One of the things that strikes me. I look around at the woman around me. I see impossible relationships, ones that are friendships. It's good, it's healthy. People far away as well as woman who I know won't date me.

Then there are the dysfunctional ones. I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago. She was talking about something, I said...."that is not what she told me 6 months ago" she lead me to believe something completely opposite. She was lying now or she was lying then. A direct lie. Either way she was leading me to believe she was someone who she wasn't. I was like....

I guess for the most part I must be too honest, I guess I should accept all the lying that goes on. I just feel stupid when it's like I'm being taken advantage of.

Where is that In between woman..... where is she....

I was talking to .... I keep wanting to think that I'm just not seeing this right woman. I'm too caught up in bullshit. Somehow she is invisible.... but ... I take a count of the woman in my life. It's like some kind of polar opposite thing.

I was talking to a friend.... It's just that woman who can just hang on for long enough. One that can just manage to not throw furniture at me or spend 3 hours telling me shit she hates about me.... well that I already hate about myself.... Ya! Lady, I'm working on it. If you shut your pie hole for long enough to let me deal with it. I could start working on it.....

But when do I get my Tirade.... when do I get to say "You are an ungrateful Bitch! I spent three hours trying to fix that thing you were complaining about..... When will you extend that same courtesy....

bla bla bla.....
Where is the woman who can just love me for a while. I mean... I'm just asking for one every other month... or half of one every month.

When do I get to have a tantrum..... Maybe I should have more or something.... maybe my expectations are too high.

Where is all the new wine.