So, there was a time when.... When I was a kid I was a fairly intense kid. I also wasn't raised on T.V. Until I was 8 or so. Living on a ranch with Miles and miles to explore like Huck fin... Well I don't have that ADD most of you have. I've talked about it before, how most of you... and many of the younger and Gen Y.... DRIVE ME UP A WALL. Because you can't seem to do the same thing for more than 10 minutes....
You are T.V. Babies, those short bursts of 7 minute data from tv broken up by 30 seconds of Someone screaming at you to buy some crap, had destroyed your brain... it's why twitter rocks and Blogger sucks... Cause all you have is 140 Characters in you. "I'm taking a Crap" "Lance Lays down" #supermac18
and While I'm at it... This Jon and Kate Goslin thing... I can totally see why he dumped her ass. It's one thing to marry a Bitch, but then to have her Screaming at you about the 20 Kids she popped out... and that she dresses her hair up to look like a Peacock or some shit.... Both of them don't realize they arn't 20 anymore.... But he is no 'Catch'... And as a Dad.. I'd buy a Tranquilizer Gun.. and he doesn't have to use that on Kate every time.. he can use it on those damn kids... Perfectly Justifiable to own a Shock Collar when you have that many kids... Seriously there should be some Rule that if you have more than 5 kids within 5 years of each other... You should be able to use "Extreme Measures".
I'm just saying!!!
I would think that most of you, through some minor Interaction or another. May have caught on that I can Seriously focus on something... I guess you could classify it as some Obsessive Tendencies. What I'm getting at is that, if you are the Focus of my attention... It's not as Pleasant as you would think.
And for the most part, if I get going... I can kind of stick the Knife in and Turn it Just Right.... and do it just to amuse myself.
For most of us, who have Dated.... Well, Let me just say 3 weeks of intense focus is no way to seduce woman, in fact it gets just down right Creepy. At a young age, I realized that I had no choice but to slow play Woman. ... But still there is sort of this Lazer beam thing that goes off... and it just isn't a Joy for anyone. I'm not saying I go all "Say Anything" on them... It's just hard to explain.
I'm not even excluding other types of relationships, Even friends or... Relatives... I guess it's sort of like I'm indifferent, until I'm not.... And I kid you not Even if I work for you, It's all fun and games until you tell me how I could run my life or do my job better... and you are about to get an earful.
I had a friend I used to work for, and periodically he would call with projects. about 3 years ago, I told him... "Now I'm getting older, and I can't fuck around on these projects like I used to. If we start this project, we are going to Finnish it... and if you start fucking around and delay things and drag it out. I'm done!" Well he didn't take me seriously, and after working on a project for 2 weeks we were called off. He Called me back up wanted me back on the project... I told him "sorry! you knew the rules, I explained them before we started, I explained it in the middle. You want to fuck around, you find someone else."....
Well he lays down all this shit about how I owe him, and how I'm screwing the project... bla bla bla. Well that was it, I layed down for about 20 minutes about all the laws he breaks. How I could have him Fined by the labor Commission. How He acts like a 14 year old boy. And how he could never find anyone with my skills to work like that. The way he treats me like I'm stupid, and I just let him get away with it because I don't want to call his Bullshit Card. How he will never find anyone to do what he wants until he pays 4X the money. How his skills are a fucking joke, he doesn't understand even the most rudimentary engineering principles. How everyone in the industry thinks he is a fucking joke, and can only pull down out of town projects because they don't know him or his Lack of Follow through, and the only Clients he can keep are ones I deal with, because I spend most my time mothering his ass mostly because he acts like he is 12 years old... and is Completely full of shit, and to not even try to make a phone call to me, cause he is fucking Done....
Just saying you don't want to get on my bad side, I'm not going to burn down hour house, but if you step up to me... I'll shut your ass down.
I don't talk about this, my Grandfather used to go into one of the magna bars with all the Copper miners, and was willing to kick any one's ass who wanted some. Just saying.... I come from an intense blood line.
So.... at about 18 I found this little trick... this sort of magic mellowing trick... This sort of thing I could ingest and all the Crap that goes through my head... all the Demons that Chase me all day, well it slowed them down. For about 10 years or so, that sort of kept me from tearing things apart... but... at one point I decided to give all that up.
and well... Now it's back to Aggressive Asshole.... I had a friend who was 2 hours late Just one too many times, and after Repeated warnings, didn't listen. Decided to hold me up one day, so I could stand Waiting for 2 hours... I haven't talked to them since. It's not holding a Grudge, but when someone talks about how busy they are, and that is why they are late. Not realizing that You are busy too, and that at one point you are just too busy to wait for someone for the 4thousandth time.... I'm not only too busy to hear how busy you are, But how if instead of Getting to dinner, they just show up to the Restaurant and wait for you until they get sick of it. And if I ever miss them, I'll just go stand in a Street or something for 2 hours, and remember all the good times.....
I've talked about how much I hate the phone, Girl Friend of mine used to want to call me every day or every other day and just Chat.... After a few days of it, That was it I quit answering the phone. Either you want to come over or not... and either we are going to plan to do something on the weekend or not.... But the Hell if I'm going to spend an hour on the phone everyday.
