Been trying to....

I've been working on this post for hours.

Escalation.

I have no idea, where you are, and my most recent.... I'm trying, so hard to be nice.

I umn... Received and email, from the..... Little Woman.

I'm very mixed up right now, ... and It has my head spinning.

I don't know what to write about it....

I'm mostly over it... It's like I'm leaving a window Ajar. This I imagine is a mistake.

I've never had that "Hate vs Hate" relationship. My relationships, are generally about love, Maybe that is the problem here, Maybe with some people, there is so much hate and anger.... It's just ... Some people have something called "Emotional Vocabulary" maybe there is only those 2 or three for some people. maslow's hierarchy of One dimensional Emotions.... and it is all hate and Anger and Fear and that is it.

Many Years ago, there was a woman, and she ..... I really hate her. There are some people, who see themselves as so untouchable. Me.... I don't give a shit! But the problem comes, when "She", decides, that I don't give a shit about her... Which is true.. But suddenly she thinks that is compelling. Then wants me to pay attention to her.... And once I do, then that is it... She has what she needs, and she moves on....

I've delt with this same personality type many times, and they hate that you know the game.

That has been my question... Is that the game... Is that what I've been playing at....

and worse... anything I say... tends to be an escalation... Its like some kind of challenge of perfection.....

I don't know about you, but I know I'm turning into my dad.. I know the impulse... and it's there... and it's not unless you realize it, that you can deal with it... but it will always be a nagging Monkey on your back.

Ahhhhh..... Heck!!!(hey... I'm trying not to swear like a sailor)... I know most of this doesn't make much sense... and it's just Rantings....

Like I said.... she just.... It's just the Nonsense... and the Nonsense I was trying to avoid... but she couldn't do it.

I seem to be mostly over it....

I'm moving on.... I know there is better than this.... I know I'm due... something better than this.

Here is the new drama, the old Girlfriend, from 14 years ago... the one I really hate.... Well, I just emailed her. If i'm lucky, she won't answer..... I guess if I'm Exercising demons.... I best Bring out the GrandDaddy!!! THE GRAND RED DRAGON OF My DEMONS. I guess if we are going to play this game... or if I'm going to play this one... I may as well summon the Grand Daddy of all my Demons.

I've seen things... you people wouldn't believe!!