Friday, September 20, 2013

Wrong side of lunch

I woke up on the wrong side of "you need to go fuck yourself" this morning. Well, the morning was fine, then I had to work, then I came back and... well "Y'all needed to go fuck yourselves".

I am fairly certain of it.

It's interesting, I think I'm more convinced than ever that y'all are hopeless. I don't think y'all know what makes you happy. Of course that makes me ask, Do I know what makes me happy?

There is something really wrong. I think we have enough distractions for 10 people. Movies, TV, Internet, Games. All of this getting us so far away from living our lives, so far away from Being alive. All of these distractions interfering with being alive. "Hang on a minute, I can't talk to you or help you I need to watch my favorite episode of Friends". It's a fantasy, it's a dream, It's like people are in a dream all the time. Then when your real life happens, you don't know what to do about it. You barely know how to live it. Barely know how to respect yourself or the people around you. Developmentally challenged... I can't turn a year older, I've spent the past year watching "the new girl" she is finally going on the big date. I can't live the idiot on 'the big bang theory' is pretending to be smart. I was watching some movie the other day, watched about 30 minutes of it and went "ya, All I can see are 3 bad actors on a shitty set, I'm turning this off"

Yet, where is my life, been trying to live it for years. It's not there. Read an article about happy people, who surround themselves with happy people. Easy to be a monk in a monastery. Another part is a life of service and caring about the people around you. If you are surrounded by people who are happy, they don't exactly need anything. It's people who are miserable who need service.... Easy to help people who don't need it. Funny little quandary there. If that is it, I'm doomed. Cause I have some of the most mixed up, miserable people around me you have ever seen.

Good luck.... I may not say it to you... but maybe it would be better if you internalize it.... Y'all need to go fuck yourselves.

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