on thrift and booze

I'm going to try something new. I'm going to try and write and give it until the morning to publish it. I want to write an essay about writing, my writing.

One of the things this blog used to have was honesty. That was when it was best. I actually regret the fact it's harder to be honest. I think that honesty is the best part of real writing. That is much of what I would like to start getting back to.

It's also funny, sometimes I have an idea and I spit it out....... well 3 sentences later.... I've said it and that is the ball game. One paragraph....

I cracked open my last beer..... I'm hoping something can open the flood gates here.

I've really been metaphorically picking myself up off the floor for the past few months. Don't ask me why..... don't ask me how I got there.... Sort of an entangled mess of ... well when things are a mess or a Knot of tangled nonsense. Obviously it's impossible to explain a tangle web that to describe it as anything besides just that.

I sort of wish I could get really drunk and just wallow in it and get it all out. I am so filled with hate. If I mix that with my own self loathing for my lack of super hero status.... other various self loathing. Here it is 9pm and I want the day to end.... and I don't want tomorrow to start.... but it will, if I want it to or not.