Where the hell was I.... Things were strange... things are still strange. I'm still contemplating my future. I need to do something with it. I have 3 options, some random dude I met said "Do all three".... ya, I think that gets dangerously close to indecision.
Speaking of indecision, I swore I was doing HOTN. Then since my lame Achilles problem and other odd things going on. Which included, one long stressful week at work. Training has sucked. I feel like I pushed it a little hard on my birthday and have paid for it. One would think I would be thrilled to get the extra hours, but my knob boss screwed me out of much of the benefit.
That conversation went like this.
"We want you to X"
"Ok, but that will require Y"
"Well, no we don't want to give you Y"
"Then I don't want to do X"
"We still want you to do X. We really appreciate you stepping up for the company."
"I'll do it, but don't bother asking again."
It's funny how i'm stepping up for the company, yet somehow they won't step up for me.
So.... Long week, long weekend.... After getting a little ride in yesterday, I said, "why the hell not ride HOTN". Who knows what the hell i'm doing with my training.... Who knows what the hell i'm doing with my life.
So.... Uncertainty... Seems like for the past few weeks, i've been digging the uncertainty. Ok, digging may be a strong word. How about.... embracing. It kind of feels like the first time you start swimming or riding a bike. There is something wrong with there not being something hard under your feet. It seems like I'm getting used to it.
If you ask some, the thing is we are all traveling in a cloud of uncertainty. It's only an illusion that of certainty.
but I certainly need to get some focus going. Get some direction.
I don't know... maybe that is the joy of the uncertainty.....