Never watch a cyclist eat a dogunut

30 days of babble... day number Eight Million Three Hundred Sixty Five.

I put in a few miles today. Marina and home. First time out there this year. It was nice, nobody was out there, lots of 'Civilians'. I've been trying to rethink my eating plans. With the bonking training, I've been trying to time it so that I eat early, and if I want to run into the Wall the last 30 minutes, I can time it.

I rolled out without the Chamois Cream! I needed it on suncrest. My rule is anything over 40 miles. Strangely.... and to be perfectly honest. I went to get it, and found myself Facebooking... etc.. Out there, I totally waved at everyone. Chatted with everyone. Hopefully we all know how important it is for cyclists that are starting to get a little recognition from the more veteran riders... A little acceptance. It may keep them in the Super Suit, and not give up. Especially when we aren't sure that we look like dumb asses in our Kit.... Seriously... we all look like dumb asses in our kit... And have you seen those Helmets! I think the only thing dumber would be to stand at the bike shop, Look in the mirror and say "Does this look dorky?"

With my food management, I pulled one cliff bar and ate it on the way. then at the marina I drank a coke. On the way back before I hit the hill on 5600 or the first gas station I hit. I went in and picked up a doughnut... Oh! my weakness for doughnuts!!! As I got out of the store, I shoved it in my mouth... the Creamy Filling dripping down my chin. I got to my bike, wiping up the filling from my chin. I look up. There is one woman in a Jeep staring at me. A woman putting gas in her car, and a third woman who rolled in on a bullet bike with her boy!.... All of them staring at me.

"Never Watch a Cyclist Eat a Doughnut!", I bellowed and shoved the rest of it in my Pie Hole. All three laughed.

Memorial day

30 days of content... day 9342.65

I'm exhausted, I need better sleep. Memorial Weekend, time to remember the fallen. Strange the rituals we come up with. I saw a family who put out a basketball hoop and a teddy bear.. the whole bit. Elaborate flowers, built into an entire bed to cover a grave. People who go out and trim the lawn around the marker. Rinse and soap it down, a nice polish of wax.... etc...

I gave a nice smile to a woman who was headed out to a grave... She wasn't happy... I guess some people see it as indentured servitude to the dead. I like to look at the dates that they died, and remember what was going on on those dates. "Oh! this person died when Nixon was in office. " This child never even saw the Stock market crash of 1929"... I also think that many people are opting to be Cremated these days. Maybe we will have a new ritual, Put out a picture of the person on memorial day. Either that or we will just start to forget the dead.

(Quick note... I want to work up some good posts, and I'm exhausted. Maybe with some time to reflect.)

Punt!

30 days of content 26

We are getting there... it feels like we are coming to the end of this 30 day drama, and there are no more tricks in the legs... Just need them to get me through and it is Friday, and I have had a very full week. I'd love to sleep in.... won't happen... even "The Mop" is tired of his nonsense on friday!

I think... I'm getting this one in, just under the wire.

So very busy today... I did so many things, I can't even list them. I didn't make it on the bike, but the weather had me... it was raining at my usual ride time.. and I ate and then did more work.

I attacked, somebody attacked, I countered, they countered.. somebody won.

My chest of drawers... is lemony fresh!!!

Rally Mop Rally!

#30 days of content 25

Spic and Span... I wonder where that phrase comes from.

The product took the name from a common phrase meaning extremely clean, "spick and span", which was a British idiom first recorded in 1579, and used shortly afterwards in Samuel Pepys's diary. A spick was a spike or nail, a span was a very fresh wood chip, and thus the phrase meant clean and neat and all in place, as in being nailed down. The "span" in the idiom also is part of "brand span new", now more commonly rendered "brand spanking new", and has nothing to do with the words "Spanish" or "Hispanic".

