Adventures of Cycleberry Finn

For those that Follow me on Twitter(Jebus I hate Twitter). Today seemed like a great day to put in some miles, so I figured... Leave early and put in some miles. bring a book and read at a park.

I always struggle with what to eat on the road, I hate stopping at convenience stores. It's just a bitch just to get some water and some Bike snacks. I have some frozen pancakes in the freezer. I figured I'd try and put some jelly on a pancake and take it on the bike ride, that and my usual Banana and... a few other things.... So; a book, a banana, a pancake with Peanut butter and Jelly.. This Ashtray.... The lamp.... The Paddle Game

and I was off, Like Huck Finn, Pockets full of crap ready for a long ride...

I felt good even though I was about 20 pounds heavier. As I rolled down the road, I kept noticing that that Awful Puncture weed

Tribulus Terrestis, BTW has been claimed to boost testosterone and has been found to act as a aphrodisiac in animals.... also used as a diuretic and nervine.

As I rode I could see the vines slowly reaching into the road like a giant Octopus, As I was getting very nervous and avoided some close calls, Suddenly there was literally a pile of Vegetative Crap in the road... I imagine some "Clean Up" crew decided to leave massive piles of crap left along the roadside.... Well Enough said... about 1 mile to the park of my destination I was hot footing it under a softening Tire.

As I switched out the tire, I checked the other Wheel and it looked fine..... But we all know "Blown tires tend to happen in Two's.

Let me just say that this story is about half as interesting as it was in my head before I wrote it... Maybe I'm rushing and should take a break.... Should I let you know I'm going to step away for a while? WTF not...

Well this spoile my perfect afternoon to sit and read... I sat for a few minutes with my book and decided it was better to move on.... After eating my pancake. Well.... How did it Digest? you ask? a few days ago I managed to drink way too much water, then I ran out of Juice for recovery, ended up using Milk... HOLY GASTRIC DISTRESS!!! I was in Pain for 2 hours, and just layed there.... I guess my point is the Peanut butter was a little rough, but I think could be gotten used to. I have one of my Illconcieved theories that if I put myself into Gastric distress I'd be less suceptible to it or I'd at least be able to say

"Gastric Distress" you don't know Gastric Distress... I once ate 4 cheesburgers on an 80 mile ride!!! SO.... You know....

Well to avoid those same roads a second time I managed to try and Beat out some new routes... of course. Why when you beat out a new route, it's more likely that you run into the same problem you had last time you looked for a new route in the same place... and you end up comming to the same conclusion you did last time you tried...... "YOU JUST CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE!".

I know I'm only 30 blocks away and yet... I have to go on some roads that you wouldn't even want to walk on.......

Finaly I get out of the Fucking Shit in the hinterland of Rose Park! and I'm 10 miles from home and know all the roads. Just a long sprint home when!!!!! Yep You guessed it... the other tire starts going soft...

Well another day another Tube!!!

And yes they come in Two's....

Even though I didn't quite get as many miles in.... Sitting under a Tree

listening to Blond on Blond.... even changing tires... Isn't all that bad.

and for your pleasure.

Girl with the leopard skin pill box hat!

Rider down...

Well... had my first fall... and it was at a light one.

You never know how that shit happens, all I know is I was sitting there, I started to fidget at the light. Suddenly the bike is falling over and pulling me with it.

I did decide the proper response to such a situation is to stand up and do a Victory Salute

I think the last time I was dry humping the Tarmack was a cold day a few years ago... Light wouldn't chance and I had to go over and push the fucking button. Nothing is more charming than trying to turn 160 degrees at a dead stop on an irregular surface.

That is my excuse and I'm sticking with it. That is certainly one of those moments where all the people in cars around you say "I don't understand that sport.... Why would you strap yourself to some infernal Contraption and push yourself down a road at 30 MPH"

House of the Midnight Taco!

The stress of riding and work has me this week. I don't intend to whine... It just has me. Every day still on the bike, but the legs have nothing. I may have to do some research figure out what else I can do. The Brain is burning all the calories, Wish I could just eat for the head.... That sounded fucked up.

So, I umn had the Hebie Gebies and had to take a midnight walk. Out there sorting out the.... whatever.

