turn the soil into a nice powder. Above is nice healthy soil, Tons of organic material.

Now.... Time to start building beds... Once this till is completed. I WILL NOT STAND ON THE SOIL.Here I dig both a trench for irrigation. and a pathway to walk. This is about 12-16 inches deep. I dig down to the compaction layer.. and that is where I can start walking. This will be the path between my planting beds. On each side will be potatoes, One bed on the right, one on the left.

Every time you stomp on your soil, it makes it harder for your plants to get their roots in there. Especially on the remains of a lake bed(Lake Bonneville), like the Wasatch front.... Thousands of years ago, there was 40 feet of water above this spot, and that is some odd... 2 tons of pressure per square inch... Our soil is PACKED!... if you want good healthy plants... do not run around like cattle on your soil. Never stip on it, and if you have to, put some kind of large flat brick to help to disperse the pressure.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Yep... I ride this hard.

#30daysofcontent 13? shouldn't this be 14? oh.. its Saturday.. ok... Right on schedule

This one may not endear me to my readers, Warts and all. Long day... Coffee... Cadel won! Clean. work on the yard.

I Now have Cleanser in my blood stream, it will take days for it to clear.

Out on the bike, I think I skipped my ride yesterday... and cleaning was the workout. I have retired my short route... it's just my fall back 9 mile route which I love and still love.

I have now extended that route out to 17 miles, and its the same route with a bootleg.

It's Saturday and I decided that I'd take a short section on the Parkway. For those who know, I dislike riding the parkway. It's slow and dangerous, for me and for kids and adults.

At one of the parks... it's the usual fiasco. Party of 20 family members wandering the path, taking up the whole thing, Hitting a Spur, and standing there like they don't know what to do. Then a flow of bike riders, Rollerblades, joggers and cyclists trying to manage their way through them.

I pass the party of 20 walkers, without uncliping. Sure enough... there is "The Boy" on his bmx, not older than 10 years old. Weaving right and left in his lane... and I have to pass. I slow to 3 miles per hour, and work my way around him. I know better than to say anything or it will guarantee he will suddenly swerve into the passing lane.

The minute I get near Parallel with him or 4 feet behind him... Here he comes.. Right into me. I slow down, say "oops... somebody trying to pass you." he looks over and all he can see is my front wheel... it startles him, and he swerves harder into me. I reach over, grab his handle bars and straighten them out. "What!!!" he says.. his bike, without him knowing starts going back into his lane..... FOR SOME REASON... The kid LEANS INTO ME, trying to prop himself up on me and my bike to keep himself upright.... I push him forward trying to keep him upright.. Keep in mind... he is Crashing into me, at any moment his handle bars or pedals will make contact with my wheels.

He makes it forward another 3 feet, and falls over as I pass.

I shake my head and give him a backwards glance... All of this happening at about 2 mph

I just dumped an 8 year old on a BMX bike...

On his Ass!.....

yep... I'm that hard... Good hell...

Please, keep in mind this is just that unbelievable situation... where there is Just no win.

and the parents I'm sure had no idea what he would expect, on the parkway, on his BMX bike at the park..."Hey son, throw your bike in the back of the truck" and could not explain how on the parkway you have to stay in your lane and be careful .....on the parkway, or you hit people.


I booked it.. because... I didn't what to get into a 30 minute discussion with his parents about how "Their perfect Golden Child" was a disaster waiting to happen....

and he just managed to "Spill" onto me.

Ok... No more weekend parkway for me.

Friday, May 14, 2010


Ugh...... If Someone keeps your Mildew at bay... They need a ton of love...

Now! seriously... My shower is not bad! I did see 2 black spots today, Other than that... there are just slight discolorations. I know Mold is bad.... but... those two little spots. I'll get them, now that I see them.

I don't even want to talk about this. I have a new list of things not to talk about Politics Religion and bathroom cleaning. I kid you not... DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY!!! When you come home from a hard day Where ever.... and your girlfriend is crying... SERIOUSLY... ITS PROBABLY ABOUT THE MILDEW!!! and it's because you are not clean enough in the shower.

Ok, I've known that the shitty Caulk, that the previous owners put in, has needed to be re-done for 2 years.... I'M ON IT!!! THAT IS EASY!!! this Mildew stuff is like fighting windmills.... I have no idea how many times I've scrubbed that sucker... 3 or more times today... could be as high as 6 times....

I'm about ready with the sandblaster.....