I swear, I'm almost there on the Kitchen and Bathroom. I still need to fix some broken grout... etc. Seriously, Every project I've put off for years, is getting cranked out. ... I guess this is all part of the "Shit is going to change... Or it's going to get Broke"(The poor usage of the English language is intended.) I'm always playing it by the skin of my teeth. I feel like i'm ... I just don't feel like I've been as attentive to your feelings as I would like to be.... You know, I'm caught up in scrubbing and mowing and trying to get the garden sorted out and work. The bad part is all the chemicals, they keep building up in my system.. and it's messing with me. It has my mojo off kilter.

I sit down tonight and look through the blogs, and there is just some amazing stuff out there I've been so caught up in my own Cleaning Haze... and Honestly.. some Vial mojo, which I guess i can blame on the chemicals... but... I'm happy to own it. But I feel I've missed all this great work going on out there... So many hours, not enough Allons-y

I did a small ride today.. I want to puke when i'm out on the bike, I'm running 70-80% and my legs just Burn, and are empty. I did have some nice sustained 20mph uphill efforts today. I would love to put in some real miles. I think i'm done with the heavy duty stuff though. Now just need to push them to the finish line....

I have the worst attempt at a post... Honestly, if I put some work into it... It may get better... I think it has a strong finish... but I'm working on it.

Everybody is perfect, but could use a little work.

Guess who is back?

This is Pre 'Coffee date Woman'... the "I'm busy Woman", With Manners BTW. She is in a "I like having you around, kind of thing.

I like having me around.... I ROCK!!!

Sometimes, people don't realize when I get them all worked up, or when I get their project Rocking and Rolling! They don't realize, that is what I'm doing... they think it's organic. I'm working to generate momentum... When you do this... you have to watch for "Anchors", and you try to get them in line, or you cast them off.

This post sucks!!!

Fairly sure i'm over it. There is such a darkness with that one.

Running on empty

30 days of content 24

I'm skipping much of my cleaning today. Work, and i'm going to try and get some mojo back. When I was looking for Gardie stuff, I looked through the old blog. UGH!!! Even reading some of it... Here is some honestly, I want a nice posts. Sometimes I feel like I'm shooting the moon, and can't get them out, even when they are impressive, or at least readable.

I'm in a cleaning funk! I need to get some rest, then rally, and my schedule is packed.

This is how Scattered I am. I was listening to x96 the other day... Ugh.. I guess at nearly 40 I'm starting to hate that station. It's like reliving the early 1990's... in the 1990's when they played the same shit..... I wished they would play "Bitchen Camaro". But... I hated what they played in the 1990's, here it is 20 years later... now they play Retro! What Retro... 1990's... It's nice we have a station that hasn't purchased a new(to them) record in 20 years.

This is what I have for today... maybe something later.

I'm not missing you yet!

30 days of content 23

Home stretch... How did this become a competition.

Ugh... where did my day go. I did make it on the bike... so that may have had something to do with it. I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts together tonight. Maybe if I fold my Towels

You know, it's towel day tomorrow.. the original Interstellar Hitchhiker.. "Next Stop EVERYWHERE!"...

One of my goals, hopefully this year, is to write something and get it published. I think I'd rather, write something that, I think should be published. Who cares if it is, but I'd love to write something that I love that much.

Too much noise in my head! I have some good meditations going on "The great Opera" and "Fear/being judgmental"

Honestly I don't even know what "I'm not missing you yet" means!

I think I can honestly say this one sucked!.

Tears in the Rain!

30 days of Content 22

There is a sound outside. I opened up my window so I could hear it ... in it's most complete splendor. It's an unfamiliar sound for these parts. It's the sound of rain. It's accompanied by the sound of cars, cutting though the water on the street. It never rains here.

I was excited when I went to the park. I made use of an umbrella. Very exciting the umbrella, its compact frame sneaking from the folds of a jacket, a few clicks and suddenly a respite from the drizzle unfolds. A warm jacket and all is right in the world. Let the music continue, let the dance begin.

