Another day.

... The mop has a new friend. Just like all of you, she probably doesn't know what to think about me... or about this blog.

Hell I Don't know what to think about the blog or me these days. I was actually reflecting on that the other night. I was wondering if "The mop" is an Alter Ego.... Sorry, I just had to look up "Alter Ego":

An alter-ego (Latin, "the other I") is a second self, a second personality or persona within a person, who is often oblivious to the persona's actions. It was coined in the early nineteenth century when dissociative identity disorder was first described by psychologists.[1] A person with an alter-ego is said to lead a double life.

So, what I recollect was more that this tends to be a more honest self than I show the general public. My Inner self.... as opposed to anything else. It's not like I'm out Saving babies from kidnappers or something, or pretending to.

I like to see this blog like some of the infamous Groucho Marks Asides:

it starts at 2:30

so....

I've been working my ass off. This morning was one of those days where I had time off, I realized that I didn't know which way was up.... or which way I was going. I watched the Australian open Final. Then went back to sleep. I think I had about 5 nightmares. I felt like I was puking up 2 weeks of bad dreams. Or horrific interactions with people.

It's funny how people react to the same situation. To realize how .... Some people are so messed up they can't even answer simple questions. "how did you get here today?"...

then they start rambling.... "Well it all started with a shower... then I put on some clothing... I wore the blue shirt, because it is a tuesday... I love blue on a tuesday."

Then you say, "No... Did you drive or walk?"

they say.... "I had a blue shirt on... I never drive in blue!!!"

Me, "so did you walk?"

them "No... my shoes are too nice to walk in... it would hurt my feet"

me, "so how did you get here today? what kind of mode of transportation did you take."

and you just don't get it...

So, today was a chance to try and get things back together, in my head. After tennis I was hoping for some bike riding and then a nice afternoon nap.... Well, the nap won and the rollers lost. I managed to get to get a little ride later in the afternoon. I honestly wanted to just lay in the dark....

Work is something.... I continue to see tons of work... that isn't going anywhere. After 2 weeks of it, and doing a tally today. After getting a chance to breath, I realized how it's just not ... This work is just direction-less. A means to an end... some money.... but it's still nowhere....

J-Rad reminded of my existential tenancies today, of course was I being existential which caused it... or did he remind me, which threw me into a day of introspection.....

Well... I kind of feel like crap today..... I should have ridden the bike more.....

Crap. Spinning my Wheels Chapter 42

and ... this blog is becoming just a ramble.... but it's my ramble... what are you going to do about it.