It's one of those times where suddenly you look around and realize that you are out with the "I've got to have a Midnight Taco!" Crowd. Yep.... White minivan 300 pounds Can't figure out that at midnight you have to use the drive through at Taco Bell...

They ate some brownies and now they have the Noid!!!

Sir...it's called being paranoid...

Step away from the Redwings game!

boogyman

managed a little of the boogyman today... I've given up my Sunday FakeUmentaries on discovery channel and the like, no more watching truckers change a tire for an hour.....


So then I'm left on Sunday to sit and stew in my own demons.

Oh!!!

And Sleevie Is KILLING IT this year!!!

GO Sleevie!!!

Ramble Ramble tumbleweed

I'm trying to spare you the rambling post, i've been so good at.

I still feel like hell on the road, and Pain just about everywhere. I did clean the bike yesterday, should have about 1 pound less Road Grime. Made me want to pull the whole thing apart and give it a good once over. Just what I need mid season... A whole new "bike Drama".

You know... Figure out if my pain is just the normal breakdown build up of getting fit.
It's been all salads all the time, but finally I actually ate some proper food thursday. But I think I need to Keep on the Lawn Clippings, and the long rides for a few weeks.
Who am I kidding! I make a mean Salad!

Tired Pluss some

Coach Ryan, who is not my coach. If you saw my form, it would confirm, he is not my coach. But after whining a few days ago about the heat, he had a reminder that 90 and sunny isn't perfect but it's damn close.

So I wen't out and a dog tried to eat me, but I got in a ton of good miles. Then today I made a fun run to frontage road, see if he could catch me, or see if I could leave after he did, and not get found....

I was riding up the river valley to frontage, saying "this is almost the dumbest ride I've ever done, I have no intent to go south or go up suncrest... WTF am I doing"

so, Tired... Just checked the heart rate, and after Many more miles in the past 3 days than I've done this season... The old heart rate is 60, Hopefully it will go down.

but I get home, have dinner and recovery.... Sit in my office chair, fall asleep, then move to lay in bed and watch T.V.... Fall Asleep then put the covers on, Fall Asleep till 10pm....

hmmmm..... that isn't a very interesting story....

Hey I tried!!

Empty

A week of salads and fish.... I think the tank is empty.... that and... I keep skrewing with my bike position, one would think I'd go get fit, but it seems to me that it takes a few days to sort out if the position is correct.

and... Since I'm an eternal Tweaker!!!!!

Doh! i'm that driver

The other day, I'm pulling out of the driveway. pull to the street, to make my way onto the road. I'm Fucking with the Radio, It's hot. sorting out the air conditioner..... The whole bit.

road clears and I pull out...

as I do, Sure enough... there is a runner waiting for me to pull out... Cause she knew.... I had my head up my ass, and was ready to kill her, if I got the chance.....

FUCK!..... I'm that Driver...

I don't drive much, maybe 2 times a week at most. When Gas got expensive, I just decided I was sick of it, I do much less than 20 miles per week in the car... Groceries.. I'll even walk most of the time....

that is my first lame excuse....

Don't get me wrong.... I was completely at fault... COMPLETELY... I was, I guess we all do, but analyzing my "Risk Management" on my traffic rule following and even trying to convince myself that Confrontation with drivers may not be the best thing. Even though a dose of "you almost killed me" is something some drivers need.....

On the bike, I notice that many runners run on the wrong side of the road, and maybe I even read it, but there is even a camp of runners that think that it's the best thing. Just as there may be a few cyclists... Only... I think in cycling it's become fairly clear that you need to ride with traffic, and not against it.... because for the most part drivers don't expect to find somebody riding up the wrong side of the street.

I would think that would apply to runners too!..

but to each their own, it is their safety at risk.....

Same as it ever was!

The goal early season was to get some more aggressive Cleat position. I gave in and moved them back It's like it used to be now. I've also managed to get back to the old diet...

I had some Halibut and some salad, for dinner... I was like "this is it" and I guess it was. that and my omelet this morning. That has been going on for a few days now.

but it would be good to hit some kind of reasonable cycling weight. My body fat was coming down but the weight was maintaining.... may have to run some sessions of "fat Camp"

and I'm starting to feel better... Well that and the Creatine.

