I was awoken by the strangest dream. I was in the hospital. I don't know if I had cancer, or if I was being tested. There was some vagueness as to why I was there, you know how dreams are.
I'm a huge fan of asking myself "What is the universe saying to me, where does it want me to be.". Seems like sometimes my dreams give me some idea of what where what and how things are bothering me. Well, this dream didn't. One of my "internet super friends" one I've never 'really' met, a male one was there, somehow. In the dream it seemed like such a good friendship. Somehow I think I could use more good friendships.
Here is the thing, for some reason right now, it seems like the universe is in flux. Somehow.... usually when I reach into the belly of the cosmic vibe.... Reach into the deep knot of the cosmic strings... Usually I can get a feel for where i'm supposed to be going, and what i'm supposed to do. I don't have that right now. I think I was talking to someone and I said, 'it's like i'm at a fork in the road. Many Forked road.' . It seems very strange. I don't know what the hell to do about it.
Somehow i'm a bit overwhelmed. My intent was to race HOTN. In the past 5 days, I've gone from a light work week, to a heavy one. I think that the boss, who is a knob, realized what good work I was doing. Suddenly I have a ton more hours. All of this interfering with my training and my life. I mentioned previously having a hard day. Many years ago I worked some 24 hour days. When you went home, it took 2 days to recover. I actually feel like I just woke up from my haze from a miserable shift. But that was just Monday... and here it is Wednesday. I sometimes wish I was one of those half assers who wander about clueless and able to just go home not realizing what a shit job I was doing.
I'm not sure reading Facebook late at night and dinking around .... Not sure that is it.