Free form

Ugh... 30 days of whatever... is starting to get to me...

I don't know about you guys... Is this the part where the Vino of blogging, starts to show some weakness...

One of my goals was to try and do the perfect 2-3 paragraph post. As busy as things are right now. You can see, that I have 2-3 ideas per day for the blog, and I try and develop them. Honestly it's 2-3 themes from my life, and I try and turn them from disorder to order.

The last one was 2 ideas One about how easy confrontation is. Another about having a melt down in HomeDepo. Then Linking them together... or trying to... All in 2 pages and about an hour.

The woman who calls me and yells at me about my Tile, called... she is doing the Melt down. I started yelling at her(this is the kind of relationship we have). YOU ARE HAVING A MELT DOWN!!!! YOU HAVE ME SCRUBBING EVERY TILE TOILET SINK PIPE DRAIN FLOOR WALL NOZZLE GLASS SURFACE IN MY HOUSE! YOU HAVE ME IN MY UNDERWEAR, WITH BLEACH AND SCRUBBER... IN ORANGE RUBBER GLOVES... WONDERING IF IT WOULD JUST BE BETTER TO SANDBLAST IT ALL!!!!

BUT SHE IS HAVING A MELTDOWN!!!!

and we laugh and she finds it funny... I find it funny. I ask her all the laundry questions, I've never hand the answers to... and even if she doesn't know, she makes up some bullshit answer.. and feeds it to me. But it is fun, and things are getting very Polished...

So... it's 8pm and i'm exhausted, long weekend, i need to recharge. What do I have to do?... When I cleaned the refrigerator on Friday or Saturday... I didn't clean the coils underneath... ok... back to the coils... 8pm on Sunday.. I'm vacuuming . I'm dusting.. why? because in the morning.... she will be on my phone yelling about it...

Ugh.... but it's funny

End of my Leash!

Content 21?

Everything is fine, no worries. At least so far.....

It has been such a busy weekend.

"There never has been a better wing man, when things get dang". One of my skill-sets, is an ability to negotiate. Nothing scares me, business wise. I knew a legitimate Chinese gangster. He used to tell me stories. I also used to deal with nefarious types, regularly. One might even suppose that I was a nefarious type... One may even think I am a nefarious type. Most of that doesn't happen anymore.

I could tell you a story about how I heard the voices of a few people who, last I knew were talking about Kicking my ass, in my flat. I went right up and confronted them. Everything worked out fine. There is nothing like wondering if there are 4 guys in your apartment, ready to kick your ass... and being willing to go straight into the lions mouth.

I swear to god, if I gave you details. You would think I was lying, if you don't already.

SO..... suit and tie... it's all good, i'm happy to throw down. All my life, I've had people call me and say "This is a nasty meeting, and I want you to go.", I didn't realize until recently, but it's all game theory... I know how to play a game. That is a negotiation, a game.

One of my friends called me, "I have to go to a dinner, you want to be my wingman"

"who is going?"

The list was as long as my arm of people who very much dislike my friend. Catty awful people. Half of them, can't stand me either. I on the other hand, unlike my friend, can be openly hostile.

"No problem", I replied. off I went to what one would expect to be the worst possible evening.

Nothing like a challenge!

Most people won't be rude, especially people who are Catty. They want to slit your neck, after you leave, they don't have the balls to do it to your face. The fun is to look them straight in the eye, and even make snide remarks about how shallow they are.

It all went off, without a hitch. Everyone else uncomfortable and bitter, me and my friend, having a wicked good time...

Seems like at one point "you just have to throw down". Like I said, they were no Chinese gangsters.

Well, I'm still trying to give the house that deep Cleaning... trying to get all the ... All the things we put off over they years, completed... all the little things we skip and get them sorted out. I said that I was going to make some changes, or I was going to start breaking shit.

