Thursday, February 16, 2012

Valentines duality....

I was reflecting on the possible dichotomy between Valentines and Single Awareness day.

My entire life I have always felt like Valentines should be like it was when we were kids where everyone got a valentines, and we picked through a box and tried to apply our feelings to each other from a box of pre-made valentines... giving those extra special ones to those extra special people.

As I was reflecting on it and was reading about how many people see Single Awareness day. As either a Celebration of being single or a desire to be counted on a day that points out your misery at being single( it is called SAD ). It made me realize how this holiday which should be about love, seems to have become about cards and about being in love with your significant other.

It seems like what could be a nice holiday about our affection for each other... like many holidays it's become about our feelings about our self and maybe about our own self loathing and insecurities. Maybe next year I will remember and just share that deep and innocent love and caring for each-other. Here is to next year...


Marjolein Schat said...

My main beef with the way Valentine's Day has been celebrated in recent years is the concept that you only need to show/express love and caring for your significant other/friends one day a year.

It would mean more to me for a significant other to show affection and love in small ways throughout the year than in a huge showy way just once a year.

I know a couple who have been married for many years, and who have had bumps along the way. They are well off financially. Before Valentines day every year she gives him a short list or a single item of showy and expensive jewelry with an ultimatum: "You will give me this for Valentine's Day."

I don't know how he feels about this, or how they arrived at that as their modus operandi. I can say that it doesn't seem to be to show love or devotion. It shows a lack of trust on her part that he would find a way to celebrate on his own, and it appears greedy to me in that from what I understand, the list is always a piece of expensive bling, and never contains the intangible - a day in a place special to the both of them, time together without the kids and elderly parents at hand... On his part, if he follows the list it shows appeasement rather than caring and devotion, and to some degree a lack of creativity. Though in his defense, if she were unhappy with an alternative item of his selection, I would not want to be him... she has a bit of a temper.

Rather than an expensive necklace or a heart shaped box of chocolates, lets to to a small chocolate factory together and learn how the chocolate it made and each pick out a few chocolates to try at the end. Let's take those chocolates to a meaningful place and enjoy them there - together.

Let's do that as a surprise "I love you" on a random day in March when the weather has been dreary and we need a pick me up! Let's not buy cut flowers, but in May or June when our favorite flowers are coming into their own, take a trip to a wildflower/botanical garden and celebrate their living beauty. Let's Surprise each other at random times with dinner out or by making each other our favorite home cooked meals.

Let's remember to tell the folks who are important in our lives that we love them and appreciate them daily. Let's thank them regularly for being amazing people and for deigning to let us into their lives. Make showing love the norm rather than the once a year "special occasion".

The Mop said...

Far be it for me to disagree with my only reader. :) Thank you for your input.