Saturday, May 11, 2013

It's the old wounds...

Chased by demons, fairly aggressively, today. I don't know what it is, well sort of. Watching Black Swan Didn't help.... WTF a stabbing.... but I digress.

Lots of memories, unkind memories... why now.... why today... Just to remind me I guess. I must need a reminder.

Why am I chased by all these demons. I don't deserve them. It's like being locked in another person's hell. Foolishly I tolerate it. I said.... a few years ago.... Life is like a great melodrama. Those were the good old days. Those were those halcyon days, when I felt like it was all in front of me. I guess it was, who knew it was going to be like this.... I guess you never know.

There is a duality in people. Someone said there are 3 people. Their Self then their Secret self.... I think the third was the crazy self. I don't buy that. The duality seems like "the person" then the things that person does to survive.... I think someone said Morals are not things we discard when things get tough, those are hobbies. But in that duality... are they rotten..... or broken...

I just want to get some sleep.... just want it all to go away... never does.

I can't even drink enough to really make it go away...

chasing demons. .... it's the old wounds.

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