Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Not sure what to do with this.

Very long days, and they start at 6 and go until 10pm.

Here it was, 9:30 finished dinner and time to decompress...

Keep Fighting... It's all I have.

Things are going to change, or more shit is going to break. I guess the adage is "Can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs." I've been hard on people. It's a big mistake to get in my way. I swear to god, I'm dying... not like I have Cancer. I work too hard to have as little as I have. If somebody thinks they can make things harder for me... or get me to put in a few more hours because they are lazy.

I want more. I swear I deserve more. I gave up "hoping" that Deserve had anything to do with it 15 years ago.

Life just 'Is' to me. What I want, and what I deserve. These aren't concepts I ponder, generally. I'm not about to Dwell on them. I think I've managed some very bad hands at the card game of life. I've done the best I can with them. It's enough.... it's honestly, all I have.

What is the song, "you don't always get what you want, but you get what you need!"... well, i'm not sure I've been getting what I need.

and for the most part, it's time to demand it.

My Ex... she told me to buy a dog. Something to love and that would lick my face in the morning. Good advice, but it would shit all over everything.

There is certainly more, stuff I refuse to talk about on the blog. Much of it is relationship stuff. Nancy threw a little tidbit, seemed like something I already knew.... "People can either hang with you or they can't.". Again, I work my ass off. I deserve a few fun hours on the phone to a friend, or a nice bike ride with another. I deserve it to be a nice, a fun time.

And ya... I'll fight for it, with every cell in my body, and i'll fight for what little i have. I'll piss and shit and kick and scream for it. Until anyone who steps in my way... Well honestly.. until they shut the fuck up.

Certainly I could consider, showing more compassion and love.. it would grow more fruit... but I think i have played that game.

I work my ass off, every day.

People don't quite get how "High Volume" people cyclists are. They are down on 3 or 4, and we tend to run at 6-8... and love to kick it up to 10.
Yep... but there is a price to pay... but there is also a price to pay for not hearing the music.

There's an old Earth saying, Captain. A phrase of great power and wisdom, and consolation of the soul in times of need." - “what's that then?” “ALLONS-Y!!”

(this one had it's moments, If I put some more time into it... developed some of the themes better... and in a more cohesive manner.... But... it's bed time.. More thoughts tomorrow)

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