On the ride I was a bit.... Knackered... but It was an easy day, tomorrow will be the test. but I totally drilled it today, average speed on flat 20mph for an hour... And the watts were there.

I'm not sure the cleats are even.... lol, that will be for tomorrow....

Like you Fucking Care!!!

so... the point was...

Jrad is being quiet,

Tbird is gearing up for Tofu

Ryan is struggling with the 15k Dream

Sandy is ... Struggling with the Waving issue.

Louder is Nostalgic

others are... as others are....

Lance is trying to win the tour.

Levi is disappointed again

The mop is stretching his Moral and philosophical... Muscles... to near annoyance....

It's like the world is back in Redux...

Good lord help us all...

Lets hope things improve and don't just stay the same....

Turning Squares

biggest buzzword of this tour is "Turning Squares". You can almost name the tour based on the buzzwords being used during it. What was last year "reclaim the tour.".... and the year before.... "Jacked full to the gills".

My legs have had the hurt in them... all over. I messed with cleat position because one of them was giving me some grief. then the other one started hurting to make because it had new stress at the new mileage.

So... I'm Out today, getting some miles in... wondering if I need to make some adjustments... maybe even dedicate a ride to making the adjustments, or god save me, pull out the rollers.

But I'm out... and I realize that much of the problem is ..... "That I'm turning Squares"... and most the stress is because I'm pounding away at the pedals and don't have that good fluid motion....

Fuck!

I find myself

Since I refuse to take the time to "Proof Read" or even Re Read...

Ya... Sorry... that would take even more of the time I don't actually have.

Just wanted to point out that... As the Turbo lovefest continues... or as I filled out the form yesterday... my current obsession with Turbo's post, would have been a better answer for current obsession.

It's hard to restate, But Ryan I'm not saying you should do one thing or another. or that one reality is Real... Maybe reality is coming to terms with "Where you are"... Wherever that is.

Right ... What is one of my bullshit sayings...... No matter where you go...... There you are..... and that is the reality...

That is the Enigma of what I'm Getting at...

It's like my situation on the bike, I'm getting there.... I'm improving every few weeks.... Everything hurts. My improvement has been Solid.... I should be super happy about it... But still I'm Fucking slow, and "Real Riders" drop me like I'm a rock... ok like I'm a wet rag(I have no idea what the hell that means). But I'm not being outriden by girls, or Weekend warriors for the most part... I feel like I'm coming into (some kind of)form.

So the Reality of it is that I should be happy and satisfied and if I just keep going I'll get stronger and get where I want to be....... But.... then there is the side of me that is unhappy about not being strong enough to stay on just about anyone's wheel, and even drop a few "Strong" riders.

One is the reality of where I am, One is the Illusion of Where I want to be. Then there is also the Reality of how far I've come this season....

Reality Vs. the Illusion.... But the truth is... I'm aware of all of it... Without that Lucidity... I'd have no hope, no chance.... I'd just be spinning my wheels.

Ok... that is it with my bullshit obsession....

Banter Pluss....

In my mind this played out like a Turbo Love fest.... and I saw a post on his blog.

So. Ryan posts a post, the Jist of it is "Struggling with Reality". Let me just say Reality is fungible, 90%+ if not 99% of us are Clueless, I'm not even that "high on my own shit" so say that I'm in the 1%... If you asked me, I'd say the great struggle for all of us is with Reality. And yet the most functional of us, don't struggle at all, and proceed through their delusions for all of their lives.


I guess that is to say... Reality is overrated!

Realize, I drank a couple beers Post 'The Black Keys' and my last beer was in the spring, and the one before that was in the fall. Not that I'm going Straight edger, but it's part of my new thing... As well part of it is to "not be a Zealot".. Cause there is nothing like a Zealot!! But thanks to the T-Bird for the Black Keys.... but I'm fairly sure I gave him Bob Log III... So Even....

Now that that is cleared up, What some of you don't know.... I'd imagine that there would be some supposition about "What happened to 'The Mop'" .... Was it about "the broom" or about "something else" or Just my desire to fade back into the Nether Regions.... and even writing this paragraph is about as narcissistic as I can get, without vomiting.