I was at Home Depo today, looking at Tile... in the middle of it... I started weeping... Ya.. there are a ton of cleaning chemicals in my system, and I skipped the bike on saturday, and I haven't done a "Big Ride" in a week.... But there I am, tears welling up in the Home Depo, I'm trying to keep the tears at bay, and am not going to let the 18 year old plumbing kid, see me welling up over a marble finish. Ya.. it wasn't about the tile... I know what it was about, but... that is between me and the Tile.

They were no Chinese gangsters..... but sometimes the Tile Section at HomeDepo, Gets to me.... I may be at the end of my Leash.... time to pull it in a bit.

Just doing!

content # 20.

looks like I skipped 19..There is content... I just skipped labeling it.

Big day today, for "The mop". Its strange, thought I'm anonymous, I can't talk about it. Big Day! Banner Personal day! Big Personal Milestone. What is interesting, is it's the same banal stuff that most people would post to their facebook or Blog... and I don't get to do it, since it's something that could link from "Man behind the mop" to "the mop"

Honestly, I'm a little heart broken. I sort of broke up with someone. Someone I think very Highly of, One of those few people that you see as Very special. It killed me to do it, I ground on it all week. I guess I decided to do it today. But it just built and Built and Built... and it became inevitable. To be honest, I'm not even sure that she cares. Seems like she was ready for me to be gone. I just decided to flip the "Off" Switch... stop waisting both our time.

This is the first time, in my life... I sort of broke up with someone and I don't think we are friends. It's ... Different. I never understand, if you aren't close friends, what are you doing dating them? I guess I'm saying, It's not like we are enemies, and like I said, this is a very special woman, Absolutely amazing, But I hit the Eject button, Pulled the Ripcord, better not to prolong it. It just wasn't working, I tried... it seemed over.

I'm dying to know if it will hit me like a ton of bricks.. Like I'm in denial, right now.. and I'll take some time tomorrow and cry myself to sleep, or something ... But... It is what it is.

It seems simple; If I'm having a "Banner day", something important is happening in my life. With someone important to me, I would think I could be sharing it with them. If they aren't there for this things. What am I doing? It's also lame, I'm talking about it here... Feels Unfun!

I have to "own" something. Weeks ago, we talked about the "Coffee Woman" the one that, I went to the movie with the Angry violent sex movie. I said that she would call Last weekend, and she didn't. I was wrong.

Like I said "Big Weekend" for "The mop", 'coffee woman' is also a friend, and because we have been friends for a long time. I've known Coffee woman for over 20 years. In fact, I've known her longer than I've known my Ex. But I had to call her for Moral support on my banner day. Which means, I've blown the whole "wait for her to call" bit. BTW, I've decided to give that up... "the whole wait 2 days, if she waits 2 days"... that kind of bullshit...

If I'm too StalkerRiffic... well that is too bad, she can break up with me. Of course, she then invited me over, which I turned down.. Mostly because.. well, Things are Things, right now. There are still Walls to wash... etc.... a garden to plant. Though I needed the moral support. Hanging out, wasn't in the cards.

Well... continued Craziness with "The mop" I promise... never a dull moment!

Worts and all...

It doesn't feel like, I'm giving you "Full Mop Joy" Right now... I'm going to try harder...

But I'm "Just doing" right now... and it is what I have.

Is this content?... proly not... but ... it is what I have.

Did I talk about Jesus

Alright.... Well, it is what it is.... It's all good when you are an anti-hero.

Warning-notes

I drank beer!

Fuck.... How if I just go in a thousand directions... It's friday...Fucking Friday. I went to Living Traditions. Seriously... people come to the stage, to show you their Culture. Sure they are actually Americans, but they are hanging on to that herratage, and it's free and they show it to you. and there is food that... is too much and too many options...

BUT YOU ARE BUSY RIGHT? TO GO CHECK OUT other Cultures? Busy with that.... WTF you are doing???? FaceBookery ....

But I'm telling you ... an umbrella a jacket and a towel... the towel is to wash off the chair.... even a paper one will do.

