Hmmm

Well, it seems like I'll probably be spending more time here on the blog.

I had a great conversation about Uncertainty this week. As we remember "Leap into Uncertainty". The conversation lead into one about Risk management.

It was interesting....

I'm just saying....

What does empowerment look like.

This is my new thing. We all know I like to have these things. I've been pondering how being an empowering influence, Looks like.

I've been a huge fan of respect. Treat people with respect and demand respect.

Well

I was asked to pull the conversation with her father off the blog. I want to point out that it's my opinion, and I've talked to numerous professionals in mental health, incest, and abuse. That the conversation was Sexual abuse. That was what I felt about it at the time. Just as there is Verbal Abuse.... Bla bla bla....

But I pulled it. It was a legitimate example of sexual abuse.

Passing time

Long few days. Somehow I gained 10 pounds not eating anything. Or a scale was incorrect, or I was dehydrated last time I weighed in.

My life is back to being .... "Structured" Which is unbelievable helpful. I will tell you, Live an Unstructured life, then switch it to being structured.... you will see a big difference.

I have yet to know if I'll be dating soon. Regardless, I'll probably decide to take it easy. What is yet another Christmas Alone, it will be just like the last 16... No worries, I'm sure I'll be filled with my usual Bile for Baby Jesus.

Well this was a post, I have netflicks on demand now... Which... well, I have yet to watch anything I like... Seems like if that doesn't rectify itself, Netflicks may have to be rectified. New haircut, looks slick.

I would just like to end by saying ..... FUCK!!!!

Where were we....

I'm back to my regularly scheduled life. Structure... It's important. I've talked to her a few times in the past week.

It's the most normal thing that You don't get along with someone and your Significant Other does. For some reason, rejecting her father and even labeling him as some kind of Massive Defect really Triggered her.

I'm not sure what is going on in the relationship, seems like she is having a hard time dealing with it all. Another odd thing was that there was a ton of misplaced blame in the family. Lots of weird "This is your fault, you made me do this." As opposed to "you did this, You own it"

And the Idea that I may be dating again...... Jesus!!! What do they say "Get back on the horse" but...

AB ride.

I rarely tell this;

I found the Utah cycling Community because of Allan. Umn.... So it felt natural to go to the ride, to share and remember him. That is part of where I started with everybody, Just after he passed. I sometimes like to think some of his spirit found me.

Maybe part of that spirit ... Saved me.... Woke me up...

Of course .... Some may say my salvation is still in question.

Anyways..... Thank you Allan!

I always hope I'm worthy.

Hummm

I was dying to blog tonight.... I kind of miss you old friend. But really I miss you old friends... Yes! I mean YOU!!! I miss you..... Yep.... YOU!!!!!.... Yep.... I'm serious... YOU!!!

Lots going on with the old mop.....

I want to say some stuff.... If your parents are decent human beings, if they treat you with Respect and love. I would like you to call them and let them know how much you appreciate them. There are some Awful parents out there. Appreciate it if you have one. You deserved to be treated with Love and Respect. In fact... YOU STILL DO! Stand for nothing Less.

ok... that is an hour and a half of staring at a blinking curser. That is all I have.... apparently.

Seriously, I'm either out of the habit of blogging or....

I keep saying this to this woman I love.... I seem to be saving my best material for her.

The table

I've apparently dumped my entire self worth into this stupid thing.


First Coat

So much stuff, so little time.

It certainly felt like fall tonight.

Shit.... I sat down to write and I have ....

so may things going on....

and I could use a few extra minutes of sleep rather than blog....

I do have so much to tell you.

Like I said... "Shit was going to change, or things were going to get broke"....

I guess .... things getting broken.... kind of make the change... I guess that is sometimes what has to happen.... you have to Break things and throw off the "Old ways" to make the new ones.

*punt*