What I'm getting at, is that Ryan's post reminded me about What happened. I don't talk to people... my life is that of a monk, and a friend of mine drank coffee with me till about 5am, me shooting espresso till I started sweating out of the back of my knees. During that conversation It just occurred to me that my life needed to change. There is sort of a point at about 24 when you realize you need to Get a Life, and it seems like in your 30's you realize... your going to lose your life. Therefore it's time to Get off your ass, and live your life. That is where I hit, in the shower, sweating out the back of my Knees. It was time to work on being whatever it was I could be, and to fight for my potential.


I guess here I am.... sort of on the other side of that at this point.... I'm sort of Bloody, sort of Scarred.... Like the phoenix Born of fire..... here I am again... Still Haunted, and Nagged. Still Suffering, still fighting. What is it that is Born of the Ashes of that fire? I don't' know.... We are still working on that.... me, The Mop, The Max, Batman, and the Wolverine!.... Still working on Being a Better person, still working on enlightenment...... Always there is "The work". But There is now a new Lucidity to me... It's painful, and I live with stress and on the edge about 110 hours a week. It's nasty and hateful, and it get's ugly..... I can say, that for a large part, I can be a very unpleasant person to be around!

I had a friend struggling with Reality...... I asked Which is it that you struggle with? 'The Great and secret show' or 'The great work'? That is sort of a Clive Barker Reference... I'd explain it, but I'd have to kill you!... The difference is for you to ponder...

But to me... it's not those that Struggle with Reality that you should worry about, it's those who don't have the sense to struggle with it.

these days... I tend to assess people based on.... "do they walk a Razors edge"... the edge between Trickery and divinity... Between the great Illusion, and those glimpses of reality that sometimes seem so fleeting.... Those are the good people...

It's that struggle, it's those people that I think are 'the great ones'...... everyone else just tends to have their head up their ass!

You want the Truth.... You can't handle the truth!!!

Well Now

Kelly threw out a tag.... and some hidden part of me loves a tag... but I can't admit it.... except that I sort of just did. and she probably doesn't read the blog. and even if she did she wouldn't admit it.... and it's been lame these days...

Trying to generate some momentum to check out the black Keys.... I mean.. I never leave the house except to grocery shop and ride the bike.

1. What is my current obsession? Riding my bike. Also Thomas Paine, Gordon Ramsay... Ya... we all have tons to answer for, but Gordon does cool stuff like raises pigs in is urban garden, to teach his kids where food comes from, and then they eat them, after caring for them for months.
   
2. What do you hate that everyone else seems to love? Bank Stocks, Jones Brothers, American Idol, America's got tallent. Michael Jackson.
3. What are you Wearing today? Shorts T-Shirt... same as it ever was.
4. What is for dinner? Probably a salad... tough thing, I need more roughage.
5. What would you eat for your last meal? Wings!!! In fact, I'd like to die by hotwing!
6. Last thing I bought? Groceries, almost got a gatorade on a ride but couldn't find the cash in my pack.
7. What am I listening to right now? The TV switched over to the Yoga, as schedualed... which I never do. but the TV is too far away to get to.
8. What do you think of the person who tagged me? Kelly has a Great honest way about her. she didn't really tag me...
9. If you could have a house fully paid for and totally funrished where woudl it be? I'd like a nice Cabin, or a Beach house.
10. If I could go anywhere in the next hour... Where? Nice 80-90 deg beach ...
    
11. What is one of my hobbies? Gardening. Tinkering.... I always wanted to Cooper, 200 years ago I'd have been a cooper.
12. What is your favorite quote? I can't say it... first thing that came to mind is a Bukowsky quote.....
13. Favorite color? Blue... Dark Blue
14. Favorite piece of clothing... I have a dark green Fleece
15. Dream job? I was thinking about being a bar fly a few days ago, I was a Trout Bum for 6 months
16. describe your personal style? I'm caught in 90's grunge... need to move on... but how?
17. Favorite tree? I have this great Pagoda tree. Throws this huge Canopy of shade.
18. What am I going to do after this? Kit up
19. Favorite fruit? I eat a ton of apples... but an in season Mango is out of control... but you have to go to asia.
20. What inspires you? I'm not sure I know the inspiration you talk of... I like being Curious about new things. Maybe its a tell about me. but I'm unrepairable.
21. Who was athe last person I kissed? There was this woman I was dating till about christmas.
    
