Close to the bone

Playing it very close to the bone yesterday. I fell asleep then woke up a few hours late for some reason. Can't sleep now so..... here I am.

I told myself that on this trip I was going to ask myself a ton of questions. I think I was sure I couldn't avoid it.

In the words of T.C. McQueen:

"Ask, and answer; who am I? and what is the point?"

As I was finishing my ride. The squirrels that talk to me, and run around in my head. Well... dehydrated and warn out.... it said "you may just have to face the fact you are unlovable".

easy....

Out of this, I realized that through this "Relationship" Suddenly.... Through this horror show i've been a part of for the past Year now. Well, suddenly here I am..... Feeling worthless. I let her ... have me feel worthless, and unloved And that is over....

I'm not in a relationship to feel bad... One would hope that they build you up. There is a whole world of people out there, ready to make you feel bad.

I think... and I could be completely out of left field, I suspect the thing is to have people close to you make you feel good. Some call me crazy..... all this obvious stuff like wanting people around me who make me feel good, and realizing that people who want to be around you actually like you.

Time to face the fact that she is a hurtful person... and it is time to cut her loose.

I'm a little surprised this is what the universe at this point decided to point out to my stupid ass.

I also may be back in that thing where I won't date or meet any new people who know about the blog.... I don't know... More thoughts.

It's honestly too much for one weekend.....