I spent most of last night and most of the morning breaking up with my girlfriend. The jist of it from me was "your life is too fucked up, and you are in a constant state of screwing mine up. I know you mean well, but I've had my fill"
She hoped that this morning I would relent. I said, "I can't spend the next year worrying about you every day, you have to chose to put an end to this stuff." and she wouldn't. to her defense, she doesn't even know how. It was just too much for me, I couldn't live in a constant emergency.
It was the right decision, it's just strange when the only decision you can make is to not care about someone so that their horror show life doesn't affect yours. My only choice was to stop caring..... of course that is hard.
I guess it is all my fault for letting it all happen, should have ended it many months ago.
Ryan posted a post about Mormons.... I have one thing to say about the Mormon Zellots, the ones who are "hard core". Freud talked about overcompensation, I kid you not there is a huge element of the church who like warren jeffs are just using it for pedophilia. I'd even go as far as saying part of the fundamental issue with "plural wives" has to do with it being an 1700-1800's excuse for being attracted to children. These Zellot Mormons are using the church to hide their pedophilia or any number of perverse sexual or psychological deviance. There are some decent Mormons, but after all the things I've seen I'd never trust a Mormon with my kids, especially one who "talked the talk", many of them just use it to get access and gain trust.
fun fun fun.....
I hope I can get out on a bike ride.... one problem is that she broke my MP3 player months ago, and I haven't had time to set up the new one.
cry cry cry.... just move on.....