Friday, July 17, 2009

I find myself

Since I refuse to take the time to "Proof Read" or even Re Read...

Ya... Sorry... that would take even more of the time I don't actually have.

Just wanted to point out that... As the Turbo lovefest continues... or as I filled out the form yesterday... my current obsession with Turbo's post, would have been a better answer for current obsession.

It's hard to restate, But Ryan I'm not saying you should do one thing or another. or that one reality is Real... Maybe reality is coming to terms with "Where you are"... Wherever that is.

Right ... What is one of my bullshit sayings...... No matter where you go...... There you are..... and that is the reality...

That is the Enigma of what I'm Getting at...

It's like my situation on the bike, I'm getting there.... I'm improving every few weeks.... Everything hurts. My improvement has been Solid.... I should be super happy about it... But still I'm Fucking slow, and "Real Riders" drop me like I'm a rock... ok like I'm a wet rag(I have no idea what the hell that means). But I'm not being outriden by girls, or Weekend warriors for the most part... I feel like I'm coming into (some kind of)form.

So the Reality of it is that I should be happy and satisfied and if I just keep going I'll get stronger and get where I want to be....... But.... then there is the side of me that is unhappy about not being strong enough to stay on just about anyone's wheel, and even drop a few "Strong" riders.

One is the reality of where I am, One is the Illusion of Where I want to be. Then there is also the Reality of how far I've come this season....

Reality Vs. the Illusion.... But the truth is... I'm aware of all of it... Without that Lucidity... I'd have no hope, no chance.... I'd just be spinning my wheels.

Ok... that is it with my bullshit obsession....

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