This was my schedule today.
Up at 2am... Personal stuff till 2:30
I made Cornbread for 30 minutes.
Work 6:30 through 2:30PM
That is 11 hours of work and it's only 2:30...
I took a nap for 15 minutes.
Ride the bike 5-6pm
6:30 work and watch the news- 7:30.
now I'm warn out, so I decided to take the rest of the evening off and listen to music and Bang at the keyboard for an hour or so. I'll be done with this about 9:30, I'll probably read some research papers that I'm trying to get through, if not I have a couple books about economics.
at one point I'll fall asleep and wake up at 2 or 3am... and start again...
So I guess what I'm getting at is that if you step into my Realm... I look at you and decide if you need to be Fixed or Dealt with... I throw you through the washing Machine or whatever... and you are done... anything else... any "Can you just stop for a while and....."
Nope... Seriously... the Daemons are after me... and if I stop they catch up.. and it just takes to much time to get them off of me......
So I guess those daemons are just going to have to chase!!
I hope you know what movie the above is from. Maybe I died in an LSD experiment 15 years ago, and I still haven't figured it out.
... I don't know. WHAT THE FUCK! sandros... Fucking inhaler??..... My Repertoire of Asthma inhaler movies just isn't that long!
See.. that is an example... that is just me at normal Volume... Sorry Sandros it just isn't that big a deal.... it's just me without my good behavior on.
If any of you are more familiar with my writing, you realize that every once in a while the sand in my fingers just slips through... My personal Tolerance meter for most people just doesn't go that high.
I was working for someone, and one of the employees stepped completely out of line with me.. I had to shut them down... I never understand why at work you aren't so busy working that you can get involved in a bunch of bullshit. But the boss came to me and asked me if I wanted them Fired, I said it was up to them, that that wasn't my Call... but that what that employee did, reflected on the Boss, and that was what I was concerned about. So I was very concerned about what the boss was going to do about it. The boss gave them a Warning. I said, "Ok, that is fine. But if this is the kind of workplace they wanted it was going to cost them Twice as much to have me contract for them." .. They said it wasn't acceptable and went out to find someone else, who wanted 4x as much... After that I told them I wanted 5 times as much.... And trust me .. I work so hard i'm a deal at Twice that Figure.... but nope hire someone to nickle and dime you and milk every project for ever dollar they can get.
I was on a project once and busted out a calculator and laid out a flow chart of this project, The Project manager said "You can't bust through all that math and come out with the right numbers and have it work."
I said, "the hell I can't. "
He called the owner of the company, he didn't think it could be done the way I had done it.... All I'm talking about here is coming up with a Clear plan that lays out the settings in advance and uses math to optimise the system... but the Owner said "Oh that won't work, you just have to do it manually as you go."
2 days later after we laid it all out and went through the settings Manually.. then spent half a day debugging the first 2 systems, which were wrong... I pulled out my Chart... Said "Try this"... Everything Dialed in Perfectly, once we ditched the manual Crap and went to the Model. 6 hours later it was all Ready to go. 20 min of tweaking it was done. The Project manager told me "he was sure it wouldn't work." I said that that was because he was a moron and hadn't paid any attention in math Class.. he said "but the boss agreed it couldn't be done." ... I said "Ya, that is because he is a fucking moron too."
next project I had the Project manager's Job.... they begged me for the equations... I said "my teaching rate is 100X my salary."
I was listening to some utah economics professors a few days ago, talking about health care. One was saying "Well if people don't pay for it, then it will be more expensive because they will have all these unneeded procedures." Ok dumbfuck... Explain to me why I want to break a leg! or why I want to sit and wait 4 hours to get an X-Ray or 6 hours of my day to get an MRI. Where is the Joy in Getting a Chlamydia test... Had the doc grab your nuts and check for a Hernia?.... Every had your Prostate checked?..... GOOD TIMES!!! sign me up for 2.... And this DUMB BITCH teaches at the University of Utah.
BLA BLA BLA!!!!
What really kills me is that most of these people just find it easy... they just roll around in this Haze of Narcissism with their head up their ass. And it's all golden, and you need to give it to them... what ever it is... It's theirs and they deserve it.... Like Jon and Kate.. think they are fucking 20 and Pimp their family off to TLC... When it's like looking at a Family of Dinosaurs in a Cage! WTF did you think it was a good idea to have 8 kids... and the first 4 weren't enough.... Mostly because if kate had more kids she wouldn't have to get a job! 4 more kids... or a Job... hmmm tough choice. I know I'll have 4 kids, spawning like a Puppy. Then spend all day whining about how fucking hard it all is, and need a show on TLC just to pay for them...... That is the shit Healthcare insurance shouldn't pay for... Erections and so that you can have 4 fucking kids... It may be fine if you don't have kids... but Shit... if you already have a few... Just let it Be! And if you can't get an erection.. lets start with no more fucking potato chips soda's and all the chemicals in the Meat....
enough said... there are a few people who can't fucking stand me! and for good reason. It's part of why this blog is easy for me, as opposed to interacting with people.