Fucking Shenanagains... Are you High! Jesus!!!(sorry to the religious) but seriously... if there is a Jesus, Help me out here! I hope you have it all figured out... Cause if not... YOU ARE FUCKING UP! I don't want to say "Pull your head out!"... But you have to help me! I Can't do everything!... but maybe you have it all figured out.... I mean... Obviously.. right!!! all figured out! Fight God Damn IT!

(sorry, 4th wall Breakage... Just trying to keep my shit in the box)

Well, this post has been fun... You have no idea the shity food I've been eating... and all these damn Chemicals from cleaning... I blame them.

and seriously...

I left the house, all the dishes were done, clothing washed, everything is clean. I come home, now there is another small load, and some dishes..... I'm like the little boy and the dyke with this stuff.... I'd put my dick in the hole..... but....... Wait he put his finger in the hole right?... or did he Pee on something..... I need to brush up on dutch mythology? In fact... I'm starting to get the impression that the cleaning will never be done!

or not... how if I just get some sleep!

Floyd

It was so ... Yesterday. Not sure I care to bore anyone with "THIS IS MY TAKE"...at best, I love the game. Lance is trying not to say anything that can be "quantified". I also loved "Ask me any questions, we have nothing to hide, unless you ask specifics."

He knows the sound bite, you also know, he had Months to think about it, and plan for this. They have been talking about it since Floyd got nailed. I'd even bet Lance encouraged him to take money from people for his defense, so it painted him in a corner.

What people don't realize is lance is a step ahead of them. The suggestion that he would do anything "Rash" is Laughable. The only curious thing, would be if they are setting a trap for lance, but he probably has too many bribes and is too ahead of them for them to pull anything sneaky. Too many people in cycling want to do lance a favor!

Huge numbers of the international guys are doing some form of blood doping, or drug training enhancement. Do I know who? nope....

I think I said it yesterday..... To me it wasn't Surprise another drug scandal... just another Thursday in International cycling.

Bla bla bla bla..... Now it's friday.

Eggs to omelet to Giro

Ham cheese pan eggsHam fried.
Eggs with Water then lightly mixed.
Water makes steam and makes the eggs with more fluff.
Hot pan... Very hot pan, Olive oil or butter.
Very hot pan. eggs should cook in quick light layers.
Extras..... while it's still cooking. but the pan is off, and it will finish cooking.
too much stuff, so it broke open a bit.
Dill and Yogurt on one side, Last year's salsa on the other.

Slightly messy plating...
And the Giro!

Respect

30 days of content. What is this #19

Many Years ago, there was some discussion about "Straight Edger". To me, it seems a bit Judgmental. Walk a thousand miles in another person's shoes, then we can talk. I tend to be very tolerant, of other peoples choices. I don't know why you are doing what you are doing, but hopefully you have your reasons. In retrospect, it seems like just about any life philosophy, tends to be fine, until you decide the whole world needs to worship the same thing you do; at the Foot of Allah, or to the Great Capitalist god; McDonald's and DOW Chemical.

At the same time I was trying to live a bit cleaner, probably drink less or something. I guess in my 30's living a healthier life was becoming more appealing. What I learned was that part of that straight edger lifestyle was about respecting yourself. Showing some character about how we treat ourselves. Of course, I've always been a big fan of; If I can have Inner peace, then I can Extend that inner peace to the outer world, and it makes sense that the same would apply to Respect.

I was reminded, in some current thoughts about Respect, About my long time friend, who was chronically late, and after Years of it, After years of waiting at trail heads, and standing there like a FUCKING LOSER waiting for them hour after hour. That I needed to respect myself more.