BUT... I do have a secret... You can't touch it... but DRAIN CLEANER!!! which is a diluted hydrochloric acid or sulfuric acid.... YOU CAN"T TOUCH IT... but you can wash it down the tile. And if you have any build up in the corners of the shower... It's perfect... BE FUCKING CAREFUL I tried it a scrubbing pad for a little bit, it started melting in my hand. I'm also not sure, but my fingerprints may not match anymore.

Will be wearing this bizzaro hoodie thing for the remainder of the day

To prove that his 1990's attire... will never die
Who even knew I could own something, that went out of style!.. There are some very nice 80's sweaters... that will remain picture-less.


.... I haven't said this, I have a Cleaning mentor. It's weird, One talks to a person, and I say, "I respect that, you have an impressive method to your cleaning. The next thing you know, I'm spending 2 hours working on my grout. And yes, my grout could use some work.

Apparently, I'm doing my closet today, as well. This plus work, plus some fitness....

Strangest life I've ever lead.

My fitness is coming along, Good stuff.... I'm trying to convince myself to ride to the base of Nebo this weekend. Not sure if I'll make it, but apparently I'm talking about it. It will be a tough hall, but now that 30 days of cycling is over... I at least feel better... and am getting some rest, so I feel stronger.

all good.

The Quiet mind

#30 Days of Content 12

This is a hard one.... Some of you, do what I like to call "Spinning". You have no idea what to do.... so you just spin around and around and around..... How do I know this? Because I can do it.

Why? Because you are confused. Your mind fights you at every moment, it wants to be organized, and it wants to be focused.....

But what do you do? You fill it with Garbage. Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus!.... Like if all the T.V.s and radios and Chatty Kathys in your life, Turned off. The world would stop.

Your mind is like a library, at one point all the people need to leave, and the books need to get back on the shelves.
Sure, that is done throughout the day, but there is a sort of entropy at work. What your mind needs, is some quiet time, to just "SORT". Even on the bike, one can have the music going, and the cars driving by... and still the mind has a hard time doing a "Sort". Sometimes, I turn off the Music, and just ride... and the things that go through my head... as my brain gets a chance to just "Be Alone with It's Self" and just Catalog, are frighting, and yet refreshing.

You are giving your Brain a chance to realize "Oh! this book is about Science, that is where that goes. This one is about Love. This is part of Biology. And Wow! I'd like to read this one again. Many people, set aside an hour or so of quite time every day for this. One can listen to music... or just sit in the garden and think. The reason your mind isn't "Quite" is because you aren't giving yourself that time. Sure, my mind runs at a thousand miles per hour.... But you spin, when it runs at a thousand miles per hour, and you can't keep up.... it turns into a spiral... and you can't get out of it.

One thing that will happen is that, unless you are super tired. As you go to bed, your mind will run... run with all those thoughts, and it won't allow you to sleep. Many people turn the TV on, to stay distracted, and hope to fall Asleep. This is the exact wrong thing to do. You need to go through these thoughts, you need to suffer with them.....

Again, it's your mind trying to organized. A thousand years ago, or even one hundred. You and I would have to walk or ride places, even spend hours chopping wood. These were times when our minds would "Catalog" or "Quite It's Self". Now with our Car Radios and our MP3 and the Commercials, and all the TV...

It's like we can't catch a breath.....

and some of us suffocate under the weight of it.

It sounds like "Being Lazy" and yet a small period of time to just walk, or think and just Sort through, what is on your mind... Is Imperative.... in the true sense of the word "something that is unavoidable and necessary"

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The day's schedual

This is a typical mop day:

  1. Wake up. Decide 5am is no time for humans, go back to bed.
  2. Get up at 6am, turn on computer, Read my to-do list.
  3. Check how the Pre-Market is trading.
  5. Eat Something.
  6. Read To-Do list again, see if it makes more sense this time.
  7. Check Twitter, Check Facebook. Do some email.
  9. Drink Coffee, this time understand my To-do list.... but wonder.... Why?
  10. start some work.... etc... Watch the market open.
  11. Go Outside.... Ponder... WTF IS ALL THAT STUFF ON THE TO DO LIST!
  12. Check Greenhouse.
  13. Fill Coffee cup, second or third time
  15. Then, time for House Work
  16. Lunch
  17. Work
  18. Market Closes.
  19. Bike ride
  20. Usually, as I recover from a bike ride, I need some nonsense. So, I probably start some.
  21. Work.
  22. Dinner
  23. Check out the garden, close up the greenhouse.
  24. Work
  25. Phonecalls or Blogger
  26. work...
  27. sleep.
  28. Reboot!

Why you're are no fun!

Somebody has been talking to me about a "Tennis Hit" the last week. Someone who sucks, but who just wants to hit a ball..... OK, Fine!