22. What are you currently reading?Working on Homer.. been working on it through 6 other books and for about a year.
23. go to my bookshelf take first book down with red binding turn to 26 type first line: Rumpled and sun roasted, graham didn't look like a federal investigator
24. What delighted you the most today. eh....
25. if your life had a theme song, what would it be. Can't think of one
26. if you bought a wiener dog today, what would you name it? George
27. what is the character trait or habit of yours that you inherited from one of your parents? Ability to make things more complicated than they need to be.

ok... have to ride the bike and convince myself to get out and see the world ... and be asshole to elbo with all the other nutjobs at Galvin.

Mid season

Feels like midseason meltdown. All kinds of sideways...... Momentum. from everyone...

My booring Pink Floyd story

I was up for this job with this sound company MANY years ago! And on the job site I heard Pink Floyd Division Bell.

I said, "Jesus this is crap, Floyd really hasn't done anything since roger waters left. Not that the stuff Roger waters is turning out is anything to write home about."

The guy I was trying to schmooze said. "Well I put it on, and I think it's some of the best stuff they have ever done!."'

Ya....

1. Piper
2. Meddle
3. Animals
4. Saucer
5. everything with Waters, but the wall was the last great album, and it is more obvious that I like. but great if you are 16.
6. everything post waters till 90(TO be honest Final cut and Momentary)
7. then Whatever Bullshit they published after 1990

They umn... didn't give me any work.

Tired

Everything has me Worked, I kicked the workouts up a notch again.... to the point I need to think about the Long routes, but also doing serious watage durring the week. doing some form of climb with my ride, or putting in solid distance....

During the week.

Leaving at 5 and coming back at 7 or 8 at night is a thing.... something to adjust too.

Saw and talked to a Charming Young lady yesterday.... reminded me of part of why I do this... Not that being healthy isn't it's own reward.

but... I'm worked.. Need some down time.... Probably still going to ride but....

see.. now

if I do a set of whining I can be found.... Ugh... Went out to Camp williams, that road is full of construction....

and it was painful.... at one point this is going to stop hurting.... I used to have so much more base....

I look down and suddenly it's 10 miles and I start dragging.... Which is why we do the longer distances right....

but shit....

I did find some improved Routes to get out there.... it just seems like everything is under construction...

Wall Climbing Spiderman!!!

Trying to get out and do some riding, I'm tempted to ride downtown, Not sure I want to ride that section of the parkway that the "Weird dudes use". But that slow distance would be a good target for the day.

This Twitter thing.... hell of a distraction, I'd love to sit and read a book today. I just tend to have more to say than one can fit in 140 CHR.

and yet here I am, and I have nothing.

my easiest route

View Larger Map

One of my routes

View Larger Map

There is one hill that one can avoid by using 7800 instead of 6200 s.

It puts the lotion on it's skin!

that is what twitter is like!

I'm working through it, it's a thing...

Long hard ride. there is this section of town that has decided round-abouts are better than stoplights..... I guess, but it's like 4 right turn lanes.

I caught a draft today. It was only for .1 of a mile, had to drop him. Figured it would look funny me in my kit, him in a boyscout Uniform. Did I mention he was pulling a larger gear than I was.... so he LT'd himself out fairly quick.

it was one of those hard rides, went on forever... but it's that much closer to Butterfield canyon and real rides

Judd Gregg

Judd gregg was just on the news talking about Healthcare, and how great private insurance is.....

IT BOTHERS THE SHIT out of me, that congress is completely full of shit, as they sit with the best health insurance in the world, the federal blue cross blue shield system.

Which is Ten times better than any insurance program you can get in the private sector. Not even covering that most insurance programs are in the business of Taking a Premium and never paying for Claims.

I guarantee that if Ted Kennedy was on any other insurance program in the private sector... he would be dead right now!

BUT what is good enough for them..... IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU..... RIGHT!!!

Judd Greg "Oh... it would be a disaster if we had a gov run program."..

OK JUDD... go get a better one from some non Federal insurance program then if it is so good! You are missing out on high quality health care......

Put your money where your mouth is you Hypocritical Prick!!

Jebus

Because of Le....Tour I have been caught up in the maddness of Le Twitter....

Look left and I guess you can Subscribe....

