A life unfinished...

(edited 10:15am wed)

I swore I wasn't going to ... do the insomnia thing... somehow the train ran off the tracks... going strait to bed after work, only sort of worked.

I read Greg Steel's post ... both the previous and most recent, him not realizing he had been in a funk... or had hit rock bottom. There is that point where you feel bad.... that point beyond depression, where you finally admit it.... you say "I FEEL BAD!". Fortunately that is the point where the worm turns. Because, at that point you realize there is a problem, and start doing something about it.

The other side of that coin... Well I was supposed to have a date, a date with my Ex...Tickets purchased 2 months Prior, for a woman who I couldn't stay in an ongoing relationship for longer than a week and a half. 4 breakups after buying the tickets... well finally one of the breakups stuck... I guess it was that one that left me alone on christmas. Well, she got even with me....

I realized though... I have started doing things to accommodate another person in my life, things that are needed when someone else is here. Of course I made them for the ex... now it is a little depressing to see them. Instead of thinking they were for her, I just need to remember they are for me, for me to move into the new chapter in my life.

I remarked to yet another friend that "the date", that event which she wasn't there for felt like the end of that chapter. My happy chapter that started last year with "Leap into Uncertainty"... and certainly got "UN"... if you get what I mean.

To be honest, I'm quite "plussed". I have some very nice friendships going.... and Brewing. I'd mention my valentine ... but it's... well I just mentioned it. Things are crazy... and things are good...

Ahhh... A life unfinished, it's interesting how many of us are somehow in some stage or process of finishing one life, or trying to start a new one... or just getting new things going. Like new generations of new experiences. Seems like last spring I was ready to "Start some kind of life" and share my life... I worked on it... and Seems like it was a false start... but... Onward... and maybe some of the new ... who knows what will blossom within my life and maybe it is all a start of My real life... My... Life like other people have, to find that thing that..... keeps me out of bed... Keeps me from shaking my fist at the cars as they drive past...

Here is to the strangeness of it all... the Uncertainty... who knows what will happen in the next year... who knows who will be falling apart... or building things back up... who will be struck by some kind of cosmic lightning..... But I guess that is the deal... It's the uncertainty... and we can be sure that we can be certain... that in the next year... it will be Uncertain....

No Pictures...