Yesterday it was bad weather... today it's nice.

I called them, at noon... "I'm going to bike ride, then come back about 3, and I'll call and see if you want to hit a tennis ball for a while."

them "Ok, call me then."

me, 3pm "Do you want to go hit a tennis ball, Now is the time?"

them in a Big Huff "I can't do that, because nobody will help me!!!!"

me, "Oh Jesus, guess you don't want to play some tennis, sorry. Catch you later".

You see, I'm not an idiot, they scheduled their melt down with my phone call, I told them when it was. And they were hoping, I would show up and fix their shit, so that I could play tennis. But I work my ass off all day. I do all of my shit, plus some shit for other people. But to hell if i'm going to trade, Tennis, for your melt down..... HELL NO!

Just a side note, this is also a person who constantly says "Nobody will go fishing with me."...

Ya, nobody will do these things with you, because you are no fun.

Why do I want to have a fishing/tennis Meltdown??

The Effing Sloop, Horror story!!

#30daysofcontent #11
You read a story like this, this is bad stuff. So, if you have your good Mojo/Flow going... Realize, you are about to enter a world of hell.

So, you read it, and... Mob justice comes to mind. I am a ... I do not believe in "Mob Justice" I think there is nothing worse than when you get, 5 morons in a room and they decide to take action. Isn't that the way, most comedies start?(Right, I'm crossing a line there, Real life vs. Movies... which are certainly different things.).. that or bike rides..... LOL!

When I saw the story days ago, I though, "Obviously the parents did it! and it's most likely the man"... It's just a probability study, There weren't details, and honestly you can't dispense justice based on probability, even though we know it happens. Now, once we have the details... Holy Crap! It is un-Believable... and in the middle of it... THEY FUCKING GOT MARRIED!!! Gee honey, lets celebrate our marriage, by Killing your son.

We are all... Evolved people: but I received this message this morning:

I've always claimed to be against capital punishment and when it comes down to actual executions, they really disturb me. That said, I'm totally fine w/releasing that motherfucker into the general prison population and letting them take care of him. The mom is a piece of shit who fought for her child in court and then in effectively participated in his murder. Start w/sterilizing her and go from there. -(just to give credit, for an honest emotion, this was Nancy. Who Ok'ed getting credit. Right, its good to be honest with our emotions/selves?)

I feel the same way. In fact... The thought crossed my mind, "How can I get thrown in Jail, so I can Kick that dude's ass" or the Gas Chamber... There are broken people out there, and there is nothing you can do. Either lock them up forever, or .... In a way, I agree... and yet... maybe our society should "Own this". When you let a prisoner die, When our society does that, by Prison justice... that isn't "Owning it". Maybe that is a dialog we should have. Somehow, we should have a way to... deal with heinous crimes.

Keeping my emotions in check, Many years ago, I worked in a victims program. I realized, that the guys who victimize woman, for the most part, are these little scrawny, angry, bitter, guys. Guys with big chips on their shoulders, and Napoleon complexes(though they have no idea who that is) They are generally the guys, that get/got picked on, by every one else. They are guys who's fathers... beat them, and who everyone else... tends to pick on.

This is called the cycle of abuse, and my desire to 'Kick his ass'... is just part of that cycle. I still think, The Nathan Sloop is broken. It wasn't a mistake, it wasn't an accident, it was repeated, and he kept at it, and he will never be re-rehabilitated. Certainly not with our system. He is just broken...

Now... THE MOM... "I want custody of my kid, so that my new boyfriend/husband can kill him"... I think more accountability, should be "Dealt" by our justice system, for people who, Enable... or who... Sit back... and do nothing.... SHE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON... YOU CAN'T BULLSHIT ME.

And I wonder if they got married, so that they would have a loophole to not have to testify. I don't even know if that is true... or if that is just some bullshit on Law and Order, or CSI, that I or they, may have heard about. THROW AWAY THE KEY! Never, should that woman, have a child, play with a child, or talk to a child. And Prison..... Lots of Prison!

So.... I'm pissed about this... and I'm not even sure if any of this makes any sense... Hopefully in the final edit.

Of course... maybe I'm just pissed, because the kid Looked of Nerdy... and I want to defend the Nerdy kids!

sorry... this just looks like it's going to be a discombobulated gigantic rant!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

How to speak Pig Latin

Post #8 #30daysofcontent.... For Ryan, to help him catch up.

There has been some concern around the Barrett household, about the kids learning well... they can spell...

So... a new trick... I'm suggesting Pig Latin.