I'll do everything I can to not talk about my Colon.... Just to let you know... If I felt you were a close friend.... I would tell you about my colon...

I added a Don Henley song to the playlist, there are a few I like but New York Minute is about .... I just feel like I'd rather be listening to "The Cars"... if I want that stuff.

Quick Aside! when I skied... Ya I don't ski any more, I keep swearing I'll go cross Country... and maybe in a few years or something.... But I used to ski at Solitude every weekend when I could do it for $12. But I had my walkman and inside was "the Cars"... Mostly!

I feel good, Legs are messing with me, lots of minor pain....

Funny, I just checked the playlist to kill dead song links. Started playing the play list, I was like "Damn! somebody built a playlist that I Really Enjoy!... of course... that would be me...

ride.......

the new Cleat position is still messing with me..... tough to build up new muscles to compensate, that and what it's been doing to the tendons and ligaments...

BUT!!! I now have some form of base.... I can not only ride hard for quite some time, I also have some fast twitch....

It's time to get some more base.... but it's nice not to have rubber legs at 3 miles....

I am a little slow at mile 10 but.... I think it's something to build on....

one of my good base building roads is just the nasty skankiest roads..... Dusty.... hot.... and hicks and trucks and confused drivers for 7 odd miles....... of bone grinding slowness.........

at one point.... it will be time to go for "that road"....

Twitter

all the yahoos throwing up their messages.....

and yet... I'm getting tempted...

I may only be willing to do it when "Oh! Twitter is so Last year"

Stuff

I just saw this Documentary, about a guy with a devastating brain injury.

it was good... the brain is probably the most interesting organ in the body. It's also has probably the greatest ability to recover, and yet.... since it drives the car... metaphorically... it needs some help.

I don't have anything against Billy Mayes.... but it's interesting that we "Celebrate his life"... I guess I'd prefer that to MJ.... not to speak ill of the dead... I was lucky, didn't love his music, didn't love him in life......don't care that he died.

One of my friends is on vacation, my other friend that I regularly contact every day is ..... MIA... Probably dropped the phone into the toilet again...... or some other Drama.....

so... I'm here to muddle on my own.... I've also been chaffing..... Is that interesting?...

If I twittered I'd say "I Chafe"

hmmmm

So... Hell of a Tour day today. Lance was funny, and insulting...

"Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that was going to happen..."

Zabrisky is in 17... good for him.... Love the guy... but has he finished it yet... just looked it up 2006 ... Good job dave... I just spent way too much time on his web site...

So... It's so hot, but..... for the most part I've eaten dinner at 5:30-6:30 every night for 2 years or so now. Because of the heat I decided to try and eat at like 5, then ride at 6 or 7 when it started getting cool.....

Ugh..... I felt like a sausage on a bike...... Good hell, then the only cyclists I saw were "Le Tour" cyclists... ones with no hard hat, poorly fit bike, dumping their legs in the first 5 minutes of riding.... SO... people go ride the parkway...
and I don't mean to be negative about any riders. but they load up their bikes and go to the parkway... but seriously it's only a mile or 2 from just about any place in the city.... So... why not ride to it, and back... it adds a good 2 to 4 miles to the ride.... and you don't spend 20 minutes messing around with the bike rack..

it was nice to get out and be riding toward dusk.... but I need to sort out the food thing...

T.V.

I'm not sure why but... during the summer I get caught up in T.V... all winter long, I'm not interested in sitcoms and 24 and the usual nonsense....

So, here I am... Ice Road Truckers, Expedition africa, Deadliest catch, Rescue me, Dog the bounty hunter.....

I hate all of them, Ice Road Truckers seems to be a die hard battery ad and a craftsman tool ad. Worse is that it seems to be just an hour of people driving a truck. I'm not sure that is all that exciting.... OH!!! BIG STUFF! the truck broke!!!!!
. Deadliest catch is ok.... Expedition africa..... I keep waiting for Meriah to skrew me but it just doesn't happen(you know she was a miami cheerleader right!), and I just wish they all would shut the fuck up. I can't figure out how I've started watching Dog.....

And... no new season of the 2 coreys... aparently there is a feldman blog I'd prefer if he gave it up and became a twit....

