I still really fucking hate you.

   A few days ago I had that feeling. The feeling that the future was in flux. That there was a future out there that    was not anything I could imagine. A future where the players are unknown, where the board is not one I've seen. I think I just hope that somehow the rules I recognize   I realize I had become groundless. Which is good to be honest. A clean slate for the future.....

    A day ago..... things started to flow. The flow of the world started to pump it's breath back into me. It felt like a cool clean glass of water had finally touched my lips. Like my feet had hit the trail.

Like moments of lucidity. Feelings of clear and centered guidance a world which moved under my feet, where the sun shined, where clear healthy winds blew and filled my lungs with a delicious elixir. Head held high..... a body stirred.

Still some of the darkness lingers. It still holds me in it's grasp... Still I can see and feel it's tendrils. Still they make me tremble.... They still startle me and stop my breath...... Just breath..... Just breath.....

refrain the title.