Here is a Primer:

Pig Latin is a twist of English for people who want to be silly, or for kids who don't want their parents to know what they're talking about. There are different ways in which people speak pig Latin. I only know a few ways. Here are the ways I have learned:
For words which begin with a single consonant take the consonant off the front of the word and add it to the end of the word. Then add ay after the consonant. Here are some examples:

simply = implysay
noise = oisnay
For words which began with double or multiple consonants take the group of consonants off the front of the word and add them to the end, adding ay at the very end of the word. Here are some examples:

scratch = atchscray
thick = ickthay
flight = ightflay
grime = imegray

For words that begin with a vowel, just add yay at the end. For example:

is = isyay
apple =appleyay
under = underyay
octopus = octopusyay

Seems good for the peloton too:

Reakbay Ownay

Hetay Opmay Isayay Idiotyay

How to Try!

#30daysofContent #10

I had a Boss, when I was 25, and I had a question about a product we had purchased. First thing he asked, "Well, call them and ask!". He had this huge, thing about not just Calling and asking. It actually made him angry, "They are there, and they know the product, and we own or sell the product... CALL THEM!!"

What I learned, is you can make up all kinds of bullshit, in your head, but the easiest thing to do. Is call and ask... You never know, and even if you think you do. Maybe they have a different product, that solves your problem. Or they have been asked the same question a few times... and know the answer.

But the best thing to do... JUST TRY! Get on the phone! Get in someone's face...and TRY! ASK!!! Don't make up the answers... Get them.

Also, in our internet age, they are swamped with Cowardly E-Mails. These days, they are much happier to just get a phone call, A phone call goes faster, and Gets you to your destination faster. Instead of a 3 day E-mail exchange.... with an e-mail switchboard.

CALL!!!! Ask!!!!


Hard day!!!! but Get'em!!!

Kill them!!!!
Kick ass!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


#30DaysOfContent #9

There is a book by Pema Chodron

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

It's about, when we become Groundless. This is very similar to when, all the "Realities" that we thought we knew, blow up in our face. When what we thought was Real, unravels. Which reflects, just how tenuous our realities are.

I'm not a big believer in, Answers. What I am a Believer in, is Questions. It's the questions we ask, that are important. I'll give you one good argument, as to why? It's because, you are probably wrong about your answer(I say you, but I know it's Me as well.(I'd say We, but this is a good aside(and a good aside in an aside, in an aside(Hope I got that right?(Damn, Another two!))))).... and I bet you can prove it. We tend to believe, just what we want to believe, and not anything based on actual evidence or reasoning. Even our reasoning, can become, Just one great big attempt to 'fool ourselves'.

There is a great quote, which I won't source. "I have, what you need to see Absolute Truth; I am Brilliant, and Unloved."

We also, want to think that we can come up with the Answer, "If I do X, it's the right thing, and everything will be fine.".But the world is Dynamic, the right answer now, could be the wrong answer in 3 days. What I am getting at is The important Skill-set, is how to deal with Uncertainty. It may not be 'how you act' but 'When you act'.
With bike racing as an analogy, you may be strong enough to win the 'Sprint', and so is another Racer. The True answer is, which one of the Racers, at the right time(in the moment), makes the best decision.

This of course is where "Being Present" comes into play. In that moment, in the Flow of Uncertainty, it's the rider who is the most lucid in his actions,(and fit enough) Who can turn the moment, into action. The rider, who enters the 'Realm of Uncertain Chaos', and in that 'Cloud of War', Can be the most aware, the most "present", and can make the best decision, he or she can.
Julie remarked about people who are asleep, and I wonder if they are the people, too afraid to enter the 'Flow of Uncertainty'?... It's just a question, I don't know. People who refuse to, enter the Fray, step into the 'Cloud of war'... people who refuse to fight.

Ryan, had a good comment, I think it was before Antelope Island race, to paraphrase (sorry I'm too lazy to source), 'I'm not sure what is going to happen tomorrow, but I'm excited to find out'

An ability to accept uncertainty,
To deal with, accept, and manage the associated risk.
In that scrum, in that fight....
to then have enough awareness of action, to walk out on top.
And if we don't, we do what we can to learn, and to grow with it,
knowing we were, the better, for trying.

We can spend our lives; wondering about the answers,
but maybe the secret is to ask the questions?
Maybe the secret is to Step into the Uncertain,
To set the Wheels in motion,
Adventure forth!!!
As Sherlock Holmes would say,
'The Game, is Afoot".

To simplify;
It's not the answer to the question;
"Am I going to win?"
The important thing, might be;
"Am I going to win? I don't know, Lets find out!"

As in bike racing, so as in life!