I had a rough ride today... 90 degrees is tough in my current fitness... and I wonder if ... though i suffer if it will help my fitness to just nut up to the heat.....

Andy took a beating today at wimbledon, it was tough to figure out who to pull for, but then at the end Andy said something stupid and ungracious, as roger was trying to talk up his opponent... I kind of wanted roger to turn around and say.... Listen Fucker you have had 3 chances at this... if anyone is going to let somebody else try... how if you make sure you let somone else do it, who can follow through.

I'm hoping it inspires andy to kick it up just one more notch... get to the point some of the bigger players fear him. He has a great chance at the U.S. Open.

Hi Blog....

Bob: Well, to begin with, nobody, and I mean nobody, can talk a junkie out of using. You can talk to 'em for years but sooner or later they're gonna get ahold of something. Maybe it's not dope. Maybe it's booze, maybe it's glue, maybe it's gasoline. Maybe it's a gunshot to the head. But something. Something to relieve the pressures of their everyday life, like having to tie their shoes.

---

Bob: I knew it in my heart. You can buck the system but you can't buck the dark forces that lie hidden beneath the surface. The ones some people call superstitions.

T.V. babies..... been watching people killing and fucking each other for so long, they think it's normal.---

-Drugstore Cowboy

I just realized it was the fourth of july, sure I knew it was this weekend, which was why we have an extra day... but about an hour ago I realized it was today.

I paid my debt to the hat....

I remember being 20 and getting all Fucked up and checking out the fireworks. Oh drugstore cowboy is on again tonight in IFC... that will be good, I missed most of it.

Sorry Reader... start in the middle work my way out. I keep swearing I'm going to try and Write for Real. Maybe here maybe just write some short stories.... some well disciplined writing.

I wanted to go lay down in the garden, it's actually quite a restful place. Except that Mostly, I think of all the work I need to do out there. Gardens are like a Zen effort, of constant work... There is the maintenance, then there is trying to Build the garden. I have some trees that need to move, that will be a bitch to move a 20 ft Tree... but it will be better than killing it at 30 feet.

It's a long weekend, one would think I'd be rested. No! Mostly exhausted... I hate what I do... I hate it. I think most of the financial community are such chumps... It's hard, but I see such stupid mistakes. Taleb was talking about Calculation error, and inability to calculate or perceive Variables in calculations. Most these people barely know how to take a sample.

My best hope this weekend is to get some big time on the bike, I'd love to get a nice 4 hour ride in... maybe tomorrow night depending on how I feel... still that little nag in my knee I have the Cleat placement right..... but need to watch out, if I don't make sure it heals I'll fight it all season. Out with the "Le Tour" riders today, weird riders that I've never seen.... I feel like one of them... one of the "I only ride my bike during the tour" kind of guys......

Old girlfriend just did an Elbrus summit... seems kind of weak to me, but surprised she did it... never knew she had it in her... of course I'm always surprise at how amazing some of the woman I've dated are....

ugh.... ya... this post kind of sucks...

I'll try not to talk about it.... that Bruneal and Team Astana is not saying "getting banned from the 2008 tour is the best thing that could have happened to us..."

Right!... talk about being full of shit. and the Cardinals.. the best thing to happen to them was losing the superbowl!!!

Purgatory

I guess some people don't suffer periodic insomnia like I do... with the knee playing with me, no hard rides for 2 days. My body is not used to it..... with my extra energy tonight I started cleaning.... then I still haven't been able to sleep.... Wimbledon Semi's in the morning... like 6am and here it is 1am and I can't sleep...

I'm sitting with this exhausted self... and yet can't sleep... I lay in bed and there is no quiet mind just a frustrated one, at not being able to sleep..... Tired and no sleep...

grrrr....

the uber fucking bike riding over last weekend

so... with the hard riding.... seems like I needed some Cleat adjustment, cause one knee has become sore... but I made the adjustment and now it seems things are fine.....

my knee is a little sore still.... but my ride was perfect... but it still gives me some "wonk" when I go down stairs...

nothing like a real injury though.... but best watch it...

I have no idea what rides I'll do this weekend.

so

well after the attempt at a fist fight yesterday...
and my Heart rate is up a bit this morning.... I'll keep checking it...

It may be a day to do some cross training.... or just read a book instead of riding....