I think this is about 2 weeks of regular riding. It's all starting to blur together. My head is still in a terrible place. Just ... Too much. If there is this line where you are dealing with too much crazy bullshit. I have no margin of error, if one(additional) tiny thing starts to go wrong, I start spiraling out of control.
Ride one I was going to just spin around the block. There was a ton of snow and I was nervous, but the weather felt fine and I started and decided to give it some miles.
Ride two was the same thing. I did look out and decide the weather was nice enough to do a real ride. It was nice to get out, but I am exhausted, its been a nasty week.