It's probably a character flaw, but I tend to be tolerant, then suddenly, like a switch I just turn. "That is fine, Yep... I should sit around and wait for you. Fantastic! Great! Sounds like you are such a wonderful person, obviously you are too good for me.... I'm happy to move on! You can find some new Loser to sit around and wait for your precious ass! Good Luck with that!" It was 2 months before I got an apology, from him. At that point I said "Sit by your phone, Maybe we will do something, at some point." Of course that was near his birthday, and he realized he had nobody to go drinking with. Strange, cause my birthday went completely forgotten. To this day, I get Christmas cards, which go unread.

To them, "It's just how they are". Take it or leave it. On my end, not showing that respect for myself, is extremely detrimental. So, I don't have a choice. If someone isn't mature enough to "own their mistakes", you are waisting your time.

Onward and upward.... or sideways as the case may be! Nothing Else I can do!

And Props to the former straight edger, who helped me to understand that. I'd say, this is when we became "SuperFriends", I've decided that is what I should call Y'All. My SuperFriends!

Nobody's home!

Well, I couldn't tell you

Why she felt that way

She felt it every day

And I couldn't help her

I just watched her make

The same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?

Too many, too many problems

Don't know where she belongs

Where she belongs

She wants to go home

But nobody's home

That's where she lies

Broken inside

With no place to go

No place to go

To dry her eyes

Broken inside

Open your eyes

And look outside

Find the reasons why

You've been rejected

And now you can't find

What you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now

Too many, too many problems

Don't know where she belongs

Where she belongs

She wants to go home

But nobody's home

That's where she lies

Broken inside

With no place to go

No place to go

To dry her eyes

Broken inside

Her feelings she hides

Her dreams she can't find

She's losing her mind

She's falling behind

She can't find her place

She's losing her faith

She's falling from grace

She's all over the place, yeah

She wants to go home

But nobody's home

That's where she lies

Broken inside

With no place to go

No place to go

To dry her eyes

Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside

Oh oh

She's lost inside, lost inside

Oh oh, oh

Lebowski event

Well, I created the lebowski event on facebook same weekend as capitol reef of course some how it's on the 16th and 17th.. I guess no racing on sunday..

Go see the movie...

I hope I have the balls to show up... but heck.. it's me and greg so far.. so I just have to duck him and I'm golden!

No idea what to call this.

#30daysofcontent #18 or something

Yesterday, a 14 year old nerdy girl looked at me like I was on the menu.

Which is good.... and bad.

It's strange about cars, then there was a gaggle of girls in another car, and they were giggling, it involved me.... but I mean, for hells sakes... i'm in lykra. It's when the soccer moms in the suv's give me the look, that I know I'm golden.

Today, some woman asked directions, I think I went to Jr. Highschool with her... or it was my dick talking.(did I just write that?). It was an odd conversation, and she was a little discombobulated. I'm not sure if it was my ass, or the snot hanging from my nose.

Out here we have that hill up winchester, and we can talk Wasatch, all you want, but out here... we like to kick each other's ass on winchester. I kicked it very hard in the big ring up the first half, then finished it off. But when I got to the top... I'm not sure if it was Windex or Bleach that my lungs and system wanted to Vomit! It was one of the two. Time to open some windows, and this may be why I'm not feeling up to much riding, of late.

Point is, I'm not exactly feeling like wolverine, More like Mrs Doubfire or Mr Mom!...

It's all good!

Spring in the step

#30 days of Content, or lack thereof.

Feels like, some of the spring in my step is gone. I'm sure it will be back. I put in some miles today, I couldn't bring myself to do a big ride. It wasn't in me. The weather was awesome. I came home and watched the end of the tour of California, through my eyelids. After getting up at 4am, and taking a nap at 7am, one would think I'd be rested. I keep thinking, if I can catch another nap, I'll Rally!

So far, it hasn't happened. It's important Vacuuming and dusting day. The Mentor, gave me a stern talking too, about how my curtains weren't Ironed. I swear to god! it was not on the list! But... ok, I pulled them down, and ironed them anyways. We laughed about it... and laughed... Then I hung up on her.....

And she called back....

Some days you have to just give up...

They can't all be winners.

Allonzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....