Saturday, May 22, 2010

Just doing!

content # 20.

looks like I skipped 19..There is content... I just skipped labeling it.

Big day today, for "The mop". Its strange, thought I'm anonymous, I can't talk about it. Big Day! Banner Personal day! Big Personal Milestone. What is interesting, is it's the same banal stuff that most people would post to their facebook or Blog... and I don't get to do it, since it's something that could link from "Man behind the mop" to "the mop"

Honestly, I'm a little heart broken. I sort of broke up with someone. Someone I think very Highly of, One of those few people that you see as Very special. It killed me to do it, I ground on it all week. I guess I decided to do it today. But it just built and Built and Built... and it became inevitable. To be honest, I'm not even sure that she cares. Seems like she was ready for me to be gone. I just decided to flip the "Off" Switch... stop waisting both our time.

This is the first time, in my life... I sort of broke up with someone and I don't think we are friends. It's ... Different. I never understand, if you aren't close friends, what are you doing dating them? I guess I'm saying, It's not like we are enemies, and like I said, this is a very special woman, Absolutely amazing, But I hit the Eject button, Pulled the Ripcord, better not to prolong it. It just wasn't working, I tried... it seemed over.

I'm dying to know if it will hit me like a ton of bricks.. Like I'm in denial, right now.. and I'll take some time tomorrow and cry myself to sleep, or something ... But... It is what it is.

It seems simple; If I'm having a "Banner day", something important is happening in my life. With someone important to me, I would think I could be sharing it with them. If they aren't there for this things. What am I doing? It's also lame, I'm talking about it here... Feels Unfun!

I have to "own" something. Weeks ago, we talked about the "Coffee Woman" the one that, I went to the movie with the Angry violent sex movie. I said that she would call Last weekend, and she didn't. I was wrong.

Like I said "Big Weekend" for "The mop", 'coffee woman' is also a friend, and because we have been friends for a long time. I've known Coffee woman for over 20 years. In fact, I've known her longer than I've known my Ex. But I had to call her for Moral support on my banner day. Which means, I've blown the whole "wait for her to call" bit. BTW, I've decided to give that up... "the whole wait 2 days, if she waits 2 days"... that kind of bullshit...

If I'm too StalkerRiffic... well that is too bad, she can break up with me. Of course, she then invited me over, which I turned down.. Mostly because.. well, Things are Things, right now. There are still Walls to wash... etc.... a garden to plant. Though I needed the moral support. Hanging out, wasn't in the cards.

Well... continued Craziness with "The mop" I promise... never a dull moment!

Worts and all...

It doesn't feel like, I'm giving you "Full Mop Joy" Right now... I'm going to try harder...

But I'm "Just doing" right now... and it is what I have.

Is this content?... proly not... but ... it is what I have.

No comments: